All parents want to raise well-balanced and disciplined kids. But sometimes if kids do not meet their expectations, they may unknowingly get involved in bad parenting. Therefore, it is essential for parents to know about the effects of bad parenting and things they can do to avoid being a bad parent.
Considering the fact that parenting is one of the most important roles in life that most adults want to play it is very important that good parenting models are followed. Unfortunately many parents indulge in bad parenting without even realizing that they are being bad parents. Here are some signs by which you can understand what parenting is and advice on how to break these traits.
What You Need to Know About Bad Parenting
Here are few things that you need to know about bad parenting.
Effects of Bad Parenting
Children who are victims of bad parenting from an early age show tendency of developing criminal behaviour and poor inclination towards academics. Bad parenting can provoke children to indulge in antisocial behaviour. If a parent has anger management issue and suffers from problems in dealing with conflict then it is possible that children will be dealt with insensitively. In the long run kids do not develop the requisite skills to deal with disappointment, anger and negativity.
Open criticism of children in a public way in a harsh tone stuns the confidence level of kids and hampers their mental growth. Neglecting, being indifferent or sarcastic towards children push them towards self destructive behaviour and even encourages tendency towards depression.
Stopping Violent Behaviour
Violence is the trademark of a bad parent. Screaming, shouting and hitting the kids actually alienate them and motivates them to embrace violence as a way of dealing with anger. Mostly parents who are used to violent behaviour cannot stop on their own so it becomes very important for them to seek professional help in dealing with anger management. The way to disciplining children should ideally be through discussions and then assertive instructions delivered in a friendly way.
Ignoring kids is another hurtful act that indicates bad parenting. You should try to build a warm relationship with your children punctuated by demonstration of physical affection. The more free you are in sharing your emotions with your children the warmer your kids will feel towards you as they grow up. In case you still feel aloof even after multiple attempts at demonstrating warmth its best to seek psychiatric help.
Things You Can Do to Avoid Bad Parenting
Here are the things you can do to avoid bad parenting.
Remember Your Own Childhood
70% of bad parenting issues can be solved if parents remember how they used to feel when they were kids and teenagers. There is such a lot of stress, fear, insecurities in the sensitive minds of kids and teens that make them behave in certain ways. As an adult, remembering those memories may help you become more sensitized towards your children.
Allow For Choices
A typical example of bad parenting is being an obsessive parent who interferes in every aspect of children’s life. Psychologically this is a manifestation of parental anxiety and desire to confirm rather than love and concern. If you notice obsessive traits in yourself then consciously try to break the habit by allowing your kids more autonomy. While it is okay to advise your children let them commit mistakes and learn from them too. This is the only way children will be able to take decisions independently.
In case you find yourself addicted to a certain kind of bad parenting style then do not let your ego stand in between getting help. You could opt to join a parental support group which works on good parenting skill building and breaking bad parenting habits. You could also opt to go in for counselling to resolve your own anger management issues. In case you suffer from substance abuse then do join appropriate de-addiction centres immediately.
Whatever is your motivation or trigger for bad parenting it is important to identify and then destroy them. As a parent nothing should be more important to you than getting rid of the evil called bad parenting.
What are the ill effects of bad parenting on children? What are the signs of bad parenting? How to avoid being a bad parent? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team