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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > Parental Dilemmas > Why is 'Helicopter Parenting' a Worst Style of Parenting?

Why is 'Helicopter Parenting' a Worst Style of Parenting?

Find out what helicopter parenting is and why is it regarded as one of the worst styles of parenting.

The process of parenting is now under the spotlight as never before. The media overload, free flowing dubious information sources, profusion of temptations and a spiralling rate of child crime along with fierce competition (starts right from preschool) have scared a section of parents. It is this section who are anxious, over involved and do not know where to draw the line who indulge in the style of parenting known as helicopter parenting. Simply put helicopter parenting is the kind of parenting where parents are obsessively involved in every sphere of their children’s life. Here are the reasons as to why this is the worst thing a parent can do.

Potential Disempowerment of Kids

There are many children who have been victims of helicopter parenting and they suffer a lot with issues of self doubt and perceived self failure. Many show a distinct tendency of lurching into depression and anxiety. Children perceive the over involvement of their parents as an indicator that their parents do not actually have faith in them. In the long run, the lack of confidence developed in kids means that they have a very difficult time looking for employment after they pass out. Most often they have poor interview skills because of a lack of confidence.

Reduced Coping Skills

The parenting style of helicopter parents leads to increased amount of dependence and reduced ability of making decisions on part of kids. This actually translates into diminished coping skills to deal with the challenges that life brings on. While parents mistakenly believe that their over involvement in their children’s lives in every sphere will actually smoothen things they end up making life difficult for their kids. Taking away children’s autonomy over events in their lives is a trademark sign of helicopter parenting actually does not let certain skills develop in children. Psychiatrists say that for self esteem to develop in a child it is important to cope with problems autonomously without help.

Indulging in Anxiety

Many parents defend helicopter parenting by saying that all that they are doing is from genuine love and concern. However, parent behaviour survey results reveal that the motivation is often parental anxiety and not over abundance of love for kids. Doing everything for kids and hovering over all their actions has a lot to do with internal fears and childhood issues of parents which they are vicariously reliving through their kids. The motivation for helicopter parenting is also sometimes from fear of disappointing society’s expectations.

Exerting Mental Pressure

A typical sign of helicopter parenting is parents who always expect their kids to stand first in everything or win every contest. These expectations are mostly conveyed in overt ways. Kids who feel pressurized in this way often perceive that they are not worthy of love and care if they do not win at everything. The tremendous amount of mental pressure and fear this instils in children especially when they fail has a long term damaging effect.

Cultivating Dependence

Most helicopter parents do not realize that they are not going to live as long as their kids and so it does not make sense to offer help in every sphere as continuing this stream of help is not feasible. When the child eventually the parent is not available it is a double shock as not only does he or she feel bereaved but also cannot cope without the constant spoon feeding that was done before.

 Helicopter parenting eats away at the very centre of individuality and autonomy of kids which is why it is known as the worst style of parenting. Helicopter parents actually cause their kids a lot of harm while trying to help them.

Why is helicopter parenting regarded as one of the worst styles of parenting? Which is the better style of parenting? Is overindulgence in life of children good for their development? Discuss here.

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Hetal.3 years ago
Involvement is necessary but over involvement is not good.
Palak.3 years ago
It is definitely a worst style of parenting
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