Parents can never think of harming kids in any way. But there are certain things parents do which unknowingly harm their kids. Here are 5 ways in which parents harm their kids unknowingly.
If you are reading this article then it is obvious that you are either a parent or are preparing yourself for parenthood. With so much information freely available about bad parenting it is natural for you to feel overwhelmed with trying to avoid parenting mistakes. However the surprising fact is most of the worst parenting mistakes that really harm kids are not at all obvious. Here are the top 5 subtle and stealthy ways in which parents keep harming their children.
1. Daily Little Lies
As adults most people lie at least 20% of the time to get out of situations, shrug off responsibility or simply to avoid stuff. Some parents lie about the age of their children upfront just to earn a free meal or to save ticket money. Kids are extremely observant and they quickly pick on the fact that it is okay to tell a lie in order to get an advantage or to get out of trouble. Your children will then start practicing this art themselves and the first people on whom they are going to use these skills are likely to be you. Little subtle lies eat away at the delicate moral fibre of kids.
2. Constant Comparison
Comparing children with their brothers, sisters, cousins, neighbour’s kid, classmates or friends etc; is something that mostly every parent does. This is a classic way of harming children without even knowing it. While parents often mean the comparison as a reference point what kids learn from this is that it is more important to be perceived as better than their siblings and friends in order to win favour in the adult world. Soon their focus becomes outsmarting others rather than excelling on the personal front.
3. Compensating by Material Pleasure
In today’s fiercely competitive inflation ridden world parents are forced to work harder than before to bring up their kids well financially. However, this also means that parents get to spend less and less time with their kids. Obviously, this brings on guilt in the minds of parents and they seem to compensate by buying their kids lots of gifts. These gifts are actually compensation for time (does not work) or a way of buying kid’s love (does not work either). In the long run children get used to getting everything which they wish for without struggling for it. And they also learn that love can be compensated for by material gifts which are even more dangerous.
4. Not Investing in Your Marriage
Many couples neglect each other as a couple completely after becoming parents. Slowly the marriage loses its warmth and the children are always the first to notice which is not bad. But spouse should also be given equal importance.
Seeing their parents being indifferent to each other is one of the worst things for children as it makes them doubt the security of their home. The biggest gift parents can give to their children is to remain loving and affectionate towards each other as that is what truly makes children happy.
5. Digital Dependence
In this highly technology spurred world it is easy for most parents to plop a tab or smart phone or the T.V remote in the hands of kids whenever they refuse to be distracted. However, the daily consumption of electronic content can ruin the imagination, concentration and creativity of children. They also lose interest in physical activity and look upon electronic entertainment as a necessity rather than just an option. Most parents are not even aware that they are turning children into T.V addicts.
Now that you know the daily habits which harm children you can become more watchful as a parent. If you identify any of the above situations in your parenting scenario then this would be the best time to take heed and stop.
How do parents harm their kids unintentionally? How do poor relationships of parents harm kids? What can parents do to avoid harming kid unknowingly? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team