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You are here : home > Pregnancy > Once the Baby Arrives > "I am Depressed"

"I am Depressed"

You're not alone

Vineeta Singh recounts her postnatal experience: "I always thought that when I finally gave birth to my son, I'd feel like I'd climbed Everest - exhausted and thrilled. In fact, I felt weepy and irritable. I just wanted to be left alone. And I felt even worse because I couldn't figure out why I felt that way."

Vineeta's experience is not unique. Ramnik Mehta remembers that for the first few weeks after the baby was born she'd find herself in tears for no apparent reason. She says, "When I held my daughter in my arms for the first time I expected that I'd feel an instant bond. But I was just worried whether I was holding her the right way and feeling a little weird trying to feed her. I was sure that all this came naturally to all other women and I felt quite inadequate." 

The experience of becoming a new mother has been so romanticized by the media and society in general, that a fairly common phenomenon like postpartum depression comes as a rude shock. Statistics claim that as many as 90% of new mothers experience tearfulness, feelings of sadness, anxiety and inexplicable mood swings in the first few days after delivery. One possible explanation is the sudden drop in progesterone and estrogen levels after childbirth. However, there is a smaller percentage of women (about 20-25%) that experience serious depression that can begin any time within the first six weeks of delivery and go on for months. While the fluctuation in hormonal levels is partly to blame, there could be several other contributing factors. 
 

Anticlimax

Every pregnant woman waits for the date of her delivery like a marathon runner looks for the finish line. She imagines herself lying in bed exhausted, but elated at successfully getting through the ordeal of labour, cradling her bundle of joy in her arms. However, many women find that they feel a sense of anticlimax because they have raised their expectations of the 'momentous' occasion so high. 
 

Bloodless coup

For nine months pregnant women become accustomed to being waited on hand and foot, their slightest whim and fancy being fulfilled. Suddenly, the spotlight shifts to the baby and nobody, including their husbands, seem to bother about them any more. This may seem like childish jealousy and most women would not like to admit it, but it's only human to feel that way. Yesterday's princess has become a slave to her baby. 
 

Trying to cope

Some women resent the fact that they cannot resume their hitherto well-ordered existence. Meena Krishnan complains, "Ever since I've come home from the hospital, all I seem to be doing is looking after the baby. My house is a complete mess and I just don't have the energy to do anything about it." Looking after a baby is a full-time job that mothers are expected to do over and above the rest of the chores. If a new mother has no help, she cannot help but feel snowed under, especially since her energy levels are at an all-time low. 
 

Aches and pains

New mothers feel a little like wounded soldiers come home after battle. They have cramps, constipation, engorged breasts, general soreness, may be even haemorroids. Given the fact that they're not really in the best of shape physically, they can hardly be expected to be cheerful. Couple that with a lack of sleep and one can only sympathize with their mood swings. 
 

Guilt

There is so much societal pressure on women to take to motherhood like ducks to water that they feel really guilty if they consider motherhood a drudgery; or if they don't overflow with maternal love every time they hold their babies in their arms; or if they don't think their babies to be the most beautiful in the world; or if they resent the fact that their time is not their own and they can't go out partying with their friends any more. While it is true that once you've decided to be a mother, you have agreed to a sea change in your lifestyle, it doesn't mean that it's abnormal to long for the pre-baby carefree days. 
 

I'm ugly

Somehow when a woman is pregnant and walks around looking like she's swallowed a watermelon, she doesn't feel ugly herself and the rest of the world finds her radiant and adorable. However, once the baby's out, a woman feels nothing but fat. 


Read more on Coping with Depression



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Nikita.10 months ago
Mother hood is the best part of a woman's life but the ladies are worried about their change of shape. They lack the attention they got before the birth of the child.But this should not happen care and attention should be given to both mother and child .They give super amazing advices & tips on parenting and baby growth! I am also a regular user of this app.
 
 
 
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Tammy Morgan.7 years ago
for me it was the other way round people were telling me i wasnt myself but i felt fine with my son it was just the other clostest people around me. ii finally admitted to myself that i may have a slight case of post natial depression so i went to my doctors and he advised me to take a anti depressiant, ive been taking the tablet for about 3 weeks now and i still feel the same.
 
 
 
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Angie.7 years ago
i had my son at 26 weeks he has cerebral palsey hydrochelouphus and elipisey he is allso parcially sighted he is also georgous and i love him to bits we have been through alot and i am still here to tell the story he is 11 now and i have alot to offer please get in touch
 
 
 
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Priya.7 years ago
hi,
i am not post partum yet , ( i am still 27 weeks pg)- though i do anticipate getting depressed as i am sure i am not going to have a happy home environment - my hubby is inviting his mother over instead of my mom - i am not very comfortable with her as i have never lived with her - i am anxious to hell at the idea of not only coping with labour , dealing with a new baby and also having to maintain the balance of relationships with my in- laws that does not exist , any advice how i can cope with it all
 
 
 
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moslem.7 years ago
please take one hour and read this. please and thank you:



o atheist you are feeling depression and you are annoyed, you deny existence of
god.what is your purpose in this life.you will find the answer in the right religion that is "islam",god created us to worship him, he said in the holy quran "and i have not created the jinn and the human beings except to worship me"[surah dhzariyat v.56],islam has answered all the questions of people:why they was created, and what is in grave, and what after death, and are there other creatures than human,now let us look at scientific miracles:
the lates egiptian studies wich conducted in the center of technology of national radiation, revealed that prostration to allah make human free from suffering physical and psychological tension and other neurological diseases...and they discovered that prostration reduce tension, fatigue,and anger,in addition prostration plays an important rule in reducing risk of cancerous tumors.
the researchers pointed out that human subject to excessive doses of radiation,and live most of his life in electromagnetic fields and that what negatively affects his cells,but prostration to allah helps body to unload the excess shipments which caused diseases such us convulsion of muscle, fatigue and oblivion. and they pointing out that the increase in the amount of electromagnetic consignments without deflating exacerbating the matter and make it very complicated,and these electromagnetic consignments couse confusion in the language of cells and destroy and disrupt its interaction with the external environment,so cancerous tumors will growing and maybe the embryoes will get many deformities,and the scientists proved that prostration on the ground help in unloading excess consignments out of the body and get rid of it without any analgesics or medicaments which may couse harmful side effects.
the egiptians experts proved that the process of unloading these electromagnetic consignments start when we connecting our front of head with the ground,where the positive consignments move from body of human to the ground which has nigative consignments,therefore the body will get rid of cargo,especially when we use several parts,when we prostrate to god we use several parts such us nose,hands,and knees.
and in an exciting discovering, the researchers noticed in their studies that process of unloading electromagnetic consignments from body of human requires to trend toward mecca in prostration,and excactely that what muslims do when they make prostration,where they trend toward kaaba in mecca.and the scientists attributed this fact that mecca is the center of the world's land, located in the middle of the earth (and not the grinitch city, as they say ) and we will discuss subject of center of earth later.
and tends toward center of the eearth is the best conditions to unloading consignments to human get rid of his tension, and then he feel psychological comfort, and that what muslims feel when they pray.
and the prophet mohammed peace and blessing be upon him was stretching prostration.
now let us look at the pork: god has been forbid eat pork,ok look what does scientists say about that:
pig contains so many bacterias, viruses,and parasites,and when you eat pork you can imagine what you will get:
influenza
balantidium dysentery
fasciolopsis buski
taenia solium
export
ascaris
trchinella spiralis
zoonoses


now let us look at what some people deny which is jinn knock down human beings:
look at television,look how muslim preachers ( i do not mean quacks who allege that they cure by the quran,but i mean legitimate cureds ) when they reading quran on someone who was knocked down by jinn,we notice that this person move in a strange case, then jinn go out from his body, and returne as he was, natural person.
i wached a documentary on al-majd channel, a philippine person was a magician, and he go back to islam again,because he see effect of athan-prayer on jinn who deal with him.
you may ask me why he embrace islam,as we knew there are many islamic sects: i will say you what does the prophet mohammed peace be upon him said,he said:"my ummah will split-up into seventy-three sects; one in paradise and seventy-two are in the fire". this one is those who follow the way of prophet mohammed peace be upon him and his companions.look at shiites sect, they beat themselves with iron and knives like crazies and mads,and they allege that they love and follow ahl al-bayt- people of the house of prophet mohammed peace be upon him-, and ahl al-bayt are free from shiites as jesus free from christians,and look at so many other sects who do not follow what does prophet mohammed says,so where is minds,this is a future miracle of the last prophet mohammed peace be upon him which confirm that he is the messenger from god.
you eat, drink, and practise all enjoyments of life but you still feel boring,and unhappiness, although everything is available to you, but why?
the answer is that you give your body all what he want, but your spirit not, which need prayer and and many worships to your lord.
when you go to the church you satisfy the spiritual part of your need, how if your belief is belief of islam the truth belief, you go to the mosque and pray 5 prayers a day of prostration and kneeling and solemnly.
-you can see many suicides because of dissatisfaction and concern and unhappiness which many people suffer from especially atheists. this is an evidence:


let us not forget that the devil is seized on that hearts, guide it through the dark to suicide.
but islam is the true religion of allah, does no harm human beig but help him. god has created man to worship. i have read that there is a person not suffering from any diseases, but was not able to sleep, only two hours, although take tranquilizers, etc. ... but when he embraced islam and know meditations of sleep and learn ablution he is now able to sleep.
the second evidence is that scientific studies confirmed that this universe will end and finish, is not that a proof of end this world?
a main evidence is the evidence of instinct, all of us has a sense that beyond this universe there is a creator and a manager of the universe,when a human being feel that he is in danger, for example, if he face an accident of plan or a car he calls god to release him, even if he is an atheist, so what is the secret beyond that??
this universe and its creatures of different colors indicate the presence of the creator of the universe.if you look at the footprints in one place it is an evidence that there is some one go from there, so what about this sky, heavens, this earth and so many very complex creatures, are that not indicate the presence of the creator of the universe who is al-hakeem al-knowing?.
all of us believe in energy, electrical and magnetic and feel pain, but we do not see it but we feel,so that showed us its existence, and we believe in the existence of god even though we did not see him,but because of the evidences of his existence, allah he sent us his prophets and messengers to show us who we will worship and how to worship him, so those prophets calling us to tawhid (oneness of god ) and to do not make a partner with god.
many nations were feel the need to worship god but its explanation of worship was false and wrong, they worship stone, trees, jesus the cross and idols.
 
 
 
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