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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > Social Relationships in Children > Help Your Children Adjust To The Move

Help Your Children Adjust To The Move

Moving house is a traumatic experience. It affects children the most as they feel insecure due to separation from their friends. Help your children be comfortable with the moving. Here's how.

Before the move:

  • Have a positive attitude. Even if you're not thrilled about the move or are preoccupied with the hundreds of details that have to be sorted out, try not to show it. Don't aggravate your child's negativity by whining yourself. 
  • Brace yourself to face a lot of whining and sulking. Be patient and understanding. A child derives a lot of security from familiar environs and established routines. Being uprooted from their homes, separated from their friends and having to go to a new school, can be quite traumatic. 
  • Constantly remind them about the plus points of the place you will be moving to. But at the same time, don't forget to tell them that you sympathize with the way they feel. 
  • While you should allow your children to express their anger and  about the move, do not allow them to cross the line into inappropriate behaviour. Do not relax your standards of acceptable behaviour. It will just be one more thing in their lives that has become unpredictable.
  • Your children should not feel that a door has closed on a part of their lives. Encourage them to resentment so that they can keep in touch with their friends. They could also make a scrapbook of photographs. If possible, arrange for a friend to come visit in the vacations or vice versa. A farewell party will sweeten the bitter pill of separation. 
  • Let your children participate in the move. Allow them to choose what they would like to take with them and pack these things themselves if possible.
  • Give them something to look forward to like a room to themselves or a pet. But don't make promises that you can't keep. 
  • Arrange a trip to your new home prior to moving so that your children can get an idea of what to expect. 

After the move:

  • Do something special with your children the first night that you move in. Take them out for pizza or have a picnic in the middle of your new living room.
  • Avoid a situation, as far as possible, where your children will have to lose an academic year or skip a year.
  • Request your child's new class teacher in advance to get another child to show your child the ropes. This may make it easier for him or her to make friends. 
  • Do not make an issue of it if your child attempts to make her new room look like a replica of her old one. 

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Sushma.9 years ago
its really a pin to shift the house.
Rose.9 years ago
i dont agree with your'e comment on younger children being more affected than teenagers. i was made to move when i was 13 away from all my friends i was devastated i felt like killing myself. its been 2 and half years and im still having trouble coping. id advise you to think about the kids b4 you move.
Vaneesa.9 years ago
i found with our oldest that he began wetting his pants and bed every night again both during and after the move. we have been settled in our new home for about 3 months now and still he wets himself. is there any other mom's out there who have battled with the same problem? if so, please place your tips and suggestions on the board. thanks.
Talya.9 years ago
moving house is particularly stressful to younger children and even babies. what you have to remember is that young children adapt to their environments and become familiar with their surroundings. up-rooting those familiar strings will almost always cause some sort of regression such as pants wetting or soiling. if your bedwetting child isn't far from his or her days of wearing diapers, putting them back into diapers for the night will at least help keep bedding and clothing dry and clean. another option is to use cotton training pants or "soakers" along with rubber pants over top to manage any leaks that may arrise throughout this time.
Ramesh.9 years ago
i cannot forget my old house....
jennifer.9 years ago
i moved suburbs 2and a half years ago at the age of 16 and yes it is the hardest for a teenager to move due to the fact that you leave friends, family and a environment that you know so well behind. and if parents ever want to move please do confront your teenage children first.
kshama.9 years ago
my son is 6years old. how should i advice him about his new school & coping with new friends & entirely new place.
Allison.9 years ago
i disagree with your comment about younger children finding it harder to move. im 14 years old and i have been to about 15 different schools. i have just recently moved again, and i am finding this to be the hardest move yet. this is because when i was younger, i didnt really understand that much about how i wasnt going to get to see my friends that much. now that im older i have made a lot of deep friendships and a lot of connections to the place i was living in (church, gymnastics...). i advise you to not move until your children are on their holidays, and make sure to tell them about the upcoming move as soon as possible( give them time to let the news sink in!)
Jo.9 years ago
i believe that it is very important for small children particularly aged 3-7 years old to at least see the start of the move and to see the house when it is empty, likewise the furniture arriving in their new home.
it gave my daughter a point of reference and understanding that talking could not have acheived on it's own. she would have been very frightened if everything had moved out of her old house and into the new one without her seeing it happen.
involve your children in the move. my son is in charge of making signs for each room and is thrilled to be helping.
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