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You are here : home > Raising Children > Fears and Anxieties > Drawbacks of Overprotective Parents > Comments

Comments:

Name: Neil
Country: India
 Im 20 and my mom is extremely overprotective.she gets worked up with even the smallest of things.i am not allowed to go down for a walk after 8.30.i havent travelled alone in a train.i dont do drugs.i dont engage in any other activities.i love playing football but that too i have stopped playing because the guys are always busy doing other things.it hurts me a lot because this overprotectiveness has turned against me and i have no confidencea at all.i feel scared to do things and i have become double minded.i cant take decisions.my mother is the same.i have always wanted to ride bikes but since we couldnt afford one i never learnt to ride.but thats okay with me.i dont go anywhere.boys of my age are independent,confident and can do things on their own.and look at me,i have literally started to hate myself for what i have become.i am always criticized by my father's family.im so fed up with this.my father says im not big enough.how long can i take it?how long will this go on?i respect everyone.i can lie,i can cheat,like other guys do but i never do it.i know im not so stupid to not understand things but they just dont trust me at all.this feeling i have inside me.i feel so inferior.they say im not fit to survive in this world.and its cruel and im too simple.im a fool.well,then its their fault that i feel so low.please someone help me.my email id is - nilabh.wingrove@gmail.com.im always available.Thanks! i want to get better and change my life.change myself..become a better,confident me.
Name: J. J.
Country: Brazil
 Hi. I'm from Brazil and i've been taking a look at sites that discuss this issue. I've always been overprotected since I can remember. I've got a very low self-esteem and I am dumb. Yes, I am. I don't have friends (actually, i do, but they live so far away from me). I'm a sad person. I have been looking for help in forums, sites etc. but nothing helps. I CAN'T do anything other people can in every way. Anything! I'm 16 (about to turn 17) and i can't keep living like that. Every day i think about suicide, but i lack the courage to do it. I love them, and know they OVERLY love me. They overly protect me. I NEED SOME HELP. I assure my case is a bit different from the other ones. Thank you all. My e-mail: ze.joaquim@yah oo.com.br
Name: Art
Country: U.S.A.
 Being from an overprotective mother I can relate to alot of stuff. My dad wasn't overprotective as much as my mother was. My mom was raised in a house where she had to do what her father told her to do as he was in charge of the house. So I guess that's where she got the over-protectiveness from and threw it on us. Now my mom did let us do alot of stuff like join after school events like choir, band, etc. The only thing is that she was against the types of girls my brother was interested in which were the goth kind back in middle school. She used to call them devil girls and this was before the waterboy came out. My brother rebelled as he didn't want to do what my mom wanted like go to college after high school. So he moved out with his girlfriend a few years back and they live together with their two kids. Me on the other hand obey my parents, its not really that hard to do. I've wanted to rebel but really can't see myself doing so. I was raised to honor your father and mother and respect your elders. Show your parents that you can earn their trust and as you get older you will get trust in return.
Name: Christine
Country: USA
 i am working with a mother who believes her child is alergic to everything. the child has never had a reaction, but things like not letting the child have cake at a party because diabetes runs in the family (she doen't bring an alternative either). any suggestions?
Name: Desperate
Country: USA
 my parents are soooo overprotective!!!! i can't do a lot of stuff normal people can do like my friends. example- my mom and dad won't let me get on instant messeanger because they think i am incapable of not giving out personal information, talking to people i don't know without blocking them and acting my age!! my dad comes in to see what i'm doing every 5 minutes !! i ean its like i'm 6 years old. well i'm not i'm much older!!!please help me!
Name: Meggy
Country: USA
 my dad is so overprotective. i can't do anything. i'm 16, and i asked to do something with a guy my age and he freaks. tonight i went out with my boss for ice cream and we stopped at super k for a few things she needed. he got all mad! i even told him we were going to super k but he didn't think we'd be gone that long. what is gonna happen to me when i'm out with a 48 year old woman who is like a mom to me? he knows her well, too. i can't do anything, i can't ride with my friends anywhere, and i can't drive anywhere besides a 1 mile radius around my house. it's crazy. could anyone gimme some suggestions?? my mom doesn't live here, so i can't go to her. at least tell me some side effects, i'm very shy and i feel this may be why. help!!!
Name: nikita
Country: Middleeast
 i have a 12 year old girl and hence, this is to all those girls here (it seems most are from usa)- they say that their parents dont let them freak out with gals n guys cos they are "over protective". well they mistake their carefulness as over protectiveness. just as familiarity breeds contempt - familiarity also breeds intimacy. the teens is a period of discovery and curiosity - once this phase is over, everything just gets right. the parents are just trying to protect you from the hurt and humiliation that goes with any wrong step. even i too used to go crazy when my mom used to be extra-cautious but now when i am a mom, that too of a 12 year old girl, i am able to understand her paranoia about me. going to a movie with a guy is very fine but i would like to ask the girls in this site, to tell me very honestly that dont the guys try to get too close for comfort, trying to grop the girls taking advantage of the darkness - be honest. its not their fault either - ti's their curiosity that gets the better of them. not all the time they are lecherous - most of the time they are curious. this is just a small example. believe me girls, smooching & petting at this age is real fun & exciting but you know what, when you grow out of this and you eventually do, when you reach maybe your early twenties and you look forward to steady partners, this kind of past is no fun to remember - you'd wish it had never existed. not only this, there are thousands of instances when strangers have taken advantage and tried to molest you - there are lots of freaks out there who think just because you are going thru a phase, they can take advantage of you. we live in a country where free mixing is legally prohibited and any sexual crime is brutally punishable, even then there are guys who try things here although society is comparatively safe here - there is no dope, no open sex and even then i think thrice before sending out my daughter and then in places like india, usa, i am sure parents have every reason to be paranoid where sex and dope are rampant. even home parties are nothing but a place for drugs, sex & liquors - tell me if i am wrong because i know i am not, i have seen them at close quarters coming from a parentage belonging to the hi-fi society. i knew how some of my friends were going about and those days i really hated the curfews but today, looking back, i feel good - i am thankful to my mom & dad cos today i dont feel dirty & used, i have a successful career in comparison to those friends of mine - i am able to look myself in the mirror and respect myself. these very so called friends of mine would be making fun of me and would be trying their best to get me to sneak off for such "fun activities" - its a different issue i never had the guts to defy or hurt my mom & dad. and i know, even though my daughter doesnt like me setting curfews for her, someday, like me, she will be glad too. i m sure all of you girls out there would be too. hence, dont have regrets for losing out on freak out fun - rather concentrate on your academics and nurturing your talents - tomorrow when you have a successful career, you are able to think more wisely and clearly, i am sure, you will find out lots of ways to have fun - as of the moment, have fun with your family and a set of very close friends who prefer real clean fun - then you know your parents are also going to trust you with them to go out for movies and shopping, within decent hours ofcourse - night life is not decent girls or boys - even boys should have a set timing to come and go. once you are into a career, night life will automatically become a part of your life - have fun then. right??
Name: Melody
Country: USA
 i am 15 years old. my parents don't let me do anything and all i can do is stay in the house and watch tv.she let's me go out once in a while. my two sisters got pregnet and i guess they don't truth me or atleast thats how i feel. i don't even like to talk to them and i find myself wish i was somethibg else. help me please cause i think i just can't take it anymore.
Name: Antonietta
Country: Canada
 help! my mom is to overprotective! i can't believe this iam 13 years old and she says i have to have alt least some friends to go to the movies with this guy i really like and he just asked me out but i dont want to ruin it. help if u have any advice e-mail me at toni_vizzaccaro@ hotmail.com
Name: mike
Country: USA
 im such a trustworthy kid, who abstains from sex, drugs and alcohol. i sucumb to all of my parents demands because hay are reasonable, but now the have created a curfew, thats completely irrational. while my friends are having a great time im home, dreaming of the great time im missing. i dont understand why they wont just let come home an hour later.
Name: LUCY
Country: USA
 what if you have these problems at the age of 22? then how do you handle this? you're old enough to do what you want but still don't want to piss off your parents? then what?
Name: Sara
Country: USA
 listen, yes, parents can be overprotective....so talk to them!!!! all you kids are asking for help, so why not ask your parents since they care so much. i use to have really really strict parents. parents that would not let me basically have friends. and the friends i had they had to know every detail of their life and practically control theres to. what i did was sit down and talk to them!!! show them how what they are doing is affecting the way your leading your life. stuff like curfews (reasonable, and remember, a 9-10 o'clock curfew for 15< is not bad compared to the 6 o'clock curfew i had)is not that bad. just think, what if your parents were like mine and you couldn't play sports, or have friends, you had to be in bed by 9 and get a 4.1 gpa or higher. "what if"....now instead of reading this go...right now, take your parents into a living room of some sort and talk to them!!! tell them, not in you statements but in i statements (it's proven that if you don't blame them, you'l have a 50% better chance of them listening and not ignoring you for what they consider whining). hope this helps :-) i'm now 17 and for 15 yrs i had been like a prisoner emotionally and physically....break free by talking to your parents once and for all!
Name: Changita404
Country: USA
 i am 18 years old and my parents are very over protective with me. i have to be in bed by 9pm. during the week days which i think that's ok because if not i feel very sleepy. but they don't let me go out with my boyfriend that much. i have been with my boyfriend for one year and two months now and the only times i have gone out with him were like two or three times over the past. my dad haves a drinking problem and i feel like i cant ever talk to him jus because of that, my mom really understands me with what i go through she is a real sweet heart. the last time that i went out with my boyfriend we were going to go to the movies but my dad wanted me to take my brother, i didn't want to take him because i thought that it was not right that i am old enough to go out by my self so i told my dad that we were going to go to get some ice cream and that i didn't know what time we were going to get back i just left and we went to this coffee place, then we went to the park and from there to subway and we didn't come back until like two hours later, then my dad made it seem like my brother really wanted to go with us and my brother usually goes just for me but i think he gets bored with us and he also made it seem like i told him that i was going to come home early which i didn't. i just feel like ignoring my dad and to get a job as soon as possible to collect money and move out when i am done with high school. i don't know what to do can some one please help me, contact me at this email add it would be great_changitapresi osa@aol.com
Name: helpme21
Country: USA
 im 17 years old and will be 18 in a week. my parents arent as bad as some of yours, but theyre still hard to deal with. i have a 10 curfew on weekdays and a 12 curfew at night, but im ok with that, i guess. i cant be on the phone past 11 and if i am, my parents get all angry with me. also, they dont respect my privacy. they went through my things a while back. i also lied to them for the first time ever and they made a huge deal about it. it was that i was going over to my boyfriends house when his parents werent there and they freaked out. i didnt see a problem with this because they had once let me do it with my other boyfriend. so then they didnt let me see him. so i snuck out. so they grounded me. and then there hasnt been an incident since. so i asked my mom if i could go to the beach with my friends and my (same) boyfriend. i said "i dont want you there at all." and she said "ok. then i wont bother you." "alright," i said. earlier today she mentioned taking along a friend of hers and i was completely confused. i said "i thought you werent gonna go." and she said "no i said id stay out of your way." this exploded into a huge arguement where she accused me of being childish and then proceeded to mock me. whos the adult there, might i ask? so i want to move out. and thats not a new thing. ive wanted to move out for about a year now. ive never supported myself and i feel that its high time that i did. whenever i mention it to them they say, "youll be gone soon enough." not enough for me. i need to know what independance is like before im thrown out into it not knowing what to do. i want to leave, but i dont want to hurt them anymore. someone please help me. ive tried talking to them about it, but they get all irrational and say things like "its not supposed to be like that." if i cant talk to them about it, the only thing i can do is leave, right? just go and not tell them anything? but i cant do that because i want to go to college and i need help with the money there. i need something to help me with this. some one reply to me at isis5123@aol.com!! help me, please...
Name: some1
Country: Other
 my parents are really overprotective and i know i can't do anything about it. i'm 14 and i have a boyfriend. i'm not allowed to go to his house when his parents aren't home, even if we're with a group of friends. i'm not alloud to go to any guys house when his parents aren't home, even if it's a party with a lot of people. i wouldn't be allowed to go even if his older sibling is there. my boyfriend and i are allowed to go to the movies or other places without a parent there but i can't go to his house w/ a parent. i don't see the difference. how are we supposed to get any privacy? i'm not even alloud to hang out with him after school even with a group of friends...there again, i don't see the difference between that and th movie thing. and the worst part was my mom's excuse was "guys can't just be friends" and that's when i got so pissed that i went out on her. my parents told me that's the way it's gonna be untill i'm 18, that i can't go to a boy's house w/o their parents. i'm not even alloud to watch r rated movies...i mean, i can see a few only if they're rated r for violence. i can't wait till i can drive and get a car. then i'll be able to drive to school and then do whatever after school. i might be at my boyfriends house and just say to my parents that i decided to hang out with my friends a little at the ice cram shop after school...or i'll say im gonna go pick up my boyfriend so we can go to the movies, and i'll just to his house...and/my /parents/wont/ know.
Name: Hayley
Country: USA
 my parents are very overprotective!i am 13 and they won't let me date. i now can't see pg-13 movies because they think they should be r. my mother won't let me go anywhere alone, not even to let me go ride my bike.she thinks something bad will happen to me. when will our parents let us grow up? i think that's the question that we all really need answered.
Name: Gett'n Betta!
Country: Canada
 i'm 15 and this past march i got a serious boyfriend. i'm daddy and mommy's little girl so they were so damn frustrating that they all of a sudden decided i couldn't go to my boys house anymore since he lives outside of town. i went to a party and they were nice enough to give me a 11pm curfew (unusual) anywho, i didn't drink and they knew all the info i was outside home at 10:45 and inside at 11:00 exactly. i did exactly what they said they then decided that i couldn't go to anymore parties outside town, only in town ones guess what?? no one has parties in town, duh!!! anyways this summer i was determined to move out a 16. well in the past 2 months i talked to my mom twice about it and she talked to my dad. it's alittle betta and i decided to stay for awhile until they piss me off enough. just talk to them and don't be afraid to cry, scream and be mean because you need to get your point across. i did and i've never fought with my parents,it worked. okay betta go now, luv gett'n betta!!*
Name: Shanda Skeeters
Country: India
 what do you guys think of curfews? im doing a debate in speech and i would like to know what you guys think.
Name: Liana
Country: USA
 i am a 14 year old and i think that my parents are too overprotective. when i had a boyfriend and i wanted to go to the movies with him, they wouldn't let me go even with friends. i'm not allowed to go to parties with boys or even talk to boys. my dad is the worse parent out of the two whenever i ask him when i am allowed to go out with a group of friends, he just pretends he can't hear me or he makes me feal like i'm or sumthing. i've tried talking to him about a million times but he just will not let me grow up. all is that i'm asking from him is to give me more freedom, because when i grow up i'll be scared to go out on the streets.
Name: Bevtoya Bunch
Country: USA
 sometimes parents go too far when it comes to their children . we were not brought in to this worl with a instruction manual so they have to do what they think is best but at the same time they need to realize that children do grow up and if they want them to be responsible adults then they need the chance to become one god bless you all.
Name: Bevtoya Bunch
Country: USA
 i feel as though parents have a right to be over protective with their children it is their job to know their child where abouts but at the same time . i think they cango to far with it i believe parents fear that there childrenare not safe so they unintetionally take things a little far , but parents need to trust their kids more and as they get older they should be allowed to have more freedom going to bed at nine oclock is for and eighteen year old and some parents are un reasonable my were they treated me like i was an infant my dad evenwas concerned about me being downstairs in my own house alone (talk about crazy) but they lossen up a lot eventhough my realtionship with my dad is not good he has to trust me and yours have to trust you hang in there . i did
Name: HTBJumper
Country: USA
 i'm 15, and i'll be 16 in three months. at first, my parents wouldn't let me date, but i found a really nice guy, and now my parents alow me to date him. my mom is so worried that i am going to get pregnant or have sex with my boyfriend, i've tried to tell her, i'm capable of stopping things before they get that far. i don't want to have sex, i don't want to get pregnant or have a family. my boyfriend has the same views on these issues. my mom won't let me go over to his house, even though i wouldn't go unless his mom, dad or siblings were there, and she knows it. this christmas break she doesn't want us to leave the house, and when i asked her if i could go to my boyfriends house (his parents and siblings all there) she got mad at me and told me i was a spoiled brat. then she hit me when i got angry and told her that maybe i got mad only at her for saying no (i didn' shout or scream) my mom thinks i'm worse then i really am, and my curfew on the weekdays, during school, is 3:15, not in the morning, but in the afternoon, straight after school. i'm not alowed to go out on weekends. my mom also told me that my relationship with my boyfriend is sleezy and cagey, just because when i first started to like him, before we were a couple, i wasn't sure of my feelings for him, and she thinks i lied to her about how i actually felt. she doesn't trust me because i wore make-up to school once (yeah, no makeup or jewelry to school) its really frustrating. i'm not even allowed to go for a walk in the park, directly behind my house, with him, even if they can see me. i really want my freedom, i want to move out. thanks to my mom and sisters, i cringe at the word 'family' and dread spending more than an hour with them. i want to be closer to my mom, she is always looking for things to say she doesn't trust me, and she doesn't want me around any more than i want to be around, so why doesn't she just give me what i want. i haven't even rebelled, not even close, and she calls me a "shit child" i go to bed some nights listening to my mom talk about me, and its never good things she has to say. i love her dearly, i just wish she would loosen up!
Name: Sonia
Country: USA
 i just found out i'm not the only one stuck in a cage like dis. iam 15...going on to be 16. i'm letting my parents rule over every aspect of my life now because i'm trying to be patient. i have this faith that when i'm 18...they'll atleast give me the freedom that a normal 15 yr old is suppose to have. i'm listening to these 12 yr olds going to the movies, the mall, and their friends house. and here iam leading a 6yr old life. i get depressed a lot and i cry a lot b/c of my parents' overprotectiveness, but then i have this optimistic view that when i'm 18..they will loosen up a little bit. i tried to talking to them...but they tell me to go away. iam sooo afraid of my parents! i tried talking to them, but i'm gonna let them rule over me now. i understand they do this out of love, but it is actually torturing me. like right now, i seriously feel like throwing up. the last movie i saw was casper..and its killing me. they could do all they want now...but i will stand up 4 myself when the time comes. but any advice 4 me?????????
Name: Sonia
Country: USA
 eventhough i have a problem and cant help myself...but waiting till iam 18...heres an advice for all of you. when you talk to your parents, dont blame them for not giving you the freedom you want..because that ticks them off more. instead start a conversation like..."mom, dad...could you please hear me out. i dont wanna make u mad...but i really wanna tell you how i feel..and i'm suffering greatly". they will listen to u if u dont come to "blows" with them. and for those of you who are allowed to go out..but are complaining about the littlest things u're not allowed to do...dont complain.you should be happy they letting you go out. you need to start appreciating and think of the kids that have no freedom at all.
Name: Dan Johnson
Country: India
 faggots
Name: stellar
Country: France
 sometimes not only parents are overprotective also older brothers.my brother wont allow me to decide on my own and it really is hurting me,im 20 years old but they still treat me like a little kid.it really sucks to think that i should get alife when....
Name: jen
Country: Hongkong
 where i live, people my age go out a lot and it depresses me to know that i cant do what all the other kids do. im not allowed to go out with friends, buy parental guidance cds or go to sleepovers.(which basically means i cant go anywhere myself). im also not allowed to talk on the phone after 11pm or my parents get very mad. one of the things my mom has been on about a lot lately are boys. i have a few good guy friends but my parents dont think u can ever be just friends with a guy. now everytime im chatting with someone on instant messenger or the phone my mom has to ask who it is. becuase i always talk to my girlfriends i tell her it is and she doesnt believe me and acts cynical to hint that im lying. thats just so annoying but i have to deal with it. i dont no when i can go out because they wont tell me. i've tried talking to them about it but they dont admit to being overprotective and ignore my feelings. instead they lecture me back on what teenage girls should and shouldn't do. as if i cant think for myself and dont have any moral judgement at all. im hanging in anyways i just wanna keep the peace round the house so im not talking to them about it peace and love to y'all out there who are under life sentence of our parents
Name: Casey
Country: USA
 my parents are very overprotective. i am 15 yrs. old & my b-friend is 16. they wont let us go into my room with the door open. i can only see him on the weekends, which is usually 1 day. they are now monitoring my music, i cant listen to anything that has the f word in it or anything that has to do with sex.i havent done anything to lose their trust. i dont smoke, drink, have sex, or do drugs. i always do what they tell me to do, and i dont talk back. they dont like my boyfriend and i dont know why. he quit school, but thats all hes done. hes never hit me or disrespected me in any way. he doesnt touch me in any sexual way.we hold hands and kiss but thats it. they like freak out because we were laying down on my bed watching t.v. its not like we are going to do anything with them in the house. even with them gone we wouldnt do anything. today was our 3rd month anneversary, so we arent gonna go that far anyway. if you have any advice or anything please post it. thanks
Name: Ashley
Country: USA
 it was nice to read all these stories and realize that i am not the only one with an overprotective mom. she is a psycho! i can not leave my house on the weekends if i dont tell her by 8:30 where i am going. my brother has never had to follow this rule... he is 1 1/2 years older than me with a 1am curfew, and he has a girlfriend who's house he sleeps at (with permission!!!) so anyway, last night my mom told me that i had to tell her what i was doing by 10. when i told her at 9:45, she refused to let me leave and proceeded to scream at me, call me selfish, tell me that she doesn't care about me etc etc and so forth. i can not stand that she won't let me make my own decisions. i really am good compared to the other 16 and 17 year olds that i know...i am very involved in school and i keep my grades up and responsibilites around the house. still, she flips on me randomly for no reason. i can't live like this anymore! sorry to all you who are going through the same stuff~
Name: JAEP
Country: USA
 you wanna talk about overprotective parents? all these 15 yr old kids writing their stories on here, and yeah it sucks when your that age, but you are still kids. listen to my story. i'm almost 21 years old here, and yeah i still live with my parents, and they are still too overprotective. i still have a damn curfew, and when i do something that upsets them they take away my car or cell phone like i'm 16 or something. they still don't like me spending the night at friends houses, and they don't let me stay at my boyfriends house. i know they're worried, but come on, give me a break here i am old enough. if i had the money i'd move out and i would be fine. i ccan take care of myself. i don't need my parents to tell me what i can and can't do anymore. i have a reason to complain, but all you other kids don't need to be complaining so much.
Name: deathstar
Country: Other
 i like to cut myself. feels much better after that
Name: dying of opression........
Country: Australia
 y mum wont let me shave my legs. this mightn't be a prob 2 ne1, they probably havent even thought about it.... well im not allowed to. i asked my mum why? she says im 2 young, im 15 years old!!! (in 3 months) my very overprotective parents.... listen 2 this, i go 2 skool in the city, thats where my skool is, its 1 hour away from where i live. why do i go there????? its a skool for gifted girls. smart girls. now its the holidays. naturally you wanna meet up with your friends, yeh? same here. so we all decide to meet up in the city (cuz we go there every single day) and we decide to see a movie. i ask my parents if i can go. they say no. they think i'll die, get attacked. get raped or sumthing like that! (we're all intelligent girls and know our way around) i know this stuff happens, and its natural for them to feel this way but its killing me that i go to the city every single day for skool, and they wont let me go once on the holidays just to see a movie with my friends. and all u ppl complaining about u can't go to ur boyfriends house etc, well listen up i go to a girls skool, im not allowed to talk to guys, let alone have any guy friends. got that, im not allowed to be friends with any guys. so that means bye bye dating idea, byebye boyfriend idea!
Name: Keri
Country: USA
 my parents are too protective. i'm 15, and they won't let me have a boyfriend, much less go to his house. they won't let me go out with friends. they won't let me wear makeup. they won't let me talk on the phone or instant message someone past 8:30. they won't let me color my hair. they won't let me do anything at all. sometimes i just want to leave. heck, i wanna leave right now.
Name: shan
Country: USA
 one day all of this will be so unimportant. be glad you have your parents and respect them. when you get older you will wish you had.
Name: betty
Country: England
 i am a lesbian and i haven't told my mum yet. what should i do?
Name: oiscout
Country: Canada
 my parents throw me down the stairs and dont let me eat..u guys have no problema
Name: priscilla
Country: USA
 i am 15 yrs old and i have'd had sex since i was 11 yrs old. i haven't came out pregnet and i want a babyknow . what could i do to have a baby.
Name: needhelprightnow
Country: USA
 i really want to go out to my gilriends house but my parents say they have to talk to her parents first what should i do? please contact me at erikn6511@msn.com as soon as possible!!
Name: jamie k.
Country: Southafrica
 my parents are so overprotective!!! agh!! but they let my brother do anything he wants!! it makes me sick!! they wont even let me date or go to a 7:00 movie with my friends and i'm 14!!!! i am so sic of it!!!! sometimes i wish they weren't my parents!!!! it makes me so mad and angry! i even think about running away but i dunno!! i'm a teenager i just wanna have some fun y cantthey ever understand that!!!! they had their chance to be a kid now let me be one! without all their boundries!!!!!
Name: Matt
Country: USA
 i'm 13(almost 14) nd my parents are really overprotective and its annoying
Name: Sean
Country: USA
 my girlfrien's mom is what you would think, overprotective. . . but the truth is she ant!!! my love rose, can barly ever see me because her mom never lets her leave. . . not with me any ways ~_~ rose is like 1 month from being 18 and she has no freedom with me till then. my mom and all of my family hate her mom (kim) i told rose when she is 18 she can move in with me and my mom. she is varry happy about that. i am 16 and im ingaged with my rose. . . ya, wow huh. . . me and her are going to make it in life and have a wonderful family together. but any ways, i have never met someone who can treat her first born girl like a slave. . . its all gunna be over soon babycakes ^_~ *mwah*
Name: kirachan3
Country: USA
 btw, send sugestions to queen_victoria_2@yahoo.com thanks!
Name: kirachan3
Country: USA
 im 17, my mom is super overprotective, i even wrote an essay about her for my english class this past semester, "mothers and sushi", (if she ever saw it i would be deadmeat) i have had a steady b/f for just under a year, it will be a year in 2 weeks. she freaks out over everything, when i first started going out with my b/f even my dad agreed that we should not tell her (she found out anyway) and everytime im gonna go anywhere with him i have to have at least one other girl there with me and/or parents she trusts (a very short list).then she gives me the "i trust you" talk all the time, just proving that she does not trust me. she also keeps pushing me to get in the top 10% and to grow up and be an engener or teacher, i don't care about my rank(that much anyway), and i wanna open an anime store with my friends after we get out of collage.she expects me to make strait a's, i am just an ordinary student, not a prodegy, see? i can't even spell right. i wish she would let me live my own life a little, she does not even let me watch the simsons!!! i moniter everything i and my siblings tell her and show her to keep her from blowing her top. she is driving me and by b/f absolutly insane, he hates her guts becase she is very often rude to other people. any sugesstions would be very helpful.
Name: flower
Country: USA
 i'm also 22. i grew up with an overprotective mother, and a kinda balanced dad. sometimes, i really think i wouldnt have survived my childhood if it wasnt for my dad. he listened. my mother never did. she calls herself a "yelling fearful mother" like she's proud of it. you see, my mother has these irrational fears about everything from riding in planes, to driving on highways, to people of other races, to nighttime darkness, to living in an apartment, to being a girl alone (in teh dark, in the day, at the store, in school... there could be a rapist around that tree over there! of coures, we dont talk about the rapist, because in our culture thats sooo wrong and shameful), etc. she's scared of everything and so she feels that we should also fear these things. when we dont, she blames us for being risktakers that dont care about our mothers blood pressure, etc. altogether, these somewhat-founded, but highly exaggerated fears have been this cornerstone to her parenting style. fear, protectiveness, guilt, and then more guilt. i'm a graduate of psychology, and i can see how my siblings and i have been deterimentally affected by this overprotectiveness. she loves us, i know, but the guilt trips are ridiculous! i went through severe depression at one point because of my easy disposition to guilty feelings. i used to rebel when i was a teenager, and just do whatever i wanted. i faced the music later when i came home, but would repeat the cycle when it was all over. but now that i'm a college grad, and making my own money, i still cant help but feel like my mother will disown me for the littlest thing (believe me, her fears dont stop me from doing "wrong" by her definition... i drive fast, live proud, have a steady boyf, all that). i guess my strategy is to just not inform her of anythign that could signal an argument or irrationality from her. i.e. i tell her what she wants to hear, and leave out what she'll spazz out about. i value honesty, and a lot of times, i'll tell her after the fact about my plane trip to my friends house, or my road trip with my buddies, or the fact that i'm dating someone who's not our race or religion, etc. and then, she has the satisfaction that her baby is ok and breathing.. and i have the satisfaction that she didnt yell at me for two days and stress about it. the boyfriend thing though, thats stressful. i've told her, but she still pretends she doesnt know...and its to the point that i'm worried she's going to have a son in law that she's been in denial about for years! for the teenagers in this crowd, relax. talk calmly so your parents can see you as an adult (even if you still dont want to be one exactly, i know i didnt!). be honest, whether they like it or not. and stick to your own values. make it clear to your parents if your values are different from theirs. i totally empathize with you all. tough it out. its only a few years. get a good education, make some money, get your own place... it will be over soon. :)
Name: Alyssa
Country: Netherlands
 well, i have this friend. really, it's not me, my mom is wonderful. but her parents are being horrible right now. they check her e-mails and im conversations after she's done. they threatened to send her and her brother to boarding school if they continued to "act up." when we got out from school, her mother told her that it had been living hell these last weeks with her at home all the time. and as the last straw, they decided that if she continues to be 'disrespectful', they're going to put a camera in her room to moniter her. they want to make sure she's not talking about them or doing anyting inappropriate. now i know my friend, she's a good person. i just don't understand why her parents would do this. they're nice people too! this is really frustrating for me and her.
Name: frustrated
Country: USA
 hi. my friend and i are in 6th grade and her mom is so protective of her! my mom isn't protective at all. i wish her mom would let her do more things. sometimes my friend gets mad at me because i can't believe that her mom is so protective. her mom won't even let her go outside in her frontyard by herself. she hates it too, but she has tried so much to get her mom to trust her that she finally gave up. but her parents are divorced, she doesn't live with her dad, she has a cool stepdad, a real brother, a stepsister and a deaf stepbrother. most of the time she is happy, but whenever it comes to the point where her mom won't let her do something the dreary tart to appear. hopefully her mom will start to let go to her youngest little girl. please!,she is my best friend and we can hardly do anything.
Name: Amara
Country: Canada
 i was reading in a mag article that most overprotective parents don't consider themselves overprotective. i'm 15, 16 in two months. guess what my issue is? {car} its the youth accident thing that has them wound up. i consider myself an extremely fair teenager. i can make my own descisions, which involve a lot of school, when i go out, when i come back, who i see. oh, and by the way, i've figured out that when most parents say "i trust you, its the people that you see that i don't trust..." they dont know what there saying. you cant say both of them, they go against eachother. by not trusting your friends/people you see, they don't trust your descision{and thus you} to see them. note to any parent seeing this: as for grade expectations, most students dont try, thus do not exceed to their best potential. you must not expect straight a's out them, or them to become the next nobel piece prize winner. recognize thier strentghs and build on them, help them to the career that will not only suit them best, but will make them happy. that's what you want, right?{i read that in the mag, i thought it be useful info} copy/paste this and print it out. show to parents. tell them whats bothering u. the problem of overprotective parents is one of the toughest which young people have to face. unfortunately, some parents do not know how to express love in positive ways. their concern for the child's welfare and desire to be "good parents" may cause them to stifle the child's growth. this kind of parenting has rightly been called "smother love." in healthy families, parents allow for a gradual progression of increasing independence. discipline, rules, standards and expectations are applied in direct ratio to age. in younger years children need a great deal of guidance and control in order to prevent serious and harmful mistakes from being made. but as they grow in maturity and experience, they are capable of making more choices for themselves. they can begin to deal with the consequences of their mistakes. the parent who tries to protect the child totally from this process does the young person no favor. "smother love" produces emotional cripples, persons incapable of making decisions and exercising responsibility. a parent who gives the child an appropriate range of freedom and encourages the process of independence is saying, "i trust you, i believe in you, i want you to be your best self. and i am always here to help if you need me." parents who are unable to do this may make it impossible for their children ever to feel genuine affection or appreciation for them. that is a tragic experience for both the parents and the young person. young people have a right to be heard, but there are effective ways to go about making points and there are ways which are counterproductive. young people who are experiencing "smother love" should study their parents and try to understand their attitudes and motives. they should keep the lines of communication open and try to identify the influences which may cause parents to be uptight about some of their choices. the young person needs to find ways to reassure parents, either by showing them they are mistaken in their evaluation or by being patient and waiting for a more effective time to pursue the subject. it is important to be willing to accept realistic restrictions. cooperation in one area could win concessions in more important things. in some cases, when even a mature attitude and patient cooperation are not enough to change a parent's attitude, it can help to have the input of a third person. sometimes a relative, family friend, or another parent whose opinion the parents respect can influence and help the situation. if there are seminars on parent/teen relationships offered in the community, perhaps through a school or church, the young person should try to get the parents to participate in them. a minister or youth director could be asked to plan the kind of dialogue situation where parents can be exposed to the ideas and values of other families. personal counseling can also help both sides to ventilate feelings and cope with frustrations. a minister, youth worker, or community agency would be a good resource for that kind of help. just tell ur parents whats bothering you, see if you can works something out. keep in mind your age counts. tip:work out a plan that can agree to. {i.e.: "how bout my curfews 10 now, but in two years from now, it will be 11, or 12{pends on ur age}. this can work with something other than curfews, use the mind god gave you, its just one of the first problems in your life you will have to solve. ta ta for now...
Name: amanda
Country: USA
 you think you got it bad. im 16. i cant go to anyones house unless they're parents will be home, and mom has talked to the parents. i cant go to the mall or movies or anywhere cuz "the rapists will get me" i cant do anything without adult supervision. i cant walk down the street with my friends, i cant even go outside in my backyard. no kidding. i can not go in my backyard w/o supervision because the rapists will get me. im 16!!!
Name: Amara
Country: Canada
 other tip for that working out a plan thing: get it in writing!!!!!!!dont be afraid to hold it to them, if they said by the time ur 16,and ur curfews 11:00, and when ur 16, they say they never said that{they just had a memory lapse} u can prove that they did. mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha...
Name: ally
Country: USA
 my sister told my parents that i took a beer from the frig with a friend. i talked to them and tols them that we didnt drink it but were just curious. now they will let me do things but only with certain people and my sister used to take me out to parties and places but know i don know if she will or if she trusts me anymore! if you havesome good advice plaese share it with me
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