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Confident Child Topics..

You are here : home > Confident Child > Building Confidence > Building Self-confidence

Building Self-confidence

Building Self-confidence

A confident child is an asset to the nation . A child who is confident has good thinking power. Few tips to make your child confident are given below.

What it means to be confident

Rahul Sheth, father of 5-year-old Ankush : "My son is a real chatterbox. He's always up to something - singing, dancing, acting…you'd think he's a born performer. But this is only at home. In school, they say he is a mouse and he keeps quiet in front of guests."

In all likelihood, Ankush's problem is a lack of confidence. When a person is confident, it means that he has faith in his own abilities and competence; he trusts his own judgement and is not worried about handling new situations; and he is aware of the fact that others value his abilities. This, in turn, makes him more open and outgoing, straightforward, trusting, trustworthy and reliable and determined and able to stick at things. 

Tips for building confidence in your child

The Dos

  • A little thing like establishing routine and making the home environment as predictable as possible goes a long way towards making your child feel secure. 
  • Gradually expose them to social situations. First, you could just play with them when others are around. Then encourage them to play with family, friends and other children his age. You could ask your child to recite the nursery rhyme he learnt in school that day or tell a story. He's bound to get a lot of encouragement and appreciation both from you and your friends. This will develop his social skills and he will not shy away from public situations. 
  • Remember to keep activities like watching television and playing computer games down to a minimum, as these activities do not foster the development of social behaviour like conversation, sharing and compromise. 
  • Make a list of the things your child is good at and of the things he likes to do. Ask your child to make a list too. Compare both the lists and if your child has left out something you have included, let him know that that's something else he's good at. If you don't have something on your child's list, may be you haven't being paying enough attention.
  • If you find this tedious or difficult to do, you could encourage your child to participate in extra-curricular activities like team sports, music lessons or art lessons. It's possible that he may find that he's got a talent for something. In addition, he will meet new people and learn a new skill.
  • Ask your child to help you. This will make him feel important and competent. For instance, if he is strong, you can ask him to help you carry groceries from the car.
  • If he is working on something new, give him plenty of support and make him feel that you're confident that he will succeed.
  • Last, but not least, give him plenty of encouragement.

The Don'ts

  • Do not question his competence and undermine his ability to do things for himself. If you're worried, keep an eye on him, but try not to interfere. 
  • Do not compare him to other children and find him wanting.
  • Confidence in your child's ability and competence does not necessarily mean that you should leave him to his own devices.

You may also be interested in:

Good Role Models
Building Character
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Manasa.2 years ago
"Self-confidence comes from a sense of competence. A confident child needs a positive and realistic perception of his or her abilities. This arises out of achievements, great and small. Your encouraging words can help develop this confidence, especially when you refer to your child's specific efforts or abilities.

It is very importnat to love your child, show encouragement in whatever he or she does, however big or small! Setting of realistic goals are very important so that practically things can be achieved. Also a happy enviornment at home and school helps build confidence in children.

Encouraging children to speak and be open about their feelings also helps in building confidence. Teachers trying to encourage children for debates, public speaking, group activities and extempos also helps. The IB curriculam focuses to bring out the best in the child and its planned in such a way that it develops the child holistically in all areas and inculcating empathy and character.
julie.10 years ago
i am austalian and live in indonesia with my family. it is a great help to have this kind of information availbale through the net,
thank you.
best regards
margaret.10 years ago
i'm from scotland,mychild is very academically clever,but lacks confidence socially.i found this site helpful,thanks.
Sue.10 years ago
hi, i'm a mother of a 5 year old boy is in kindergarten and is small for his age. at home he is outoing, active, but yet at school her is very unsure of himself, quiet and withdrawn. i am trying to find ways to boost his confidence in himself.
kumar.A.P.P.10 years ago
Theresa.10 years ago
hi, i'm a mother of a 9-year-old girl in grade 3. she is older and taller than most of the kids in her class because her birth date is oct. 10 and in nova scotia, the cut off date to start a grade is sept. 30. she is very active and outgoing at home, but at school, her teachers always say she is shy and very quiet. she is a very good student, but cries when she has to do an oral presentation in front of the class. how can i find ways to increase his self confidence so she can be more of a risk taker? thank you.
Just looking
Just looking.10 years ago
great information to pass but i noticed spelling errors and slang type words used and it does not pass the right message to the readers.
Winnipeg.10 years ago
i agree with many parts of the article. i have 4 children, ages, 2,4,6,& 9. i have had my two oldest (boys) in piano since the age of 4/5, and find this builds active learning skills as well as confidence. as part of a music program they interact with other children, and are expected to perform , which in turn helps develop their confidence. my oldest who has been in piano since the age of 5 has performed for large groups outside his music program, and as well is good at oral presentations.
another just looking
this information was very helpful but a little late. i wish i could a have received this information while i was pregnant so i would be able to know how and to do these steps in building my childrens confidence. i have two kids and my oldest is a boy. i always felt compelled to keep him close to me and protect him from other childrens harsh comments or any kid not wanting to share or give my son a turn. he is very shy and backwards. he is in school now and is doing great in his school work, but still says many times "i can't". this may be something he only does with me because the teachers say he is a wonderful student and never gives up and is always is trying. my daughter on the other hand is very out going but a little slow on learning. i'm not as worried with my daughter because i know that there is tutoring that can help her academics, but i am scared that it is too late for building my sons confidence. (i have a low self confidence and self esteem also) did my son get this from watching me and seeing me back away from situations?
Like to know more
Like to know more.10 years ago
this is very good information. i want nothing more for my 5 year old son to have the confidence that he is smart. cause he truely is. he outdoes most of the other kids his age, but he is very shy. i would like to have more information on this subject, could you tell me where to go internet
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