Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Hi friends,

I am married past 5 years and no kid. Trying since long but no result yet.

My husband has low sperm count.I have undergone all the tests and as per the report I don' t have any problem.

But my main problem is I get angry very soon and get tensed for small reasons. I think I am also suffering from inferiority complex. That is may be due to how I brought up and my surroundings.

Please anybody suggest me how to overcome this?
I am really frustrated. Please help

Thanks in advance,
VS

madhuri replied. hi VS

to overcome inferiority complex read good books. read \" you can heal you life\" by Louis Hey.
it will definitely help you. it is not the problems outsite that bother us it is out brain that bothers us. I am going through this book and trying to change myself. ofcourse it is not simple but human beings are the only ones blessed with the ability to change. VS replied. Dear Rati,

As you mentioned about IVF-ICSI, I have undergone that also 2 attempts of ICSI. But no success.

Now I am feeling like adoption is the only solution for my problem.

But my mind is not still clear about adoption.

If you don´ t mind, u can also share ur feelings with me.

Thnaks & Regards,
VS VS replied. Dear Rati,

I was wondering I am alone the person suffering like this in the world. But ur words made me think diffrently. I will surely try for job. But its already 3 years me without working. I am BE graduate. Idon' t know wether I will get job or not. I have to work.

Since, my hubby suffering from low sperm count, he may think like if I go to work and become independant financially, I will ignore him.

But I can' t suffer like this any more.
Thanks dear for ur words. Keep mailing.

Take care.
VS VS replied. Dear all,

Thankyou very much for ur valuable suggestions.

We are staying with my inlaws. Eventhough both worked as school teachers, they will descriminate between boys and girls.

I am treated like a typical bahu manner. This is common I know. But in my parent' s house it is not like that. So I cannot tolerate this descrimination.

Now the home has become a hell for me. No freedom. They will be just searching, what I will do wrong and they get chance to scold. My father in law, however I cook, finds some thing wrong in that. Now a days I feel very much worried to cook.

U people have become my best friends, why I am telling is, only with best friends we can share our problems.

Hope u will also treat me as ur best friend.

Cheers,
VS Bindu replied. Akshaya is absolutely right - you need to find diversion. I am also TTC for 1.5 years now and went for my second IUI (keeping my fingers crossed). I also have a very short fuse and took it out on my dh a lot. Then I started realizing that not only am I hurting myself but also my dh whom I love so much. I am not the only one suffering - he is too and supporting me as well. Why would I hurt the person I love by my bahviour ? Ask yourself that.
I started to find things to do. It took a while to find what I like. I have been working so that takes a chunk out of my time, then I started to scrap book, garden, make arts & crafts to make my house nice, exercise, volunteer at an animal shelter. All these activities bought a new sense of calmness to me. No activity is small, so find yours. It will restore your confidence in your self also. Nobody is going to help you other than yourself and many of us have gone through what you are feeling right now so you are not alone.
Have Faith and Good Luck Rati replied. Dear VS,
A very good suggestion is given by Akshaya to join some hobby class .U can take my own case as an example .I got married moved to another city & had to leave the job bcoz of city change .Tried for baby but was unsucessfull & went into depression & bcame very moody & irritating .Then somehow gathered strenght from inside & took up a job .Started forgetting my problems made some vry good friends at work + growth in job helped me overcome my lost confidence & self esteem .Gained all strength from inside & now i am all set for my first IVF in few days (after 9 yrs of marriage).Dear i can understnd ur problem gone through the same but rem. there is no problem which does not have a solution .Find a solution & go ahead .If u r not working start a job or some part time work & sideby side go ahead with the treatment also .Be bold & cheer up if i cld overcome my prob. surely u can .
May god bless u
Rati Akshaya replied. Why dont you go for meditation classes or some other classes like glass painting, car driving, crafts, etc .. whichever is of your interest. Just try to divert your mind and keep yourself occupied with some or other work. This might help you to relax yourself. Am also in the same boat.. trying to conceive since 2 years... Pray to God. He is the only source of HOPE. Rati replied. Dear VS,
To overcome the complex which u think u are having u have to gain strength from inside .First of all stop thinking that u r inferior to others concentrate on ur strenghts .Once u r able to overcome ur complex u can to a large extent overcome the anger also which i think is the result of this complex.U cannot better urself if u do not have strenght within urself .
As regarding the conceiving thing , low sperm count problem u can overcome by IVF-ICSI treatment .See a good infertility specialist in ur city & go ahead with the treatment u will surely conceive .
All the best .