Hi,

Posting this here since this topic has the most number of entries..

I will be returning to work when my baby turns 10 months. I am wondering whether I should try a maid at home for my kid or send her to day care.
Please share your experiences.
I will be in Chennai, so if there are Chennai moms who know of day cares, please share details.

Thanks a lot!

newmom replied. visit the Nurseries and Schools board and post your query there. you will find more suggestions or may be you will find a good daycare or creche in chennai. R replied. Sorry long reply but i hope it helps and thats wht we all are here for!

Pls use these suggestions and use at your own discretion.

You will actually hv to try out the options betn maid and creche and select what suits you best. U need to consider lot of aspects including work timings for parents, exceptional scenarios, emergency handling, distance of office from home, cooking meals before/after office, kids' holidays, etc.

We are a grp of 3 friends in my appts with 2 kids each. While 2 of us use maids the third finds creche better.

i m trying to list advantages and disavd for both options that i cn remember right now. I m assuming u r a nuclear family.

Creche (remowned,trusted and good quality):
-some really good creches hv come up these days, they tk good care, are hyginic and provide good food.
-u can b sure baby is getting food and cleaned up at right times
-baby can play with other babies
-no dependency on maid and risk of her going on leave
-u can call up and talk, they can dial u up if needed. they are all literate ppl.
-they hv risk management and emergency handling plans ready. Eg if baby has fever, the creche manager calls u up and can give medicine prescribed by your doc meanwhile
- though they hv maids to handle babies, still at the end of it, baby is surrounded by well-educated ppl and babies from families like us. As the baby grows and learns more, u know he is not surrounded by illiterate item numbers so learns good things/talks!
- some creches pick kids from school and drop home. some creches are 24X7

- No personal attention to baby/no personal bonding so baby MIGHT miss the emotional bonding (a maid can give hugs to baby but depends on creche ppl)
- creche time limits: u are bound by chreche timings, need to hv options if u r staying late in office
- tired mom after office needs to do housechores and look after baby too
- fear of infection from other kids
- even if baby is little unwell (means u dont want to send out of house), then u need to take off
- u cant take daily updates from creche, cant suggest maids their to try/teach things to baby.
-creche workers keep changing, maid is constant

Maid (full time, little educated/illeterate)
- try ensure a good maid who shall stay for long term (>1 yr)
-a good maid has emotional bonding with baby, so takes good care. Good for baby too, who misses mom otherwise
- such maid ensures proper feeds and hygine
- maid can cook so working mother spends time with baby
- maid can finish other housechores while baby plays/sleeps
- is a help when u hv guests
- u cn leave baby with maid and go out with hubby for a walk/romantic dinner/movie ;-)
- baby gets fresh homemade food, u can try diff recipes by teaching the maid
- good maid is mother-like
- u can make 10 ph calls in a day for frequent updates and instructions

- emergency handling and risk factors: less/no education carries risk of medicine she gives to baby if baby has sudden fever or something like that. Though this can be trained, m jsut including it. There can be times when baby needs to be given 2-3 diff meds at diff times.
-she cant probably make ph calls to u, cant handle panic situations
- some maids hv bad habits like paan/tobacco/masala. Some though hv social hygine due to our pressure but lack personal hygine
- risk of trust: if maid is little good, u dont know whats going behind u
- they fall in love with someone and use your resources and ignore child. This happens MOST times. Many times, even if maid is basically good, the affair makes them ignore child.
- god forbit, but if ur maid is bad, it can go to extremes. So need to be v v v v careful. Some Maids are extremely smart, u wont even know a bit.

Read some experiences and good ideas abt maids shared by working mothers from this recent post (pick the useful info and ignore the crap from the msgs!) (remove brackets and paste in new browser the link)
http(:)//www(.)indiaparenting(.)com/boards/showmessage(.)cgi?messageid=1075&table_name=dis_milestones

In my appts most couples are working and nuclear families. Majority hv kept maids but a good number use Creches.

I dont mean to say maids are better. Please use ur own decision to select betn maid and creche.
In my personal experience, few maids (young females from agencies) i hv seen were really as good as expected. More importantly and sadly, i hv seen mothers trusting the maids blindly and not bothering to cross check, leading to undesired incidents.

My friend who has been using maids since 10 yrs for her kids always repeats her golden rule : these females are basically hungry for food/ clothings/accessories/entertainment. Give them same food that we eat, and enough food, even a glass of milk at times, give them good clothes/cosmetics/accesories/etc at times, set their time for watching TV dont refuse, respect and love them and they will b good to u.

Chennai mothers - pls send our friend info abt good creches and maid sources.

Let me know if this helps.
R