Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

Name: Swapna

When I turned 13 I had a birthday party, and since I was born in July it was a swimming party. My mom took me bathing suit shopping and I got my first bikini. I was just starting to get my womanly body maybe about a year before. I of course didn?t think anything of this. I always wore two piece bathing suits and I didn?t consider this one any more sexual or revealing because I wasn?t fully aware of what having boobs meant. Shortly before the party started I took off my top and was just wearing my swimsuit and some sort of sarong around my waist. My dad threw a fit and started yelling at my mom. First he yelled at me and asked me what?s wrong with me and I need to cover up. Then he started yelling at my mom about how ?this is why he wanted to have boys?. I told him no I don?t want to cover up because it?s hot and I?m going to go swimming once my friends get there. I don?t remember how it ended but he was just being angry. Now, I consider my dad to be a reasonable person now, but when I look back I remember things like this. This was more than 13 years ago and I don?t think he realized just how much that upset me. He was obviously uncomfortable with my new body for some reason and I didn?t realize it at the time. It upsets me to think about even to this day. I always helped my dad with housework, things that are considered ?mans work?. He taught me how to lay tile and grout, how to hang drywall and spackel, how to lay down roofing, and all the basics about how to use power tools. I?m very happy that I know these valuable skills today, but that statement made me feel like I wasn?t good enough for a while. As a young teenager I felt like I wasn?t good enough. I did all of the ?boy? things that a dad would want in a son and it wasn?t enough. He was mad at me for something I couldn?t control. Or at least that?s how I felt. So to answer your question, yes some dads do feel uncomfortable. It?s incredibly stupid. My dad should?ve just kept his mouth shut and not made that stupid statement in front of me. He didn?t realize how much of an effect it would have on me, and maybe one day I?ll get around to telling him. If you?re a dad and your daughter starts to grow breasts, just ignore it! I don?t see why it should make anybody uncomfortable.

Subscribe to this conversation Reply Anonymously