Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

What common mistakes do parents make? Malti replied. Trophy kids. My mom is in a WhatsApp group with some of her high school friends. She likes to show me the chats sometimes. The group has quite a few posts about the accomplishments of their kids. One post was genuinely impressive. The kid is apparently representing his state in a national robotics contest organized by LEGO. But the rest, well they were fine but they were kinda? I don?t know ? tasteless. These parents were showing off these kids accomplishments as if they won them instead. And they did it surprisingly often, and for relatively small scale achievements. On the surface that doesn?t seem too bad, but I think it encompasses something deeper. At graduation this year, I won an award. It wasn?t valedictorian, but something similar. ?The All Round Best Student? award is what it was called. They tell me grades, teacher interactions, extracurriculars and most importantly character was used to determine the winner. Keep in mind, my HS class is EXTREMELY small, so it?s not exactly a huge achievement. I was kinda happy to win it. But then my mom came in. Obviously, my mom posted that, even though I expressly disapproved. It was embarrassing. But far more painful than the embarrassment, was the distance between us. She never really said congratulations and I can?t remember the last time she genuinely said she was proud of me. Whenever I bring something up she always says the only reason I got is was because of ?God?s plan?. Everything, my college acceptances, grades, awards ? literally everything. I get no credit. Yet when it comes time to brag, she does it without hesitation. I wonder if any of the other kids whose parents are on the group feel this way. I feel like an object. I feel like a lot of parents, usually unwittingly, use their kids to boost their own self esteem/social standing while forgetting that their kid needs some encouragement too. I?m not a trophy. I?m a person and I just want to hear the words ?I?m proud of you?, sincerely, when we?re alone. I?m more than my resume, my CV, my grades and my awards. I?m not a trophy. Arushi replied. My daughter : Dad I don't know how to operate ATM card. Tell brother to give the money. My husband :, Don't worry dear. I'll tell him to give you money whenever needed. Me : Why don't you teach her how to operate ATM card. She should be independent by now. Every time her brother will not be available. My husband : No problem. As long as we three are there she should not worry. For one full year she didn't know banking related issues. But now she has to learn as her brother is going abroad for higher studies. This is what we parents do. Over protect the kids and then make them suffer in real world.