Developmental Concerns: kid says you embarrass them
2018-11-26
Name: Malti
What do you do when your kid says you embarrass them?
Subscribe to this conversation
Reply Anonymously
What do you do when your kid says you embarrass them?
Samay replied. My 11-year-old son wanted to speak to me about something important a few nights ago. He waited until his little brother was asleep, then crept into my room.
?Mummy? Can I talk to you??
?Sure, Sweetheart,? I said, pushing my work away.
?I've been thinking, and... Sometimes when my friends are around, I feel a bit weird when I call you ?Mummy'. Would it be okay if I call you ?Mum' instead??
I smiled. ?Of course it is, Sweetie. We've talked about this before - and, remember, you always used to call me ?Mum'. You can call me whatever you're comfortable with.? I paused a moment to let that settle, and then added, ?Just don't call me late for dinner.?
(Because when you're a single parent, you've got to do the Dad Jokes as well.)
My son gave me a hug and prepared to go, then caught himself. ?Actually... There's something else.?
?Mmmm??
?When we're shopping and you start singing and dancing in the aisles, it makes me feel a bit embarrassed to be with you. Not all the time!? he added in a rush, trying not to hurt my feelings. ?Just sometimes.?
I gave him a huge grin and offered him my hand for a high five. ?Awesome!? I said excitedly. ?Congratulations on getting so much more grown up! I'm so proud of you! Being embarrassed by your parents is a great sign of impending teenage-ness.?
His eyes lit up and he high-fived me. ?Does that mean you'll stop??
I laughed and answered in the same excited tone. ?Absolutely not.?
He gave me a confused look.
?In a few years time, when you're all the way grown up, you'll look back and be happy that you have a mother who never stopped being herself, no matter what.? I dropped my voice to a conspiratorial whisper. ?But for right now, it's okay if you take a few steps away from me when I'm being embarrassing. Okay??
He laughed, nodded his agreement, and went back to bed.
What do I do? I do the same thing I do when my children tell me anything.
I listen.
I validate their feelings.
I congratulate them on expressing their feelings in an appropriate way.
I explain my feelings/perspective.
I tell them how (or if) things will change.
And, somewhere in that process, I make a lame joke - because laughter makes the world go round.
2018-11-26
#1
Name: Samay Subject: kid says you embarrass them
My 11-year-old son wanted to speak to me about something important a few nights ago. He waited until his little brother was asleep, then crept into my room.
?Mummy? Can I talk to you??
?Sure, Sweetheart,? I said, pushing my work away.
?I've been thinking, and... Sometimes when my friends are around, I feel a bit weird when I call you ?Mummy'. Would it be okay if I call you ?Mum' instead??
I smiled. ?Of course it is, Sweetie. We've talked about this before - and, remember, you always used to call me ?Mum'. You can call me whatever you're comfortable with.? I paused a moment to let that settle, and then added, ?Just don't call me late for dinner.?
(Because when you're a single parent, you've got to do the Dad Jokes as well.)
My son gave me a hug and prepared to go, then caught himself. ?Actually... There's something else.?
?Mmmm??
?When we're shopping and you start singing and dancing in the aisles, it makes me feel a bit embarrassed to be with you. Not all the time!? he added in a rush, trying not to hurt my feelings. ?Just sometimes.?
I gave him a huge grin and offered him my hand for a high five. ?Awesome!? I said excitedly. ?Congratulations on getting so much more grown up! I'm so proud of you! Being embarrassed by your parents is a great sign of impending teenage-ness.?
His eyes lit up and he high-fived me. ?Does that mean you'll stop??
I laughed and answered in the same excited tone. ?Absolutely not.?
He gave me a confused look.
?In a few years time, when you're all the way grown up, you'll look back and be happy that you have a mother who never stopped being herself, no matter what.? I dropped my voice to a conspiratorial whisper. ?But for right now, it's okay if you take a few steps away from me when I'm being embarrassing. Okay??
He laughed, nodded his agreement, and went back to bed.
What do I do? I do the same thing I do when my children tell me anything.
I listen.
I validate their feelings.
I congratulate them on expressing their feelings in an appropriate way.
I explain my feelings/perspective.
I tell them how (or if) things will change.
And, somewhere in that process, I make a lame joke - because laughter makes the world go round.
All tips on Parents of Preschoolers
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic : kid says you embarrass them
Subscribe to this conversation!
All tips on Parents of Preschoolers
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic : kid says you embarrass them
Subscribe to this conversation!
All tips on Parents of Preschoolers
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
since i have been training young kids for motor skills and fun fitness for a while i see that kids develop most of their sports movements then and as early as 4 years. parents need to be aware that forcing kids into sports at a very early age will not get them far, as they end up losing interest quickly. ... - Sunny Singh [View Message]
Apraxia of speech
Hi
My son was diagnosed with Apraxia of speech. Anyone pls suggest a good speech therapist who specialised in treating apraxia in hyderabad.
Pls suggest... - Mounika Potturi [View Message]
DuckDuckGo
Why should I use DuckDuckGo instead of Google?... - Swapna [View Message]
toys in the store
What should I do if my child won't stop screaming because I don't buy him some toys in the store?... - Samay [View Message]
childhood memories
Do you have any childhood memories that you didn?t understand until you were an adult (or teen)?... - Malti [View Message]
What is being taught
What is being taught to the children that is so harmful?... - Hetal [View Message]
children the second they?re born?
Do parents really love their children the second they?re born?... - Swapna [View Message]