Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

i want suggestions on managing a 4 yr old (girl) without punishing her for every other thing.

i hv just had another baby. Until the baby was born, i never spanked the elder kid. I always had time to explain her things, be patient, or give the right kind punishment if things went out of control.

since the baby has arrived, the elder one is behaving out of control. Not because of sibling rivalry though.
In fact, she is getting pampered and undisciplined.

I still try to explain her why/why not should she shd do certain things. I try it 3-4 times - first try to make her understand, then warn her, then scold her.

But all the times, she leaves me with no option than slapping/spanking her. I dont hv time/patience because of the younger one. For example - i hv explained her 100 times not to make noise in baby's room when baby is asleep. I have also showed it to her that if baby awakens, mumma has to look after baby and thus spends less time with you. She understands but still repeats.

Please suggest.
roopa aruna replied. hai roopa,
this is aruna.I have 2 kids.boy is 5yrs 2mnths and my daughter is 2yr 9mnths.They love each other very much and play well if they have no clashes.The problem comes only when they have differences.It will be very difficult for me to manage.I sometimes feel like hitting both of them which we generally donot do.I feel that I attend more my son than my daughter.But still he doesnot understand that at times.I try to tell him very frequently what is right and wrong.But he listens very patiently and back to square.But one thing is there he tries to help my daughter very much and take care of her very well.I just thought to share this to say that most of us have similar behaviours of our kids and we need to find our own way to handle.nice sharing with u all.

aruna roopa replied. i hv been doing these, except for the reading habit. As for the in-laws, well, better not speak about it :)

You are right and i too want my kid to have the reading habit.
I hv tried cultivating it, but dint work.
I know i havent tried enough, and that is because lack of time (i m a working person too).

Sigh. I guess its time for me to do more.

Thanks :) mother of 3 yr kid replied. Hi roopa,
though we dont have a second child i can understand the phase you are going through.sometimes even my kid behaves in same way and does not listen and leaving me with no other option than scolding/spanking. i feel some times these kind of kids need a slap. ofcourse not very often and before i have a kid i used to feel that slapping/spanking a kid is an offense but now i feel its all part of their brought up.dont worry if u slap ur kid rarely and i appreciate ur patience too. if u have naybody ta home to help u out? like parents inlaws etc? if so ask them to engage ur elder one. if she insists on ur presence then make the little one to sleep and spare ur time with elder one.or if ur little one is awake feed him and leave him/her with ur parents/inlaws and read stories or do what ever ur elder one expects from u.if nobody is there try to explain the things to elder one patiently(though its tough). make her sleep for 2hrs in afnoon along with new born and u also can take rest in that time. introduce the habit of reading in elder one. buy her new colorful books which suits her age. or ask her to watch Tv or other cartoon CDs only for an hr or two. . but dont make her to glue to it.hope this all works. and everything will be alright with ina few days. any phase never stays for a long time.all the best and share ur feelings in his site so u can get relief.all the best.