Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi,
i got married 4 months back and i was very innocent during the early days after my marriage.according to me i have do 2 biggest blunders.
First one is that in our custom after marriage the newly married husband and wife have to go to the girls parents house and stay for 1 day or so, my IL's are very orthodox and according to them event they had to come along with us after our marriage to my parents place, but since my parents are not at all orthodox they did not know this that my IL's should also be invited but my mom had told my MIL that we dont know any formality so if they have any they should let them know, but at that time my MIL did not say anything and so my parents invited my hubby to come along with me to my parents place after marriage, then my MIL told her loving son that my parents have not invited them, and then my hubby told me that i should call and ask my parents to invite them, I like a fool called up my parents and told them to invite them, i feel i did a big mistake asking my parents, to do that later my ILS did not come along with us since both were not well and only we 2 went to my parents place, so on our journey to my parents place my hubby told me that we would not stay since my parents did not invite his parents properly, and so even i tried to tell him but he did not listen, and i told him that i want to stay at any cost,

later once we reached my parents place i told my mom about our fight in the journey and mom was sad and she told dad even and then both dad and mom started convencing my hubby about whatever happened and i felt very bad that my parents were convencing him because i told

i feel i made my parents to act as my hubby's slave which i should not have done, can any one suggest me what i should i done so that i should not repeat the same mistake again J replied. Hi!

Please understand that you are married now & only a daughter in law & not a daugther. A DIL can only be a DIL & not a Daughter to the inlaws. Firstly why should you apologise to your husband?? How does it matter if your inlaws come or no?? Firstly if any such thing happens in future, remember, your parents had made it clear that they do not know about any formalities & your inlaws & your husband agreed on getting married inspite of knowing this fact. So, there is nothing that you & your parents have hidden. If they fail to let you parents know about any formalities whatsoever, it is their mistake & not yours. Please make this point clear to your husband as well. Whatever happened this time, just forget it. Going forward, once you get back to your in-laws place, just explain to them that your parents are not aware of any formalities whatsoever as it was made clear to them before your marriage & hence, tell them they they are requested to let you or your parents know in case anything needs to be done from your parents side. Please remember you need to be bold once you are married especially if you are staying with your inlaws. Are you working or a house wife?? Mar Mar ke kaam kabhi mat karna. This would be a biggest mistake as they will take you for granted. This is a sincere advise from my side and do not give much BHAAV to inlaws as well In bambaya language, inlaws ko kabhi bhi sar pe chadaakar nahi rakhna chahiye. Give respect, take respect. Remember this always in your life. In case you feel they are doing something wrong to you, speak to your husband about it. Explain to him your feelings. If he fails to understand, then talk to your parents.

Dont worry everything will be ok. Good luck & wish you a happy married life!!

Regards,
J.