Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,

I was married before 1year and 9 months ,we had a wonderful time for the first 9 months as both of us were working in the same company and we were staying alone ninth month i became pregnant and as per the doctors advise i have to leave my job and be in complete rest.i did so ,when i was 5 months carrying my hubby got a job in ~~ and we have to relocate, my family(mom dad expired) does not have a good financial background ,iwas not able to move to my parents place..doctor advised me not to travel but my inlwas and my hubby forced me...i cried for a weeks time ,tried convincing my hubby but no use, we moved and the next day i had a miscarriage,,ths was undigestable for me ... im still not able to come out of that shock and sorrow..my hubby who was loving me soo much..is not like as he was before to me this happened 6 months before... till noe my hubby is not spending time with me nit as he was before avoiding me and going with me out...always sits alone or goes out with his relatives who r treating me badly...our family is a orthodox family this miscarriage has caused lot of other problems also...my hubby and i are not in good terms nowadays ,,i will not blame him completely i may have also faults ...we are noe trying for a baby and that too is not happening...im very much depressed, i want my hubby back as he was bedore ....what should i do help please? sudha replied. dear rathi,
hope you have left for your vacation. enjoy life these are hurdles which is a kind of test ...test of endurance... see around you so many women is going through unexplained pain and then compare your position
may god bless you
sudha sudha replied. hi Rathi....
If u remember i also wrote to you in the loss and miscarriage section...well to what ever i am writting donot get me wrong and i would suggest you to analyse to waht i say.
men and women are wired differently to cope with anything be it loss or gain.just think in ur mind does he ever talks about the loss or refers...as \" our\" child..i went through the same thing my hubby after all this suddenlt stopped talking and after he came back from office would engage in netsurfing from 7 30 pm to 3 am ( do u think this is a normal behaviour)
after few weeks we had a heart heart talk... he said no one bothred about his feelings..it was only me me me and me...true..it was... he used to have nightmares of our Rishona ( i didnt see her but he saw her ) nobody asks him how is he...???? does it happened with ur hubby...???? men are like children ..u need to pull him to you and give him all the love and comfort.( show some physical sign of love..)may be hugging ...did u name ur child...?? we had long before she was born we had yhought a name and thus we call her Rishona...
Last and not the least donot plan another pregnency untill alls right between both of you and you fully come to term to the loss. i say this because anxiety coped with bickering of partner has adverse effects on foetus... be calm take care of urself...exercise mildly ..go for walks..take the vacation your husband wants.. who knows..he might want to unwind..in our society men are trained not to show their emotion... he is afraid that he may be rejected..may be by you...i would say go over to the vacation even we are planning a vacation in june kedar badri..and may be we will start trying after we return.Rathi i think we are all sisters who went through the same pain at 1 point of our pregnencies may be early ar later..just look at me i lost Rishona when i was due just after 5 or 6 weeks... pray and donot loose hope...and please read me carefully
take care
sudha
kk replied. HI rathi,
So sorry for your mishapp.Have faith in god,everything will work out good.I think your hubby too must be going through guilt pangs.after all he forced you to travel.you should sit and talk to him, share your feelings and listen to his.
good luck