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I am a mother of a 2.3 years old girl. My parents in law take care of her while I am away at work. I have taken the right kind of job after my daughter was born so that I spend good quality time with her. My in laws take good care of her, but they pamper her a lot. They dont let her play with other kids in the colony - even in the evenings they take her away from the kids and make her play alone. In the weekends when i try to make her mingle with the other kids, she plays, but not really with great interest. This is one side of it. Except for the lunch feed, I am at home for the other main feeds. So the time i am at home, all i do is to either feed her, bathe her, brush her teeth or do some work that she is not very fond of. As a result, she is not really enjoying my company. She enjoys my inlaw' s company more coz they just do what she likes to do, rather than what she is supposed to do. They care not much about her development as a whole, but just to spend time till i return - i should agree they love her a lot, but they dont understand the importance of doing certain things like allowing her to play with other kids, reading, coloring etc. So the time i am at home, i try to make her do all these. Now to my problem precise -
1) How do i make my kid like me more? i know ultimately its me, the mom.. but i want her to look forward to my arrival at home and want her to hug me when i am back. is it too early to expect all this and should i just wait for the day to come?
2) I have put her in the playgroup for the morning 3 hrs as I wanted her to stay away from her grandparents and also get used to other kids around. Is there anything else that I can do to make her come out of her world, which has only her grandparents? she is quite a shy child as a result and doesn' t speak too well too.
I am extremely worried - pls guide on what other things can be tried with her! thanks in advance ! Afriend replied.
As per ur prob. always rem. a child needs a child to play in the growing up years (that is why v suggest 2 kids instead of 1) and not grandparents .Grandparents tend to be overprotective with the kid & the child looses the childhood things like playing fighting etc.This overprotection can lead to a loss in independence bcoz they r always there 2 protect them .Fights with sibling -cousins ,friends ,playing games even getting hurt are part of growing up.Remember when a child falls he/she will c around if there is someone to help him to get up ,if nobody around will himself make an effort to get up .These little things make him independent .In case of grndparnts they will always come running to protect the child thus making him /her reliant .U cannot change these circumstances but with a little patience can achieve want u want .
Be relax she will be better once she starts mingling with other kids in the play school .Once she gets adjusted to the place & starts playing with other kids will slowly become independent .
Secondly at home when u are around just play with her like a child .Make her do things on her own -like eating food ,arranging her toys etc. U can play hide and seek or read stories to her
If u have any brother sister with kid of same age then encourage her to play with them.U can befriend ladies in ur society who have kids of her age & on weekends with u around can send her to their home or call kids at ur home for a game session .Even ur colleagues who have kids of same age group and who live nearby u can help her to make friends with them.Like this she will slowly come out of her shell and will remove her shyness also .
C u have to be patient with the kid do not overstress the child 2 much .
Take her to parks etc. where there are kids & help her play & mingle with them.
C every problem has a solution blaming ur self & blaming circumstances will not solve them .A little patience & effort can solve ur problem.As for ur in-laws this is the same story in evry house over -pampering of the kids .If u speak then this will explode into a big issue thus creating tensions for u only .Better keep that part aside and concentrate on how to make her independent .
All the best