Relationships  Discussion Forum

Do you feel like your life is one mad rush? Rushing to office and back, to your child's school, to drop a relative to the airport, to shop for groceries... Phew! Being a working mother is not easy. How do you find a balance? sumedha replied. plsssssssssssssssss reply to the above msg
can nybody advice me .
thanks
sumedha replied. pls reply...
pls advice sumedha replied. Pls advice.
I am a mother of 4 years old son and I am working woman. I usually left home by 9 in morning and reach by 8 in evening.
I usually get quality time with my son on Sundays/holidays. But then as i reach home by 8 eve, I realy work hard to finish the work and food by 10 or 10:30 to make love with my son coz i love him very much after my husband.
Now the problems comes out that I am financially weak since last 2- 3 years. Our was a love marriage and i m hindu and husband is muslim. Then how i managed first 2 years very lovingly. Last 2 years back my husband is not earning that much to make some expenses lighter for me. But anyhow i m managing my son school fees, home loan, electricity bill and moreover i m also fulfilling my son’s desires also. Not even a single 100 rs he have spent for me and my kid for the last 1 year. I had fights between us and sometimes i got frustrated and said i should divorce him. Might be this scenario make closer to her mother. Coz i harder get a quality time with my husband. I want to discuss all the financial matters and i kept the diary for that, but again he didn’t sit properly, he just keep working on his laptop and says “yes yes main sun raha hun , tum bolo” even though he knows m handling all the finances.
And My mother in law treats my husband as her husband and my kid too as her child. i know she is her grandmother coz i am not all the time at home to take care of my child except Sundays/ holidays.
My husband even goes for a walk or local market, he take MIL, Morning tea with MIL, last the dinner also with MIL in her room. Sometimes he got late by 9 in the evening from some usual work, he lay down at MIL room in the same comforter. He often lay down on her bed the way he lay down in our room. I just often feel bad when he sits in unmannered way. ( means - u r now grown up, body parts are also mature ). Means i also not sit like that in MIL room.
My MIL , husband my son are going for marriage out of station. I m not happy they r taking my kid to out of station. After many discussions i allowed to go , even though they none have asked me to take my child to 1000 kms .(let it be). In general , i packed all the clothes and medicines of my kid in a bag and guide my husband for all the belongings for his ease. But then BIL came a day before and again packed my sons clothes and socks and all other in some other way. ( BIL lives separate).chalo thats OK. As i reached home i asked husband, i kept medicine pouch, he told me “pata nhi idhar hi hoga”. “ means i felt am i not good mother to pack all the things for my son. I general asked my husband to cut the hair so that he look good. Again he asked MIL “mummy kabir ke bal katwadun” in front of me. And i felt so bad and felt i have no value as a mother of my child. Means small things he asked MIL to do in front of me n i feel am i his wife or my MIL.
Moreover my son is also attached to my MIL. Nothing like that my son doesn’t loves me, he get affectionate in night and asked me to tell stories “ mamma story sunao”. In Last 1 week my son is not sleeping with me . he usually get cozy with my husband. N i don’t know i hated this thing , why he is more attached with his father. Is my working making me far from my son. I am really possessive about my son, his name is Kabir. I really love him so much. N now i realy hate my MIL very much .i think my son is not in my hands and i really think i should get divorce from my husband and leave him. The reason behind is that he is not giving any maintenance to lighten my expenses. he is not fulfilling my dreams too.
Pls advice what should i do . should i discuss every doubts and my depress feelings to my husband ? would he listen ? would he change towards me ?
Should i leave everything the same like this running?
I am really sad .
KK replied. Hi everyone,
how far does a full time maid help?

My working hours are from 8AM to 5PM. i will be away from home from 7AM to 6PM.

i get up at 5Am, prepare breakfast,lunch. Evening, most of my time goes in feeding my 2yrs 5 months son. then prepare dinner,preparations for morning etc etc.. feel like running away from all these.

i have a servant maid for sweeping,cleaning the floor,utensils and washing cloths. but still i get very tired. i have to spent time for studies also which i am not able to do.

i want to know, how far a full time maid will be helpful? I myself want to do all the works of my son though(bathing,feeding,entertaining him..:-)) .

i heard there are lot of problems with a full time maid.. pls let me know about them?Any idea about such agencies in bangalore and what are their charges?

want to make some time for myself..
pl suggest how?

Thanks,
KK
Sahila Gupta replied. Hello everyone,

Before pregnanacy i was working but after conceiving I had some complication for which I had to quit my job.
Now my son is 8 mnth old so I want to know whether it is safe to keep a 8 mnth old child in creche for 8-10 hrs.I want to start working...
My friends,relatives everybody is advising not to leave baby for such a long time in creche.
If anybody is keepng their baby in creche can u please tell how it is whether they take good care of childrens.

Maya replied. i do agree managing house, job, in-laws and two small kids is such a difficult task. sometimes you feel that break down point has reached but when you look at the face of your smiling kids everypain, agony, anger vanishes . They are the best things in this whole universe... they are so pure, majestic, energetic and innocent . always provide unconditional love to everybody .
I am working too and my schedule is very hectic. Waking up at 6 after attending needs of 6 month old kids whole night ... preparing lunch, b/fast for 2 year old and in laws. Then leaving the house at 8 for work , dring on delhi' s road for one hour reaching office . doing work , coming back to home at 7 pm .again feeding feeds alternatively ...
Then purchasing grocery, vegetable, house hold items etc. So some how managing the responsibilities and duties .... So life of a working woman is so demanding and tough
Regards,Maya
kumud replied. Yah, Week days are a bit of RUSH! But generally few things if we take care its is much more rewarding and makes life easier.
1. Dropping child to school yourself instead of opting bus services gives lots of time to spend exclusive with child everyday.
2. We are most of the day time away from our kids, so spending quality time becomes much more important and I feel if we spend quality time even for 2-4 hours daily with them, it gives us lot of fullfillment and child is also a very happy child.
3. discippline is one part which our children learn automatically as there is no space for the not having it.
4. Hire maid for complete support at home(Cooking, cleaning etc..), so that maximum out of office time can be spent with kids.

It is tough for working mother, but at the same time balancing both is not difficult. Generally I follow all the above mentioned things and I am able to balance all my roles in my life.