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Hi

My son is 1yr old. I have put him in creche a week back. He cries his heart out there. He will stay not more than an hour there and that too very unhappy. I am feeling very guilty that as if i am torturing him.
He was happy with the baby-sitter but she has left the job due to some personal reasons. I have very limited options
1. Quit the job and be a full time mom (which i dont want to do considering its lil difficult to manage with 1 salary)
2. Arrange for another baby-sitter and work from home during the time he gets settled with the new baby-sitter
3. Send him to creche and and work from home during the time he gets settled in the creche.
(I opted for this option because if he had to adjust to new things then i thought it will be good he gets adjusted in a creche.
Dont know what to do.
Saheli, I have read your replies and they are really great. Could you please suggest something to me also.
I just want to get rid of the feeling that i am a bad mom :(

Thanks
MG preethy replied. Hi MG,

i guess u r really happy with the creche. can u tell me which creche is this. I am planning to put my kid in creche as well. am looking desperately for a good onre.

thanks,
Preethy Saheli replied. It is natural to feel guilty. But do not feel disappointed and lost. look at yourself - you are taking steps to solve the problem, and you will. This is a temporary period of struggle and you will get over it.

Do not feel guilty. Think that you are working at the office for a good future for your kid and family. Moreover, dont forget you have your life too.

Option 1 I have altogetherly rules out!

Let' s look at the other options we have -

First decide what do u want as a permanant solution? Creche or baby sitter?
I am proceeding assuming it is baby sitter.

If you have a baby-sitter ready to be appointed then option 2 sounds good. Seems best. You can work from home for some days and thats the best part I think!

If baby sitter is not immdly available then consider option 3 - chreche.
Get the kid settled there and meanwhile you can look for a maid or sitter.

To get the kid accept any new place or people he and you need time and overlap. If it is creche - then start with a complete overlap at the creche and gradually reduce it. For eg - start with saturday. Stay with kid at the creche for whatever 2-3 hours and you would do everything for the kid, not the creche people. If you see kid allowing creche caretaker to do his stuff like feeding cleaning then let them, thats even better. Like this give one-two full days complete coverage and then start reducing your presence and resp very gradually... slowly taking it to zero. Then for some days, just visit him once.
In this period, make sure u give a positive impression of creche. Avoid nagging or pestering him to eat, take care he doesnt cry too much there so that he feels creche is a bad place!

Play run around and enjoy, make him giggle at the creche and involve the caretaker while playing. They are professionals and they know very well how to engage the kid - talk to them - they will guide u.

Depending on how your kid is accepting them and how much he is crying - u can decide what kind of overlap u need to give.

If you are going for a baby sitter, still you should do the same. In this case you will use this overlap top ensure how the baby sitter really is.

Thus gradually ' wean\" the kid.

In either cases the final resp is ours. Cross checking, collecting feedback from toher parents, time to time verification and spying of sitters is recommended!

Good luck, do not worry, focus on problems. Keep us posted.
Love to your little one.

(I am generally very emotional about kids and babies. When I try to reply to problems related to kids I start imagining the kid in the situation - like in your case when I read - a sweet cute 1 yr old boy crying at the creche - flashed to me, and I was moved!.
If you think I have helped you, please keep us posted on how the kid is doing. To hear that the kid is well settled and happy - will really be a great reward for all of us reading this post!)