Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

my husband is very short tempered person i don't understand when and wht i say and he will loose his temper to such an extent that he becomes very abusive.whenever i want to discuss anything with him i don't understand why he starts shouting and i use to stop the discussion when he starts abusing.After few hrs he comes and try to talk with me normally as though nothing happened at all and i also used to forget everything and behave normally .but again and again this happens and today when he again abused me a lot now i don't feel talking to him at all no matter he comes to me and try to behave normally.
we r in USA away from my family so i feel so depressed when he behaves with me like this without any reason.
but this time seriously i don't want to patch up with him unless he assures me that he will not hurt me.
your suggestions r appreciated.
thanks, seema replied. dear Sonia,
I had a similar problem and i solved by talking about it to my husband when he was in good mood.I asked for his time and told him that please3 listen as it concerns our lives.My husband who loved me dearly otherwise,agreed to listen to me .then itold him very firmly that his behaviour hurts me a lot and I know that he loves me and therefore not like to hurt me this way .I also told him thet I too love him ,but just because of his bad temper it has become so difficult for me to stay with him .I told him that I expect a better behaviour from him next time onwards.Although this helped me to some extent the problem was not completely solved .So nowonwards whenever he gets into a foul mood i just firmly tell him to behave and do not enter into any further argument and leave him alone.Things are surely improving with time.I just cant contemplate leaving him just for occassional bad mood swings as we deeply love eachother other wise .Therefore please try to work on similar lines and try to make your life more comfortable.