Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hello ladies, i thought i should discuss this issue with u. dont u think when a woman gets married, she automatically considers her husband's house as hers and starts showering love on her husband and her new relations. she feels that she belongs to that family. but when a man gets married he doesnt seem to have the same feeling. most of the men look at their wives as an intruder trying to seperate him from his family. the inlaws think that she should be kept in place orelse she will sit on their heads. the son in laws are always treated well by the girls parents and they dont pass bad comments about his parents directly to him. but a daughter in law in most of the houses are dominated by their inlaws and most of them speak ill about her parents directly to her. dont they know that it is going to hurt their dil? iam sure they know. what kind of sadistic pleasure do they get by hurting their dil? please kindly share your views.THIS TOPIC IS ONLY ABOUT THE HUSBANDS AND INLAWS WHO HURT THEIR WIVES/DILS. I AM NOT ACCUSING THE V.FEW HUSBANDS AND INLAWS WHO ARE GOOD a dil replied. Why should our parents be quiet? We should assure them that there will never be a rift between us and our dh if they did talk back. Even if there is one we should not bring it to our parents. If a dh does not love a wife unconditionally there is no love there right? Why should our parents put up with crap just because they got their child married into a disrespectful family? tejmom replied. all u ladies are right. i agree perfectly with arti arti replied. One more thing
Well.... i believe in \";Tit for tat\";. I know If you want respect for you ,your parents , you have to do exact same thing with your In-laws.Give them same behavior as you got.Do only those things which give you mental satisfaction ,Don't try to make very good DIL,It's very hard.I m not telling you to make a bad person.But you have no choice .if there try that. arti replied. I m totally agree with your point of view.It happens a lot.And I have to face the same problem.But I think my case is little bit different.We came USA just after one month of marriage.So There was less interaction with my in laws.but I have to heard comments about my parents.They were not satisfied with marriage and dowry.They insulted my parents many time ,that period was so horrible.So I don't know ...there was not any good feeling about my in-laws.Even I didn't talk on phone with them.It was all natural.Even I don't want to do all those things ,but I have to do..Then i found a solution.I told everything to my husband .I find him very supportive for me.He is very understanding kind of person.My be he talked his parents about this ,\";i don't know\";.But now my in-laws realised everything.Now my MIL is trying to make good terms with my parents.Because I think that she realised that\";if she is not good for my parents,then how come I for them\";.But God only knows her intention.Now situations are going fine these days.
So I'm trying to cope with them but it is not like that it was before the marriage.It's like a \";knot in rope\"; It takes time.So i find the best solution of this problem is 1st. \";try to maintian a distance with your in -laws\"; and how much distance \";it depands upon case to case\";.And 2nd.\";work hard on the relationship with your husband.If he is with you then you don't need anything else.
So go for some solution related your conditions.Be strong and firm.Try some diplomatic way to solve the problems.You know \";if there is will, there is way\";. dil replied. It is sick that they behave like that, but i think if they say anything directly about our parents we should answer back very firmly, let the world think what it may. gopi replied. i guess this is basically because they are mannerless people. but everyone has to face God one day... hi replied. u r right, similar thing happened to me, right after my marriage, my mil used to pass comments about my parents directly to me, now if she tries to do that , she will be shocked to listen to my answers, and she will shut her mouth,