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Role of in-laws:Newcomer

2005-02-18

Name: julyborn Hi guys,

HATS OFF!!!! to all the DIL's who have faced bravely their in-laws. MY story is also not diff from any of you...i am so sick of in-laws....that now i don't even like to call them MY in-laws..... maybe some other time i will share my story...

What i wanted to discuss here is that: after what all we have gone through with our in-laws....We should stop our parents from making that mistake.....like with our brother' wife.....their Bahu's,......

This summer my brother getting married....so that's what i keep on telling my parents...that don't have too much of expectation from the girl....Let her enjoy her life...Don't expect to take all the housework and responsibility ther minute she gets married and comes ......teach her everything...give her time...Don't just find faults in her...and even if there maybe some issues...instead of getting angry....give her time to adjust....

What does everybody think about this??? WE stop our parents from making same mistakes...

THere a saying.......

TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM......WE HAVE TO BE IN THE SYSTEM AND CHANGE IT....

Subscribe to this conversation Reply Anonymously

Hi guys,

HATS OFF!!!! to all the DIL's who have faced bravely their in-laws. MY story is also not diff from any of you...i am so sick of in-laws....that now i don't even like to call them MY in-laws..... maybe some other time i will share my story...

What i wanted to discuss here is that: after what all we have gone through with our in-laws....We should stop our parents from making that mistake.....like with our brother' wife.....their Bahu's,......

This summer my brother getting married....so that's what i keep on telling my parents...that don't have too much of expectation from the girl....Let her enjoy her life...Don't expect to take all the housework and responsibility ther minute she gets married and comes ......teach her everything...give her time...Don't just find faults in her...and even if there maybe some issues...instead of getting angry....give her time to adjust....

What does everybody think about this??? WE stop our parents from making same mistakes...

THere a saying.......

TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM......WE HAVE TO BE IN THE SYSTEM AND CHANGE IT....

vd replied. Here I have to share something.
My brother is the only son and we are 3 daughters.All being professionals.

The day my brother(doctor) was engaged (bhabhi is doctor too), my dad told him to start looking for a seperate house. He helped him financially and got a house in bhabhi's name that too ignoring 3 daughters. everybody was zapped, but believe me they are in same locality and at peace with each other.His logic was we want happiness and everybody can have their own life styles.

How many parents can do that in India?

augustborn replied. You are absolutely right! We should never allow our own parents to turn into formidable IL's.
They say 'practice what you preach'...so its important that we behave as friends to our brothers wives rather than traditional SIL's. Also, do everything in our power to see that our parents also never slip into the role-model of the infamous IL's...

2005-02-18

Name: vd
Subject:

Listen to this

Here I have to share something.
My brother is the only son and we are 3 daughters.All being professionals.

The day my brother(doctor) was engaged (bhabhi is doctor too), my dad told him to start looking for a seperate house. He helped him financially and got a house in bhabhi's name that too ignoring 3 daughters. everybody was zapped, but believe me they are in same locality and at peace with each other.His logic was we want happiness and everybody can have their own life styles.

How many parents can do that in India?

2005-02-18

Name: augustborn
Subject:

Hats off!

Shows greatness and openness of mind and heart...

Cheers!

2005-02-18

Name: julyborn
Subject:

hi vd

HATS OFF!!!!! to your dad, vd....that's really very noble and daring thing done by your dad....i wish all the parents atleast try to think that way....

2005-02-18

Name: augustborn
Subject:

Absolutely right...

You are absolutely right! We should never allow our own parents to turn into formidable IL's.
They say 'practice what you preach'...so its important that we behave as friends to our brothers wives rather than traditional SIL's. Also, do everything in our power to see that our parents also never slip into the role-model of the infamous IL's...

2005-02-18

Name: JULYBORN
Subject:

U r correct, augustborn

Hi augustborn,

i also think we should be MODERN SIL's....be friends with them.....

And i also think that we ourselves also would be good MIL's....because firstly...after 15 or 20years,that's when our son's would get married.....there won't be joint family system prevailing.....specially if we settle in USA.... So from now on we r prepared that our son would live seperate after marraige...

Actually me and my hubby joke about it.....we will give our son the keys of their new house as wedding gift....THey can live happy and enjoy their life as they want tit...and we also at that age do what we like to do....And if we r sick...they can come or take us to take care of us ...or if they need anything we go to help...that way we r not "BOJ" to them.....

So hopefully next generation of DIL's will not go through what we went.....

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