Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

hie. i m a working mom of a 4years n 6mths old daughter who is v sharp, active n has gr8 memory!my hubby is in a different city n visits every sunday. my daughter stays wid me at work after her school. i hv my small consultancy firm where she accompanies me. i go 2 drop her at school morning at 9am n bring her back by 12.30. then i feed her at home n make her sleep every afternoon for 2 hrs after which she goes for tuitions which has helped her a lot. i bring her back in evening after tuitions n if time permits take her for skating. now many times, if i have sum meetings, i send sumbody 2 collect her... so every morning as she goes 2 schools (sr kg), she takes a promise if i wud pick her up... n grumbles if i ever xplain her dat sumbody else will... many times, i left her sleeping at home wid my relative.... n she wud wake up in tears...i keep feeling guilty all time n cant concetrate on work. i hv reduced doing dat now coz i realized she started feeling insecure n she had started wetting her pants in nights.... After tuitions she keeps wandering in the office meaninglessly talking to staff n strangers... she used 2 b interested in computers earlier n i had a teacher to help her but shez bcum too much arrogant to learn anything n wants me to be doing that job...i know i shud b doing it but if i do dat...when do i work? i want to learn how n when to spend quality time with her that will boost her confidence n rebuild her interests? i feel i m not able to concentrate much neither on her nor on my work... i dunno where m i going wrong? how do i schedule my day? Rajat replied. Hi! looks like you are trying to do your best to make the balance b/n your work & personal life. since your daughter is 4.6yrs & as u say she is v sharp as well, you should try to talk to her as a friend rather than a mom. this may sound a bit strange but now-a-days kids understand things provided we parents are ready to share/communicate with them. you will need to explain your daughter how important it is for you to work. for example try to make her understand that if you do not work properly, then you will not earn money & if you do not earn money how will you buy toys/books/chocolates etc (whatever your daughter likes..). This will make her feel how important your working is for her! ! ! she will surely understand this & will let you work freely. Another way is to make small promises like accompanying her to the park, or to her fav place, or treating her with her favrouite chocolate/icecream after you have finished your work. This way she will let you concentrate you on your work. But please remember these are not smart tricks, you will have to live these. Do keep your promises. once you start keeping your promises your relation with your daughter will be of a friends & not a mom & daughter alone. Last but not the least when you make promises, pls. do keep in mind that money, or expensive gifts should never be on offer. (Remember....you should go for investing emotions & feelings rather than pure bargains!). Try this & do let me know if this helps! happy parenting..:))