Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi augustborn(and all others),
i have been reading your posts since so many days. but ur last post made me post this.
yeah, people in india really think that we are living like rajas-maharajas here in US.
my husband never tells me the amount of money he spends on his family back in india. he sends lacs of rupees for his bros/sis's weddings. he personally takes gifts(when we visit) or even sends from here for his bros/sis's children(as if there are no things available in india). then he even buys expensive things for them there. he sends money for aunts/uncles' business, house construction,...
but whenever it comes to me, it is \";have i ever said no to you-you can buy whatevr you want.\";
he never buys any gifts for me. if i say i want this/that, he never stops me.
he has bought camcorder, laptop, cameras, goggles, jackets, expensive makeup stuff etc for his siblings. but for my parents or my siblings it is nothing. he just says that i can buy whatever i need for them.
now he sent a few things for his siblings' kids to india(for valentine). but i'm sure he will bring nothing for me. he simply says he doesn;t understand what to but for me. i shud get it.
if i say anything abt saving for our future, he says i do not enjoy life. i always do \";paisa-paisa...\";.
he is otherwise a very nice person and loves me a lot. i don't have any other probs.
his parents are ok with me.
his other brothers are earning so well in india.(60-70K/mnth). can't they buy cameras/computers or even TV there? they hardly contribute at home. we don't save much here, but they think otherwise.
suggest me something. i feel very frustrated. i can;t even say anything directly to him.
bye augustborn replied. No dear I am no 'wonder woman' as you put it...i am just like you.
I too have my share of problems just like you. Actually we all experience and learn...and then should share 'best practices'...:)
Hey, dont let anything kill your spirit. You may be 'down' for a time being, but you cant be 'out' ...Rediscover yourself.
There is so much to learn from everyone here... augustborn replied. Here's what I do:

I maintain an excel sheet workbook with details like Income and expenditure each month. It includes the day to day expenditure too. It also has details about the money we have saved so far...(I have jazzed it up with graphs etc and just for kicks give a monthly presentation to my husband on power-point...haha)
But the underlying idea here is to understand what your expenses are, where you can save and how you can regulate your expenditures better.
Since I have started this, my husband has started showing greater interest and enthusiasm towards proper discharge of money. Afterall, its presentation. When you can visually see what is happening with your money, you tend to get more involved and careful about it.
Also, before any trip to India, I open an excel sheet and involve my husband with the budgeting. This makes us draw a line to the amount of expenditure we can do with a mutual consent.
Generally, men are logical beings who only believe in what they see-imagination is alien to them.
This has worked for me...try it out, maybe it will work for you too!