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Trying since long:I am drained out emotionally

2008-10-06

Name: Rati Wadhwa I know i have come up with some problem only but dear friends i need ur help .
2 days back i got the result of my 2nd IVF attempt which has again come negative .
I am totally shattered and just want to commit suicide .
I am not able to console muself and have been crying since then .Today i rejoined my job but i am unable to concentrate here also .After evry 10 minutes i am running to washroom and am crying there .
Evryting went well 3 good embryos were transferred endometrium was good but then also negative .
It has been a 9.5 year long fight but still not ending .
I am totally blank and clueless and am not able to think what to do .I have lost all faith in god also .My boss who is very supportive told me in the morning that maybe something good is in store for u but what good is in store for me ???It is just pain and agony in my life .

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2008-10-14

Name: Sanjana
Subject:

Natural Killer cells

Hi Rati,
I also have 3 failed ivf' s.Recently I found out in one of my tests that I have Natural killer cells , which was not allowing my embryo' s to implant in my uterus.I don' t know where you stay, but I stay in usa..And here too they have few clinics whic does these tests, and treat them.May be you can look in to this.

2008-10-14

Name: Rati
Subject:

thanks a lot

Dear Sanjana,
after my second attempt failed even my Dr. felt that there are some antibodies which are not allowing it to implant but i am quite surprised she did not tell me to go through any blood test to check that .like this only she wants to try 3rd time .But i told her that right now due to stress i am not willing to go for it immediately maybe after a break .In the meanwhile i am planning to meet Dr. parikh at Mumbai or maybe Dr.Selvaraj at Chennai .let me see i will not jump into the third attempt like this .More then money it is the emotional and mental trauma that is hard to bear .
I live in India .From Delhi but presently based in Chennai .
Thanks for the mail
Rati

2008-10-07

Name: sanu
Subject:

hi rati

Dear Rati,
i know how you are feeling right now. becasue i have just undergone my 1st ivf and (my case is unexplained infertility) and things r not still clear.7 1/2 year long wait ....still... praying god to do some miracle. plz have faith. i know its too difficult to cope with it ..be positive and try one more time...many people conceived after 2=3 failed attempts.take 2-3 days off and go out somewhere with your hubby. it may help you to overcome from it. don' t worry. may god bless you a baby soon...all the best. take care

2008-10-09

Name: Rati
Subject:

Thanks

Hi sanu,
thanks for the encouraging words.It is only people like u who r going through the same can understand my painful state of mind .Slowly i am trying to come out of it .Actually my prob. is low count of my hubby that is why the Dr. was sure things will go right .
Ystdy i went to meet her .She told me the thing that went against me was my stress and negative thinking .Actually we stay alone here so no help .My husband takes as much care as he can but he also has his job so cannot take care 100%.
My dr. also told me to go for one more time and keep a positive mind ,to relax and to put on some weight .this time i will call my mother bcoz my dr. told me to be on complete rest atleast 20 days before the procedure .
I have taken a break of some time then i will go for my next attempt .I am stressed so do not want to go immediately .
My Dr. is repeatedly telling me to be very relax and cheerful bcoz that helps a lot and that is i am trying to do .Forget what has happened and start fresh.I hope God will answer the prayers of us all & will bless all of us with kids.
All the best
thanks for the support
Rati

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