Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

friends,
I have an unique problem. The thing is my hubby is not at all proactive when it comes to gifts / arranging parties etc., It is always my duty to remind him abt important dates like bday / anniversary etc., and I need to plan everything. But for whatever I plan he will always support me. This includes weekend / long weekend plans too. 95% of the time he will take me whereever I want to go and very few times he says he is tired or has work or needs to watch a game on TV which is ok with me. I have tried discussing this with him many times and he accepts that he is like that only mainly bcoz his mom used to take care of all his needs and nothing can be done now.
Friends, After three years of marriage, I know i cannot change him nor control him, but what do u think is best for me. Shd I continue this job of reminding and organising things or Let going my desires, I shd just stop assuming he will change one day.
Valentine's day being around the corner, I am really confused. I dont want to remind and get a gift
Pleaseeeeeeeeee let me know ur views...
thanks a ton life replied. friends,
I really thank u for sharing ur thoughts...I swear I need to remind his parents bday /anniv too....God...
hmm....well I was talking to my new neighbour today and infact she also picked up the same topic and said her hubby wont remember anything......
hope i would be able to plan something nice for this VDAY!!!!!
you guys have fun..... augustborn replied. Seems an universal issue :) Infact, there are very few men I know who actually remember special occassions.
Well, my husband too doesnot remember occassions, infact I am so obliged to him(hehe)for remembering my birthday and our anniversary. I guess he knows that if he forgets that, all hell will break loose :)
Also, we will never have a vacation/outing if I dont plan it. As in your cases, he will go everywhere and do everything as long as he doesnt have to plan anything :)
In my first year of marriage I used to feel bad about this but then I figured out that he loves me a lot but simply lacks ideas in that department :)

So relax, go ahead and plan and have a blast!
sakhi replied. Hi life,
I am in the same boat like you. Can you believe my hubby doesn't even remember his parent's b'day/anniversary! I am the one who reminds him that it's your parent's anniversary or their b'day or any other important occasion. I am the one who always gets cards/gifts for his parents. He never takes any initiative. And like your hubby he never says he won't support me, rather he is very supportive of everything. He actually doesn't believe in any kind of show off or something of that kind. I know he loves everyone a lot but it's difficult for him to remember dates/occasions or any such thing. So friend just relax, I have seen many guys who are like our hubbies. I have been dealing this since six yrs of our marriage and I have got used to it now. Always remind him of dates and all, specially his parents; he will be happy that his wife is taking good care of him and his family will be happy too. Don't expect anything from husbands they will always be little boys. Get gifts for yourself and for him, just in case you think you need to remind him. Surprise him, husbands like that!!!
And be happy (at least they always support us in whatever we do)!!
Cheer up girl Diligent replied. Most men are very poor at remembering dates. This is very normal and the best part is he supports you when you organise something which means he appreciates your efforts and probably admires you for it too even though he may not mention it.

You could write down dates eg. your birthday, anniversary etc in his diary at the beginning of each year. But as far as extended family goes like his mum, his sis, aunt uncles, nephews don't expect him to remember these dates - it's too much for them!