Fighting and quarreling is common amongst
children. Children may fight with each other due to various reasons. However,
parents can help children to control their aggressive behaviour. Read on to
find more about why children fight and how parents can help them to avoid fighting.
Parents want to see their children having good coordination
and wish to see them love each other. However, sibling
rivalry or fights amongst children are unavoidable yet parents find it very
hard to see their children fighting. In fact, sibling rivalry or fights between
children should not be seen in a negative way because it gives a chance to each
child to compromise, adjust with others and at the same time stand out for
Families having more than one child experience sibling
rivalry. It is on the part of the parents what they should do, where they
should intervene and where they need to leave them settle down on their own.
Remember, as a parent you should interfere only when the fighting get physical
or you see verbal abusing.
Fighting between two children occur, usually, when one gets
frustrated or angry. They might start hitting, throwing things or yelling at
each other. Children need to learn to deal with anger and they must be taught
about what is acceptable and what is not as soon as possible. How children
handle their anger
depends largely on the type of response they get from their parents.
Why Children Fight
Here are few reasons due to which children fight with each
Changing needs –
The demands, likes and dislikes of children go on changing as they grow. So,
reasons behind fights
differ according to age. A toddler will react when anyone touches his toy while
a teenager will react on taking care of their younger ones.
Individual Nature and
Temperament – The personality of your kid matters a lot, how he gets along
with others right from the beginning of his life. This includes mood, outlook
Sick Kids or Kids with
Special Needs – Usually kids who have been sick for long or suffer from special
needs get more attention from parents. This is one of the major causes
behind fight between the two children often.
Paradigms – The
way parents solve problems between two children create an image of ideal way to
fairness in the minds of the two children. They also see the ways their parents
deal with problems and try to implement that in their daily life.
How to Reduce and Deal
Follow these tips to reduce and deal with fights between
and encourage children to play cooperatively. Explain them the rules like
taking turns, keeping off hands and feet and being gentle and polite to
children to solve their problems on their own and teach them how to take
care of other’s interests too.
- If you
find your child is getting aggressive, intervene immediately. Ask them to
stop being violent and destructive and also ask them to play nicely.
- If the
fight does not stop, separate them and tell them you would declare the
time out for playing.
the declared quiet time, let them regain playing. Praise them for
following your advice. You can also join them actively so that they play
Follow the advice and guidelines and you will find that you
can easily minimise the fighting between your children. Just be patient, get
involved at times actively with them and play. This will not only give them
confidence and feeling of coordination, but also help them get quality time
with their parents.
Even though you find your children fighting often, remember
you should deal with it patiently. Do not forget that they will take your words
as decision and parents are role model for their children. Also, be fair to
your children and bear in mind, it takes two to fight.