there sibling rivalry between your children? Read on to know what sibling rivalry
is and how to deal with fights between siblings. Find
some sibling rivalry solutions in this interesting article. Read how
parents can reduce and control sibling rivalry.
At times, your children might adore
each other and at other times they may seem to hate each other. Although,sibling rivalry exists, there are many cases
where siblings are best friends too.
is Sibling Rivalry?
Sibling rivalry has existed since
ages, ever since the existence of families itself. Siblings fight,
sometimes they get jealous of each other and even have feelings of
competitiveness with each other. Sometimes, the reason for the sibling
rivalry could be to compete for the attention and
love of one parent or both. Some children are very close to their parents and
want the mother and father only for themselves. They do not want to share the
parents with anybody else.
Reasons for Sibling Rivalry
One of the
most common reasons for sibling rivalry is want for
attention. One child might feel jealous of the other child because he feels
that the other one is getting more attention from parents.
Sometimes the big age gap between children can
become a reason for siblingrivalry. When the children are younger, they
might be happy to play with each other. But as they grow older,
their differences increase. An example of this would be the
following. An older sibling might bring their friends home, but the
younger sibling might constantly intrude upon them and not give them
space. The younger sibling may also want to be there along with them
in the same room which may make the older sibling angry and irritated
and thus result in a fight between the two.
Fights between children of opposite
gender are common. Generally fathers are more protective and gentle
towards daughters which the sons may not like and feel bad about.
A common reason
for sibling fighting is fight over belongings. The younger sibling might
have snatched the toys of the other sibling. The parents may have brought
a set of dolls for their two daughters. Fights could arise because each sister
wants the nicer and prettier doll. If the siblings are older, and
there is only one computer in
the home, it can lead to a fight over who gets to sit on the computer.
Individual temperament and tastes
Differences in personality may
also be a reason which causes fights. Onesibling may be very calm and
composed and the other one may be one who gets excited easily.
If siblings are sharing a room and one sibling is very fond
of music and wants to play loud music, but the other sibling does not
like loud music, it may result in a fight.
These are some dont’s for parents
facing sibling rivalry:
Do not make comparisons
Do not for example say, when Tapu was
your age he used to stand first in the class every time. Every child is unique
and no child likes to be compared to other children. Comparisons might lower
self-esteem and act as a catalyst for more sibling rivalry.
Comparisons may hurt feelings and sadden the child who is being compared.
Do not play spectator
Sometimes, parents may think that they
should not interfere in the children’s fights. Parents need not interfere or
take sides. But, if the physical safety of either child is threatened, or they
begin to get verbally abusive parents must
step in and take a practical decision to solve the argument.
control Sibling Rivalry?
Parents must spend time alone with each
of the children. Spending time alone with each child means a lot to the
While solving fights parents should
take time and listen to both the children and both points of view
before coming to a conclusion.
Parents should teach their children
that they should resolve fights peacefully without resorting to hitting,
slapping or verbally abusing.
Parents must try to engage
the siblings through family games
or activities. When siblings share more experiences and become closer
to each other, they will resolve their fights faster and fight less.
Although they may fight occasionally or there is a lot
of sibling rivalry, siblings are known to help each other and be
there for each other when the other one needs them. In fact, children who
have siblings are seen to be more co-operative with other children
because they already have a sibling at home and know how to share and