Make your Child a Perfect Little Helper

In this articleChildren dont helpCatch them youngOlder children are less cooperativeHow to make your child pitch inChildren dont help When parents look at a newborn baby cuddled in their arms, a feeling of protectiveness usually overwhelms them. They want to do everything possible to make their child happy and comfortable. As the years go by, the baby grows up, but parents tend to underestimate the capabilities of young children and continue to do things for them without expecting anything in return. Then one day, they wake up and decide its time their children pitch in and are surprised when they are met with resistance. After years of having their parents pamper them, it comes as a rude shock to children that theyre actually expected to pull their weight in the house. Megha Chatterjee says that she is tired of feeling like a slave to her children. "While I dont expect my children to do household work, I do think that they must learn to look after their own things. They shouldnt assume its my job to pick up after them." Catch them young Doing chores gives children a sense of responsibility, teaches them cooperation and involves them in family life. The sooner parents give their children age-appropriate responsibility the better. Parents can slowly increase the difficulties of the task and their expectations depending on the maturity of the child. Two- and three-year olds love to help as it gives them a feeling of being in control. At this age they think it is great fun to be entrusted with any tasks and view them as a challenge. Parents should give children this age responsibilities such as: picking up their toys, choosing their own clothes, helping in brushing their hair, washing their hands and face, etc. Sometimes when a three-year-old is trying to help, he can create even more work for the parent. In such cases, parents often become impatient and take over, doing the task themselves. This only serves to discourage the toddler from "helping." Parents need to be tolerant and ask their children to help when they have the time and the patience to put up with a little hindrance. In addition, they should make sure that the tasks assigned should be within the childs capabilities so that the child will feel a sense of accomplishment. Older children are less cooperative As children get older, they are less likely to be cooperative when it comes to chores. Lata Srinivasan complains, "My children dont lift a finger to help around the house. They think that the housework is done by magic. Every time I ask them to do something they complain or act like theyre doing me a big favour." Faced with a young child who is refusing to do a task assigned to him, parents have a tendency to get exasperated and tell him that he is excused this time. However, when parents do this, they defeat the whole purpose of trying to inculcate a sense of responsibility in their child as they are giving him the message that it is all right not to do his chores if he doesnt feel like.How to make your child pitch in Make a list of all the chores your child can do and let her pick the ones she would like to do. Then make a weekly chart showing what chores she must do on each day of the week. Do not assume that your child knows how to do what is expected. Take a little time out to teach her. Abandon any perfectionist tendencies. Compliment her on her efforts and rectify any mistakes in her absence. Check to see that each task has been properly performed. The schedule of chores should not be rigid. Take time out to play with the child, show your appreciation and affection. The chores will not seem like drudgery then. In addition, allow the child a little flexibility in his routine. Do not bribe or pay your child for doing routine chores. Your child will start by being a "perfect little helper" to an able and responsible adult. Who would have thought that just teaching children to help you is actually helping them in the long run!

Children don't help

When parents look at a newborn baby cuddled in their arms, a feeling of protectiveness usually overwhelms them. They want to do everything possible to make their child happy and comfortable. As the years go by, the baby grows up, but parents tend to underestimate the capabilities of young children and continue to do things for them without expecting anything in return. Then one day, they wake up and decide it's time their children pitch in and are surprised when they are met with resistance. After years of having their parents pamper them, it comes as a rude shock to children that they're actually expected to pull their weight in the house.

Megha Chatterjee says that she is tired of feeling like a slave to her children. "While I don't expect my children to do household work, I do think that they must learn to look after their own things. They shouldn't assume it's my job to pick up after them."

Catch them young

Doing chores gives children a sense of responsibility, teaches them cooperation and involves them in family life. The sooner parents give their children age-appropriate responsibility the better. Parents can slowly increase the difficulties of the task and their expectations depending on the maturity of the child. Two- and three-year olds love to help as it gives them a feeling of being in control. At this age they think it is great fun to be entrusted with any tasks and view them as a challenge. Parents should give children this age responsibilities such as: picking up their toys, choosing their own clothes, helping in brushing their hair, washing their hands and face, etc.

Sometimes when a three-year-old is trying to help, he can create even more work for the parent. In such cases, parents often become impatient and take over, doing the task themselves. This only serves to discourage the toddler from "helping." Parents need to be tolerant and ask their children to help when they have the time and the patience to put up with a little hindrance. In addition, they should make sure that the tasks assigned should be within the child's capabilities so that the child will feel a sense of accomplishment.

Older children are less cooperative

As children get older, they are less likely to be cooperative when it comes to chores. Lata Srinivasan complains, "My children don't lift a finger to help around the house. They think that the housework is done by magic. Every time I ask them to do something they complain or act like they're doing me a big favour."

Faced with a young child who is refusing to do a task assigned to him, parents have a tendency to get exasperated and tell him that he is excused this time. However, when parents do this, they defeat the whole purpose of trying to inculcate a sense of responsibility in their child as they are giving him the message that it is all right not to do his chores if he doesn't feel like.

How to make your child pitch in

• Make a list of all the chores your child can do and let her pick the ones she would like to do. Then make a weekly chart showing what chores she must do on each day of the week.
• Do not assume that your child knows how to do what is expected. Take a little time out to teach her.
• Abandon any perfectionist tendencies. Compliment her on her efforts and rectify any mistakes in her absence.
• Check to see that each task has been properly performed.
• The schedule of chores should not be rigid. Take time out to play with the child, show your appreciation and affection. The chores will not seem like drudgery then. In addition, allow the child a little flexibility in his routine.
• Do not bribe or pay your child for doing routine chores.

Your child will start by being a "perfect little helper" to an able and responsible adult. Who would have thought that just teaching children to help you is actually helping them in the long run!