People envy a baby's blissful existence. All that a baby seems to do is eat, sleep, urinate and excrete. For the first few months of her life, a baby's hunger is easily satisfied. The baby just wants food. She is not at all discriminating about her diet. When she is close to a year old, she ceases to be as ravenous as before and she becomes picky about food. She develops definite likes and dislikes. And feeding becomes a nightmare.
Your baby develops dietary preferences, as she becomes aware that she is not just an extension of you. Deciding what she would like to eat is one way in which she asserts her independence. Teething can also kill a baby's appetite. Like an adult, the baby's appetite and liking for particular foods change from day to day. Feeding problems can also stem from sibling rivalry, illness or other worries.
Trust your baby's instincts
Dr. Davis conducted an experiment using three 8 to 10 month old babies who had been fed only on breast milk. At each meal six to eight dishes of wholesome unrefined foods were placed before them and they were allowed to point to what they would like to eat. Dr. Davis discovered that left to their own devices, these babies had a healthy development. Over time, they chose what was generally accepted as a well-balanced diet. Their appetites varied from meal to meal and day to day. This study seems to indicate that babies somehow have a natural inbuilt ability to eat in a manner that does not harm their development. We must remember that we managed our diets successfully for centuries before we were told the do's and don'ts of nutrition.
Parents should trust their babies' instincts and give them some leeway when it comes to eating. Anxious parents worry that poor eating can lead to nutritional deficiency and development problems. Children seem to have an inner mechanism that somehow works to ensure that they have a balanced diet. Children rarely develop vitamin deficiency or malnutrition because they are poor eaters.
Force feeding is not the answer
When your child has a feeding problem, meal times become a battlefield as anxious and frustrated parents try to persuade their child to eat. A feeding problem is often the result of parents coercing their children to eat. In most cases this backfires. Forcing your child to eat will only worsen the situation because it reinforces the child's dislike for food.
Mealtimes should be pleasant affairs. Avoid making the child's diet a bone of contention at every meal. This will make the child dread meals even more. Make every effort to make your child look forward to mealtimes. Give her the wholesome food she likes best for 2 to 3 months and omit all the foods that she dislikes. This will help to make her less suspicious and tense about food.
My child loves junk food
If you have a child whose diet of choice would consist of only junk food, the problem is more complicated. Give her what she likes for a few months. Once you have gained her trust, slowly introduce more healthy food that she had no severe objections to. Do not try to make her eat something she hates. Do not make an issue about the new addition to the diet even if she leaves it untouched. Try again after a couple of weeks or try something else in between.
My child thinks dessert is the main course
If your child has an inordinate sweet tooth and wants to eat four helpings of dessert compared to a single helping of the main course, give in to her. Sometimes if you show that you do not care one way or the other, children come around to a reasonable diet on their own. However, cut down on the number of times that you serve dessert at home. Introduce fruit after a meal instead. Do not bargain with your child promising her that if she finishes the vegetables, she can have another helping of dessert. You will make her feel that eating vegetables is a punishment, which will only serve to reinforce her dislike for them. Never make them eat at night what they have refused in the afternoon.
My child has the appetite of a bird
If your child is a small eater, give her smaller servings of food. Give her less than you expect her to eat so that she voluntarily comes to the conclusion that the food is not enough. Let her ask for more. Don't press food on her eagerly as soon as she finishes. Also, remember that when the child sees what appears to be a huge mountain of food on her plate, she will be discouraged right from the beginning knowing that there is no way that she can eat so much.
Spoon-feeding your child
A child of two should be able to feed herself. However, some parents whose children are fussy eaters feel that their children eat more when they feed them. While this may be true, parents sometimes go to an extreme by feeding their child until she is 2 or 3 years old. In these cases, the child gets into the habit of being fed and has no desire to feed herself. In addition, the child perceives feeding as an expression of love and concern on the part of the parents. Consequently, when the parents stop feeding the child, deciding that she is old enough to feed herself, the child is hurt and becomes resentful. Parents usually give in at this point and resume feeding the child. Thus, the child learns to manipulate the parents.
The way to wean a child off the habit of being spoon-fed is to give her her favourite foods and then step out of the room for a minute or two. Lengthen the period of your absence slowly. You may still have to feed her when you step back into the room, but she will soon become impatient and begin feeding herself. Do not get into the habit of feeding her the last half of the meal. If she asks you to feed her after she has eaten a few spoonfuls herself, casually tell her that you think she has had enough. Her hunger will soon naturally lead her to finish the meal herself once she realizes that she cannot expect any help from your quarter.
Persuasive tactics
Parents have told innumerable stories about the ingenuous ploys that they have had to use to convince their child to eat. Some parents have to tell a new story for every mouthful; some have to take their children outdoors to distract them; some parents bribe their children with gifts for every plate that is wiped clean of food. This is not advisable. Eating should not be linked to a bribe because you are indicating to the child that it is an unpleasant act for which they should be compensated. The child should eat because it wants to and for no other reason.
Exercising control
While the child should be allowed a certain amount of freedom in her diet, it does not mean that the parents should be slaves to her whims. Give in to your child's preferences only to the extent that it does not inconvenience the rest of the family. Parents also need to control the intake of sugar, chocolates, colas, desserts and other less nutritious foods.
Name:
shilpa,
Country: India
My daughter is 10 months . she doesn`t eat anything which i hav tried. she doesnt open her mouth. I hav done my total efforts but she doesnt show any interest about food. when i give her food forcely she taken out that. i m very worried abt it what should i do? please help me
Name:
sita,
Country: India
my daughtr is 2months 3weeks.she is just 4.5kg.can u pls tell me wat to feed her to gain weight.am too tensed.n by 3months wat feeds to give
Name:
shaghy,
Country: Iran
hi every body!
my little angle is 13 months old and she is a fussy eater to. my husband and i tried everything and mealtime is the worst time in our house! at last the only thing that worked, was letting her feeding herself , this will make ur house too messy but it woked for us u can try too!
good luck
Name:
Vijaya Dhaneshwar,
Country: usa
kishore, you can try giving him all the foods that he likes for about 2-3 weeks, even though they may be unhealthy, and then gradually introduce healthy but tasty foods. it worked for my son.
Name:
Kishore Advani,
Country: india
my son is 12 years old and
has an appetite of 4-5 year
ols and is fussy.
can anybody out there help me
please contact me at my email
gexp@bom2.vsnl.ne t.in
Name:
Anamika Desai,
Country: india
your article says that i should not forcefeed my child, but it is easier said than done because as a parent you cannot watch your child not eat a balanced meal.
Name:
bhav,
Country: usa
my 21/2 yrs old daughter has to be force feed each meal.she is never hungry,even if she has not eaten anything for 9-10 hrs,infact if not force feed she would not ask for food,she doesn't eat a cookie,or put anything in mouth, i am anxious b'cose till date she only eat mashed food and can't eat rice,chappti etc.
she takes hours to finish her one meal.i have recently inroduced cereal cooked well and what starts as breakfast extends to lunch as she gags ,cries and it is tough feeding her.i would appreciate comments or suggestion at ishagulati@yahoo.c om
Name:
bhar,
Country: india
e mail id bharcbe@hotmail.com
Name:
Bhar,
Country: usa
hi,
my son is 16 months old.he is not drinking milk for the past 3 weeks.before that he was drinking nicely.i've tried giving him by changing flavours,cold milk,etc.but he just pushes the glass away.i really am very upset about it.can anyone suggest something?
Name:
puuwali@aol.com,
Country: usa
my grandchild of 15 months has never put anything in his mouth. he will not eat anything unless from a spoon. he won't eat a cookie or put any food in his moutheven when left on his tray at meal times. can anyone help? the doctors don't seem to think it's a big thing. i have never seen a baby not want to put things in their mouth. thank you for any input.
email me at puuwali@aol.com
Name:
Vandana r.,
Country: india
i have 2 children.the baby eats better than the elder one.however my elder one has certain foods only theat he likes and others like potato that he does'nt.moreover he cannot tolerate hot or warm food.sometimes fear or sometimes a cartoon on t.v. makes him eat ,i know that is not a good habit but les intake will cause lack of nutrition and that makes him tired and weak soon.
Name:
anita,
Country: india
my son is 11months old he doesn't eat anything exceept breastmilk. i have to force him to eat i am very worried please suggest.e.mail anitachheda@hotmail.com
Name:
preeti@hongkong.com,
Country: hongkong
my child is very good at home , he will turn 4 in july but he has not learn how to share his toys with others . he is the only child. he goes to school, in school he is ok but at home or outside he dont want to give his toys and he weep very loudly. sometime wehave to scold him or beat him. i feel it is not good but tell me what can i do .
Name:
an anxious mom,
Country: india
my 20 mnth old son has just started having milk 2 mnths back.he has powder milk with water. he refuses to have any other form of milk.i breastfed him till 14 mths.he eats solids but is avery poor eater.kindly give suggestions to improve his diet..
write to me on veryoung_2000@yahoo.co m
Name:
Sam,
Country: india
i don't think they should feed them at all.
Name:
Grandma Marita,
Country: canada
does anyone have any specials ways of feeding a 15-month vegetables? we have tried cooked/uncooked, mashed and/or chunked, etc.; he spits them all out.
email address: rusak@cadvision.com
Name:
vasundhara,
Country: india
my daughter is 15 mths old,she eats almost everything.i have noticed that including her in our mealtimes has helped.she sits with us when we have our meals,so she also tries to eat,though she makes a big mess i try & encourage her to eat on her own.
Name:
preeti,
Country: singapore
my son is 16 months old.he is very poor eater.his feeding time is nearly 30 minutes to 1 hours for each feed.sometimes its very frustrating for me to feed him.i almost tried all the foods,still the same and more over he won't drink the juices like apple or orange etc.i'm really very upset about it.may i know about baby food receipes which is healthy and tasty and also i would like to get some suggestions get him to eat faster.
emailid : babithap@hotmail.com
email id :babithap@hotmail. com
Name:
Tammee,
Country: canada
i have a daughter of 18 months and although i have started introducing solid foods to her at 10 months she still prefers her formula. she does eat cereal and yogurt and the odd dish of pureed fruit. but she can't live on that alone. i've tried introducing cooked vegetables and finely chopped meat and potatoes and such, but all she does is pay with it and throw it on the floor. or if we're lucky enough that she will try it, she chokes and gags to get it out of her mouth. the doctor says that she seems healthy enough (because she's a chubby baby), but i feel she's still not getting any proper nutrition and the doctor has not provided me with any advice as to whether i should wean her off the bottle or how to help encourage my daughter to eat. i'm at a loss here. if any one can relate to my situation, i'd really appreciate some advice. here's my email address:
tackaberry@ykn et.yk.ca
Name:
Geetha,
Country: india
i read in your article that you shouldn't force feed your child.but when you don't feed them, they have to remain in school for 4 to 5 hours without having anything in the morning, how can they stay strong and concentrate on lessons.i have a 4 year old kid.making him eat his breakfast is a big problem.previously he used to have more quantity.now he has reduced the quantity and i have to feed him.he is not eating on his own.this is my second problem.someone have to feed him meals or else he wouldn't eat at all.even then dinner or lunch time is around two hours for him.can someone suggest how to deal with him.my mail id id geetha.g@in.bos ch.com
Name:
a mom,
Country: india
hi geetha
i have a four year little girl.i have felt just like u all did until 9 momths back. cos until then i always forcr fed my littlegirl.
then i could not take it any more. so i stopped doing it. for about two months i increased the intervals between meals from 3-4 hrs to 4-5 hrs and gave half of what i usually feed her.
i can hear many moms gasping, how could she do it.
believe that is the best thing i have done as a mother.
my daughter now is haealthier(
well not weightwise but habbitwise)
and eats on her own and has enough food that is she eats what is enough for her .
we a s parents also has to understand that little tummies can only have little amounts. children can eat only so much as to satisfy their hunger and not the quantities we want them to eat.
listen in any relationship
compromise brings out the best result.
the best u can do for a fussy eater is,let them feel little bit of hunger so that they enjoy food rather then hate it.
Name:
Deepanjali Singh,
Country: malaysia
hi, i am deepanjali. i was kind of releived to read about someone besides me having problems withfussy kids my daughter is two and ahalf and is a very poor eater. i am extremely worried about her and have tried everything under the sun but there seems to be no improvement. she eats like asparrow and is very choosy i would love to get some suggestions. no some mothers never give up.
Name:
kopal,
Country: usa
my son is 20 months old.he is still on breastmilk.i guess he finds it easier than solid food.he eats very little and wants the breast only .it is very embarrasing for me.pleeeease tell me how to wean him off the breast.i have tried gradually reducing the feeds it does not help
Name:
priya,
Country: usa
kopal,i too faced the same problem when my daughter was15 month old. she was very adumant and never sleep without breast milk.atlast i was advised by our doctor not to give her milk even she demands or cries.she will cry a day or two then she will leave. i didn't believe this first. we feel somewhat tough topractice ,but after 3 days she left it completely,as per doctor said.now she is taking whole milk.
Name:
Seema Suri,
Country: india
my son is three and a half year old but till date he niether eats chapati nor any kind of dal. he is only taking milk,soup and suji kheer. is this enough for him. i am very tense. kindly advise at seemasuri@hotmail.com
