As your children are growing up, consider imparting wisdom instead of just instructions.
Don't shield your child
Often when children grow up, leave their home and start forging a life
for themselves, they do so based on their past experiences, and what
they have learnt from them. So if you have constantly shielded your child, you can be certain that when you child
is out there facing the world, she is not going to be prepared as you
have not armed her with the tools of experience. But if you encourage
to get out there and learn from her own mistakes, you can be sure that
the lessons she learns will last a lifetime. And wouldn't you rather
she made the mistakes now, when you are there by her side to pick her
up, wipe her tears and help her move on, than many years later, when
she is by herself, in another corner of the city, country or perhaps,
Teach yourchild how to say no.
Later on in life your child
is certain to find herself in situations where it is difficult for her
to say 'no' "whether to accompany a friend somewhere, to staying later
at a party, to drugs, to alcohol, to drinks, to sex". the list is
endless. Teach your child to say no at the outset. The next time your child
looks at you and says NO loudly and vociferously, you may not like it
at the moment, but don't be too harsh on her. Instead, think of her as
asserting her individuality. Discipline her gently, and don't punish
her for her 'no'.
Teach yourchild to do and be seen doing
There are various kinds of people in the world.
Those who work hard, those who take credit for other people's work,
those who work hard and whose work gets noticed by the boss, those who
work endlessly like a peg in the wheel but are never noticed, and those
who don't work at all. Raise your child
to be a person who works, and who gets noticed while working. Don't
pass comments like, "Rita only enters the kitchen when her in-laws are
around, just to show them that she works so hard. What a hypocrite!" in
front of your children. True, it is wrong for a person to work only
when someone is out there watching, and it is wrong for a person to
take credit for something done by someone else. But it is not wrong to
work, and let people know that you are the one who has done the job. Although it may seem a little hypocritical at
some level, there is also common-sense behind this piece of advice, and
it will make a hell of a lot of difference to your child's career.
Teach yourchild not to carry fools on her back
Encourage your child
to make friends with children who are as or more intelligent than she
is. Although this may not always be possible, make sure that at least a
large portion of your child's friends are of a similar intellectual
level or have varied interests. It is only when this happens that your child will be encouraged to grow and learn more. If your child's best friend reads the newspaper everyday, your child will start reading it as well. If another friend takes karate classes, your child will be enthused about joining those taekwondo classes you have signed him up for.
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- The Indiaparenting Team