Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

Hi,This is Gagan from Delhi. I am new to this group. I have a two year old baby boy. Something that I find tough to handle andam woried about is that, he always wants to do what he wants to. Some people say that he should be allowed to, whatever he wants to and he will at this age. I personally believe that he should be made to realise when is something said to him seriously and when is it that he can ignore it. For example he tries to hit television scree with remote or any hard object. We shout to make the matter look serious and to make him understand. But he comes and smiles. Also he askes all the things to be done on his own. Its a quality, but at times when things are dangerous, e.g. he wants to switch on light, and a socket is loose, he is not willing to listen to a NO. Whats the remedy? Or is it that he shall be allowed to do all that, considering his young age? I seek professional opinion as well as opinions of other parents please. momsays replied. Hi Gagan,
Possible tactics:
Since your boy is only two year old he is may not be able to understand the seriousness of the danger. So here is some tactic that you may follow:
1. Hitting tv with remote:
Dont shout or yell, simply take the remote from him( when he expects it least ) and keep it at a place where he cannot reach it. Tell him that its dirty or poopies (what ever term you use for dirty diapers). Tell him that mom will clean and give it to him tomorrow and then divert with some other toy.

2. Sockets/Lights
Make sure that all the sockets are children proof. gET some good electrician to fix all the sockets and power connections. All tables and chairs that will help him reach the place should be kept under vigillance or lock/key.
This way when you are not looking he will not accidenly cause danger.
Since in India we dont know when there is going to be shock, its better to tell him that it will hurt him (tell him in a language he understands). Use the same sentence/message everytime. Tell him he cannot do it as it will hurt him. same thing everytime he tries, without yelling or screaming or beating. This will get the message to him that whatever he tries this is the response he is going to get.

3. Wants to do all by himself.
This is a very good trait that he is exhibiting . Unlike India, In the USA children are taught to be independent. So encourage it in situations where its safe and good. Like eating by himself, or wanting to wear clothes on his own. Or coloring on his own, etc.

Where ever there is any thing dangerous see whether you can eliminate the danger or reduce the danger to some extent, If no then then tell your toddler that its a No!! and cannot be done because he will get hurt.

But do not yell. Reserve the yelling only for extremely dangerous situations

All the best.

Tell me how it goes.

To mr. Somdutt. It was very surprising that inspite of being a parent councellor you did not give any useful advise and were only promoting your business. somdutt replied. hello mr gagan,
My name is somdutt and I am an Parent councellor by profession, After reading your words I feel that You are one of the luckiest parent where you find the child is so active. The only thing is that we have to use that energy in constructive direction rather then distructive. I can give you some guidelines after meeting your family and specially your child. I am from gurgaon if you think you need my accestence please give me msg .
This is the golden age what you have in your hand either you can make your child extra smart of leave it in others hand for future.
this is applicable on every parent specially who have child in the age group between 0-5 years.
take care and good luck Shalu replied. dear gagan,
i m a mother of a three and a half yrs old boy. after reading ur problem, what comes to my mind is that u should try to change ur strategy. instead of scolding n screaming at ur kid, just sit with him/her when he is in agood mood n try to explain him that if the tv gets broken, how will WE watch cartoon?? (i hope he understands ur conversation n likes cartoons). u try to DISCUSS aftereffects of his deeds politely with him...use \" we\" rather than \" you\" . for example- tell him our room (not ' your' room) will look dirty if we' ll break things n if we' ll not care for them. always try to address him as a ' good boy' n never loose a chance to appreciate even a single time he listens to u...like- say ' u are a very good boy...u listen to ur mom-dad at once' .
good luck n just keep try changing ur strategy till it works...pls don' t shout at him...this will make him aggressive.
bye...good luck again.
Teena replied. hi,
i have 2 yrd old baby..she was very rude and adament, but i am glad that i found out the reason for her behaviour..She is the best baby of the world for me now..1)She had to be with me all the time as i was only the care taker
2)Most of the time i was keeping my
eye on her
3)She had to tolerate my possesiveness
4)I never allowed her to play with switch boadrs as she always wanted o play with the electricity boards

I questioned myself instead of changing her attitude and behaviour,why dont i change for her then i tried these points
1)I have set up a swtich board with no power so that she can tickle with it
2)I took her outside for camel,elephant and horse rides..
3)I take her out more often to amusement parks or atleast temples nearby so that she can see people around,i leave her alone in the temple and stand at the corner to keep a eye on her,letting her explore the new place...this can help her realise yor importance..
4)Once in a week i give her choclates..
5) i try to imitate that if she breaks things indirectly she will also hurt me ..
6)I have joined her in the play school for 3 hours
7)I try to take her to the kids of her age playing around the colony and make friends with her..the moment i see her behaviour changing to be rude or adament i divert her mind towards the things she loves to do..
Hope this should also work for you both.Let me know if yes..I ll be glad to know your kids changing..



nilu replied. I too have the same problem. My son is 2 years 3 months old. He puts water on carpet. He will not just listen to me. He scolds and screams. I have no clue what to do. Anyone please suggest