Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,

I work in a very big company. My problem is that I cannot talk pleasingly. I cannot talk with a smile on my face. I am also scared to talk to people of certain personalities. With this behaviour of mine some peoplw are not comfortable with me. I have also seen some of them escape me. Please do not answer me by saying let them do what ever they want. I really want to improve myself. Hema replied. LK,

As I have mentioned earlier our environments shape who we are to a large extent.

I have this feeling that you might not have had a very trusted school or college or family life(either before or after marriage), which could have resulted in a suspicion syndrome and when you communicate with someone with suspicion and lack of trust, your guards are high, to protect yourself, as a result you can not be too pleasing.

I could be entirely wrong in the absence of knowledge about your past and present life. But if you feel I could be even remotely right, my suggestion would be, to ACT confident and start doubting intentions of people less, think that no one after all is out to cheat you and even if you give out what they want from you, they are in no position to really hurt you. Think that you are very special, what you know, others don' t. You are here in this job for your head, not for the papers or files on your computer, even if your office and working is completely open and transparent no one still can do what you can, so you have nothing to loose. People around you as such are not bad at all.

Finally let me ask you this: How is your relationship with your H? Are you irritated there too? Is your sex life regular and satisfying? Can you behave pleasingly with your maid? With the vegetable vendor or with the security guard at your residence complex? With the caretaker of water and other services at your residence? at the shops?

Please excuse me, if I have gone horribly wrong, I DO NOT intend to hurt you but want to help you. Hema replied. What you are talking about is your personality traits, and we are made out of our environments, which shapes our personality. So to help you modify yourself, some more info about yourself will be helpfull. For example I assume you are a female, how old are you? Are you married? Have children? What kind of job are you in? I may like to ask few more questions, after you have answered these baseline questions. Thanks.