Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi
i am married for 7 yrs now. have 2 kids. my marriage isnt working. but i decided to stay with in this marriage till my kids are old enough to understand. My Husband is a very loving and caring father. But not good at being a loving husband. we argue and disagree with almost everything. and i am sick and fedup with living like this. i dont mind sacrificing a few years for my kids. and it will be up to them who they want to stay with. I even dont mind my husband having an relationship with another woman. becoz its only natural he needs to see to his needs.
Tell me can this work out. we staying together for the kids sake. With no phyiscal or emotional connection with each other. its been 2 months now since we had sex too. and we just talk only when really required. has anyone lived like this. can this kind of life or living arrangement continue for say 5 yrs. please give me ur advise.
thanks a lots. Bob replied. Dear Lotus,

I am so sorry that you are in this situation. What I read is that you are ready to move on, but is your H too ready for that? If he is the contol freak that he has been, its quite likely that he would oppose your D plea tooth and nail. You need to have some very good grounds to seek a D. Do you have a supporting family with you? Do you have friends with whom you can discuss things in absolute details who could help you find a lawyer etc for you. Do you have money to fund your D suit against your H. You also have to leave home and stay away.

As I look at it, seeking a D may be due for you. But to do this you do need a lot of social and finantial support. Do let us know about this aspect.

Its very sad and I no way subscribe to giving in on bed just to satisfy him, when you feel used and its a psychologically traumatic to you. And you are hardly even in a position to let him know that! Has he ever been abusive? Verbaly I am sure yes, how about physical? Has he ever forced you into sex when you pleaded no? Does he have a relatiosnhip outside this marriage as of now?

May I request Rekha to come with her story more, so that people can learn more on such issues? rekha replied. lotus i am sailing absolutely in the same boat as that of urs..i feel the same as that of urs , but one diff , i just cant live without my daughter...i am sure since ur frustrated u are saying this .. can u imagine ur life without ur kids around..i assume its no ..even if ur single cant be away from kids for longer time..if u can that means u must be really strong..just think over before u take any step.. Bob replied. Well Lotus,

Do you work and earn money enough to take care of the kids? Its likely that your elder kid will have to go and live with your H, can you handle that?

1. You do not mind your H having another relationship.
2. You are ok with your children choosing to leave you and stay with their dad.

Whats are the differences with your H which makes you so desperate about this marriage?

Just two months of no physical relatiosnhip is nothing big, how was the frequency otherwise before 2 months? Did YOU enjoy those occasions or just gave in because you have to?

To answer your Q \" can this kind of life or living arrangement continue for say 5 yrs.\"

Yes it can. But why would you do it is a question to be answered still. Is your H too rich?