Relationships  Discussion Forum

Dear friends,
I am Lalitha,and i have been married 6years.Mine was an arranged marriage.My husband is decent human being with many good qualities, however he has always been partial to his mother and very negative to me and my family.More frustrating than this is that he is very selfish.He spends his weekends and time off sleeping or watching tv, and when asked to help he tells me i am nagging and yells at me.I used to try to argue with him to change his attitudes, but now i just tolerate as much as i can.I work and used to deposit my pay into the joint account.But recently he withdrew a sizeable amount for his mother without telling me.I was so frustrated by this and by his mothers free use of our account and then her comments that he is supporting me completely, that i open my own account.On this account i put my son's name husbands name and my name.I told my husband i was doing this to save for our son.But he is making comments implying that i am trying to be selfish and greedy.
Is there anything wrong in having a seperate account since i work? i am at aloss to deal with my husbands selfish behaviour...should i just keep suggesting he do something else, despite the fact he gets annoyed?Should i keep quiet and do all i can manage?
lalitha A replied. Hi Lalitha,
Although I don't disagree with Anu, I feel that your hubby should not feel bad about you having your seperate account. You can discuss with him your insecurity about his act of withdrawing the money wthout letting you know. Also, what you are doing is for the finance management of the whole family. Tell him that having seperate account doesn't mean that he doesn't have any rights on your money. Just try to talk with him and make him understand the purpose of your acct.

Love,
A. anu replied. i am also going throw same situation like u.it is bad that he withdraw money without telling u..you can ask the reasons why he did like that?..think abt the situation, did he remove the money for his mothers basic needs or medical expences??.he might be scared to tell u , u might refuse to give money?.or for wht else?.i don't mind as long as my husband gives to support for medical expence+ basic exp. remember it is every childrens duty to take care of parents to the extent they need(no matter how they are).abt saparate acct , i don't know , it is good for your marriage,it is going to be \";your acct\"; & \";his acct\"; not \";our acct\";. you need to talk to him , abt his behavior towards your parents, that is not aceptable. since you are earning, u have all the rights to spend on your parents too.