Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi guys,
I am regular visitor of this forum. I am actually tired of my in-laws. I had a baby boy 11 months back and at that time my MIL was very very interfering ( she still is) and to avoid her... I took up a job. That did help for some time.
Now I and my husband earn reasonably well.But the problem is my husband is having lot of debts on him and we want to clear that out a.s.a.p. as next year even my baby will start schooling. So i want to save for my baby' s education as it very expensive for us to get him admission in a good school.
But my FIL is fussy and so interfering, he wants us to give our whole salary to him and we keep on asking for pocket money from him, which I definitely am not open to him. Although I dotn mind giving a part to him. Even my husband agrees to it. but my FIL keeps a check on our bank accounts and as soon as we have salary deposited in that, he will come to my husband and ask for money. If my husband denies, then very next day, he will fall sick, say that he has chest pain, high fever and ask us to hospitalize him and then he balckmails my husband to give him money and mu husband finally gives up saying he cant see his father in such a bad state just for money. But what about me and my sons education??? I too want to save good amount of money for our future.
Its not only about money, he will interfere in each and every thing, where do we ( i and my husband go) which route we take, what clothes we wear, what should i feed my child with, how do i celebrate his birthday, what gift should my husband give to me, my sons mundan ceremony, or maybe even if i receive a phone call. He will inquire about each and every thing, my husbands office work, and how he should handle it. He pokes his nose on everything. If i speak with my husband about it, he says just let it be, they are like that only. just hear them from from ear and remove it from the other. Even my MIL is the same. She also keeps on passing orders and interfers a lot. I dont understand how do i deal with it. My inlaws are not even letting us separate out from them.I am feeling very bad. Infact, jokingly i have given my FIL a name POKEMON- a man who pokes his nose in everything. Please help, I am waiting for your reply.

Preeti priya replied. Palak,
Preeti is right.Just quit your job.The more you earn the more your in-laws depend as they feel you have abundant money.You only end up working hard but left with nothing.Its more a waste of time,instead you can spend the time with your kid.But think of other ways of income too,say some home-business or hobby business which need not be disclosed to everybody.You may not earn as much as you do now,but still something in your pocket is more worth than a lot in other' s pocket.Think about it. Preeti_agarwal replied. Hi Preeti,
I completely understand your situation. I would suggest you to talk to your husband about this. Just make him understand, how much you and your son are dependent on him. God forbid, if something happens to him, what you and your son will do, when you are giving all your savings to your in-laws. It is very difficult for us, because we can' t hurt our husbands in any way. But for your son sake talk to your husband. If your husband tells his parents,that you guys do not have enough money to support both the families, then may be your in-laws will understand. If that doesn' t work then start investing on somethings under your and your husband' s name. Do not disclose your salaries to your in-laws. If nothing works, stop working for some time. Because I think you should not work so hard, when you are not getting anything out of it. Just start enjoying your life. Keep a good understanding with your husband always. It really works.

Wish you all the best!!

Preeti Agarwal