Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi Friends,
I need your help dears. I have been into a relationship from 1.5yrs with a different religion guy.we tried to agree my parents but due to only caste & Religion problem my parents are not being agree for our relationship.But my in laws really loves me and cares for me. So just because my hubby and in laws really loves me, i did arya samaj marriage with him in presence of his parents. but i havnt disclose this thing to my parents. we will tell them in 1 month once he will come over from financial crises and we will register our marriage in legal terms.. I love my parents respect them from bottom of my heart but he is the one who is my life. In every step he is with me, he never told me to give up always tell me to try.They are your parents
Now I am at the point where i feel guilty at one side and cheated from other side... Cheated because now my hubby has changed. or may be i am wrong because now his behaviour really hurts me.

Actually he is very friendly kind of person, nice and funloving person..As he is also having a lot of friends that is not bad but the thing is that he is very inclined towards his friends.he even dnt care for him.u can call him \" 3 am friend\" always ready to do anything for them. i always understand him and having a good relationship with his friends. But there were so many things which really hurts me and even we discussed that but it comes to a fight with no solution or just with one line \" i will try my best to change myself but this is my swt life which i really loves\" . So i always tried to adjust on this part of nature of him.. There were so many cases in which i happily adjusted with him:
His best friend got married last month He wanted me to attend that marriage that was out of station so i told him we will move 2 days b4 her marriage due to my job but then we had a blunt discussion b/w us and then i agreed to move 2 weeks b4 her marriage & i gave resignation frm my job...
Another instance, we both wanted to move out for a trip to Kulu manali but he forced me to move mumbai jut becoz his friend got married in mumbai..and she was missing him badly. So we went out to mumbai but that tour was really pathetic experience of my life becoz there we didn' t enjoy even a single place becoz his friend and her husband were not interested in that things..and she really treated us very badlyy... So finally we came back after 15 dayzz and with a bad experience but still he is ready to do anything for her. now she comes to delhi and he was with him for everything she needed in delhi instead of my refusal becz i used to hate her as what happened in mumbai...

Now when we both are married, i went to my in laws home usually. one day he told me to move back just because His one more friend was coming at that timne and he didn' t tell him that he was with me.. tell me friends i am his wife now , that is my home as well..


Actully one thing which is the part of his nature that he always tried that no one can say that he changed becoz of his wife or he was always with his wife.. i never expect that he will give me importance but still as a wife , i am expecting priority in his friends.

I gave everthing to him i am ready to give everthing but now all these things really hurts me .. i am feel cheated on this side wheras i am feeling guility that i really took a such a big step of marriage without even consulting my parents.

there were countless instances where he move for his friends leaving me back and alone..and whenver i used to sorted out this issue we had a fight but now i have stop telling him and complaning him.. Tell me friends what to do? now a dayzz with these tnsion i am getting sick day by day..... But one thing is that he really loves me but for all his mistakes he always finishes with sorry...

But now i am fed with all that stuff.. please help what to do? is it my mistake that i am not adjusting with his nature and i m too bad for him..
geetha replied. I may sound rude harsh whatever you think but I think in this relation its only you who is suffering, there is no giving from his side to maintain this relation. With that his friends r more impotant to him then you. if not then speak to his parents and see what they say. for god sake tell your parents be4 they come to know from somewhere else then it will hurt them more then anything