Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello ,

I got married to a man who doesn' t know how to love his wife.I am very unsatisfied.I am not a very fair girl.Medium color.So he didn' t like me to get married.But for some reason he married me.And then started showing his hatred on me.i bared it..i cried...he never gave importance to me..i used to go to him and he rejects me...when I ask whom do you love most ? his answer is my mom , my brother and then you...Thats the place he gave for me in his life...became pregant ..was not even happy during that time...if say anything on his brother or mom..he will hit me hard...and ofcourse no present for either bday or wedding day..whatever..no honeymoon..no going out.so i have not received any love from him...and later after my child...he says he loves me so much...when i say i love my dad and my son...he feels very bad that I dont love him...dont know he realized his mistake..for some reason he started loving me...we have a son.now after going thru what he has done...my heart is broken and no love for him...how can he love me now...I see many husbands holding their wives hands...giving presents..showing love...whenever I see them..i always think..why i dont have such love..i cried cried ..does many thinkings...so my heart is completely broken...from the past year he started saying he loves me so much..but i dont have any feelings on him...whenever we fight I says..we dont love each other let seperate..he feels very bad...he said he cant live without me..he will die if i leave him...How can I trust all these ? He hated me for 2 yrs and hurted me and now he says he loves me so much.


My problem is I can' t love him.My heart is completely broken.I can' t forget what he did to me.He didn' t love me when i was expecting love from him , and he is loving me when i started hating him.

What should I do now ? forget everything and love him ? sometimes I think the same..but my heart is not listening to that...also how can I trust his love...

or dont forgive him..let him undergo the pain I have undergone..

Just need ideas..

sometimes I also think..divorce him and get out of this relationship.I know he can' t live without me now.But he deserves punishment.He should hurt ones heart.

Shed some ideas please...I have been thinking a lot..this is making me so stressful...
xx replied. Well said ladies.These things I couldn' t share with my family members , I alone was going thru ..and later thought I will post in forums..You guys are all awesome. Thanks to you all for giving nice advise.You all have a matured thinking...I will sure follow this..I will forget and start loving my husband...its true if i forget and love my husband..ours is happy family..you all cleared my confused mind...will update u how the progress goes...

Thanks once again.

Neeraja replied. I am very sorry for you my friend. But let me tell you onething, I know how you feel because I have gone through the same thing. My husband was very bad to me for an year. It was very hard to maintain that relation and forgive someone who hurt our feeling easily. Well we have to be practical in life emotional things will not last long. As others advise, You have to forget first then you will forgive your husband. I believe you have the feeling that after you had your son, because of your son your husband is coming close to you. Well that might be partially true too, but don' t you want your son to have his father? We all wanted to be loved by someone and treated as the most important person in life. Don' t you want to do that for your son? Tell your husband to forget that bitter experience he needs to do something special for you. Be frank, now that he wants to be close to his son, he will do those things. Giving a loving family to your son is more important than anything else. Once he treats your special, you will forget your soreness and you will be fine. Love doesn' t come just like that. You have to learn to sacrifice as well. mg replied. I too totally agree with geetha, actually because of films we are so infatuated with idea of love that we forget its true meaning, at times we connect love=flowers, presents, holding hands , running around bushes like films. yes ofcourse we miss all that , but we should see beyong it, my husband is a simple man, he does not know how to express love, but i know that he loves me and cares for me, even though he does not say it... so my suggestion would be forget the past and forgive him and enjoy your life ahead for your own happiness and your childs too, give your child a happy family. You will be happy if you forget. geetha replied. This is a first time I am writting in this section. What I will say is for the sake of your son forget what happened in past and start your life again. I know its very easy to write for me as what he has done in past with you, but think of your son that poor little boy will suffer more then anyone else.
don' t write yourself a unluck women, you are lucky, see you have a son and a loving husband (so what if he had stared loving you late)
I have been married for 10 years and i have never received any card or flower or any present, wont hold my hand etc when we are aout n about .but i don' t mind that' s the way he is, he don' t show of his love like this but, worship the ground I walk( I KNOW THAT)
go for a holidays and make most of it, let the broken heart mend.
if you get seperate, then are you going to marry again will new husband give same love to your son wot his biological father can give. I live in france and has seen many couple seperated and from that i can say kids suffer most.
stop thinking negative and stressing yourself what had happened in past forget it as a bad dream and start new life. this is my opinion.