Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have been married for the last 10 years. Has a 5 year old school going kid. We r staying in a nuclear family. Both of us are working. Always short of time. Now the problem is that.... he is not at all cooperative. I am managing everything cooking, washing, paying bills, child' s education and other household expenses. I love doing my duties , but only the thing that i need his help and support. At times i feel like that everything is on my head and my husband is taking me granted. My case has become more or less like a single parenting. He is not giving any money for household expenses. I have spoken to him number of times on this to help me out. Every times he promises me but nothing in practical. He has taken lots of personal and credit card loans, so whatever money he earns goes in repaying those debts. I suggested him number of times to handover his salary and let me manage those debts. Sincerely i want to help him out but he is not listening to me. only good thing abt him is that he loves his daughter a lot. I have told him that atleast help me in household jobs, like getting vegetables from the market etc. But nothing is working out. He spends his whole time in the office only and on weekend at home watching tv. At times i feel totally demotivated. I can' t think of seperation because of my child. Is something lacking in me? Please help me out in finding out a solution to this problem me replied. I feel the same a lot of times in my relationship with my husband. I have been brought up to be very responsible in day to day household matters etc..but not only he, his family too takes everything very casually.
I understand you. Lets look at his angle too.
-Your husband is paying the home loan and he may have very little money left to give you.
-He may have become irritated with your nagging about financial matters. He thus may have decided to give complete household in your hands including finance of same.
-When you say that he should give the finances in your hands and you claim to handle them better, he could feel humiliated and get stubborn about not sharing your responsibilities.
-If he is a good human being and loves you and your daughter, you can work on these issues.

Try to get him to talk his heart out to you somehow. Once he starts talking, he' ll become softer. He perhaps needs to vent out his feelings and also become comfortable with you emotionally. The bond is missing bec of which there is no care. Try it !
indian replied. hai

I think th ewhole hous eis on your head all the time...
read these points:
1. Has he taken loan for house hold purposes.if yes do not blame else find out what is this money for.
2. I think its high time you wake up from this routine.Is this happing since 10 years.
Another strategy is that you too spent the money you earn for a month or so and let him know that the money is required.

Involve him in all finacial matters regarding home.