Relationships  Discussion Forum

recently got married and am from a middle class Jain family. Now few months of my marriage there are a problems popping up in relation between my mother and wife. Wife being from higher middle class family has different way of living. For Ex. My mother says during puja etc (few specific days in the year) girls in periods should not touch things at home or do day to day activities while in all other days there are no such restrictions. My wife being from liberal family does not agree with her thoughts and feels that it restricts her freedom. So my mother suggested that in those days you can stay at your mothers place (being in the same town otherwise also she visits her family once in two weeks and stay there for a day or two) as they don’t follow any such thing. This will not restrict your freedom as well as I can do my religious rituals the way I want. My wife has refused to agree with that. When I supported my mothers idea which I felt was good to maintain the peace of house she fought with me as well.

My mother being a widow from past six years there are very limited options for her to spend time. If my wife continues to do such thing my mother will get frustrated in the life. Guys pls suggest me a way out. Pls remember that both my wife and mother are otherwise doing lot of compromises in their day to day life due to difference in standard of living. Pls don’t suggest me to stay in different house as I don’t intend to split my family at any cost.
Rakhi replied. well , in this case the only thing you can do is talk talk and talk , you explain your wife to have patience to maintain the peace ,and ofcourse always appreciating her efforts . Iam sure she will understand .In the meantime try to explain to you mother also to be not so rigid and be a little flexible meaning to be not so particular . Compromise has to be made from both ends and .
I know its easier to say than to do , but one must try .

Good Luck
Regards Rakhi replied. I completely understand how you are feeling caught between you wife and mother on such an issue and try to balance the relationship . I myself would be quite offended is I am asked o not to do anything during such days , but I think you have to tell your wife that though what she feels is completely right, but at the same time you cannot expect your mother to change her view and opinions at her age . Tell her diplomatically to go out shopping if she wants or to stay home , lie in bed and watch movies all day long , read or whatever that she likes to do . For us women to Not have to cook for whole family or to do daily chores couple of days would be the best break from the routine . so tell to just relax and enjoy while thing wind up around her without moving a finger.
Try not to make her feel that its the rituals ,but tell her just \" just take a break\" couple of days a month.
Hope things work out between you all .
All the best .
Thanks