Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi Ladies,

I am a working lady. Married for almost 2.5 year. Having a 11 month old kid.

I am working since past 4 years.. and started with a low salary. Now I am earning reasonable. And my hubby is getting almost 3 times more than what I get as salary.

Though mine was a love marriage but I really had to face a bad relationship with hubby initially because of my MIL . My in laws were totally against my marriage and I had to see aftereffects later on. Now, by the grace of God somehow my relation got fine with my hubby and things were fine with us since past 5-6 months.
My hubby has a bad habbit of borrowing monwy from me and never returning it. He gives lot of money to hs parents and very fond of investing it in various options. I have given him alnost 4-5 lakhs till date and never got it back from him though he always promise to return it back.

I never refuse him because I don’t want to ruin my relationship. When I question him about his investments and all he never gives a proper answer and stats manipulating things. But alsways tries to keep himself updaed abt my account balance. I am fed up.

Now he is planning t start a business and move back to his home town. I have decided not to go with him because my MIL will make my life miserable if I move to her place. I am very sure its very difficult for me to stay with her under the same roof. I want to convey this to my husband but do not have courage to do so as I know this would never be acceptable to him and I will ruin my relation.
What shall I do?? I would prefer to stay alone with my kid rather than staying with my MIL. I believe my hubby knows this and that’s why he has started keeping a hold on my hard earned money.I am very depressed and angry at him but cannot communicate this to him …. What shall I do ?
abc replied. Hello dear,
I would suggest you make some savings in the name of your kid and convey the same thing to your husband.This way you would save money for yourself and convince the same to your hubby.

And as far going to to your in laws place.Talk to your husband directly.Its rather correct to confront him directly rather than thinking.All the husbands are like always wanting to stay with their parents.After all its their parents.They feel its their responsibility to stay with them in their old age.Some times i feel fair enough.But not when its going wrong.Thay is when you have talk for yourself and for your kid.Tell him you ready stay close to their parents place but not in the same roof.Tell him they can maintain relation better by staying a bit far away rather than spoiling relation in one roof.

Dare to tell him.And as his wife and money earner you always have the right to know where money is going.You may have a big fight.But may be a 5% of what you are sying ,may be understood by him.Be strong.For the sake of keeping your realtion safe dont supress yourself.

And if you think you cannot go...tell him that...fight with him but make it clear.And save your money dear.
sss replied. hi ST,
if i remember right,you have posted here earlier also about how to handle money earned by you.so i assume that money has been a cause of tension b/w you and your husband earlier also.why is it so?as per you,both you and your husband earn well.does your hubby have any bad habits?where do you suspect the money goes?money he give his parents will be only reasonable,so i am not assuming that he spends all his money on his parents.if he invests well,and run the house well,what is the problem?why is he hiding things from you?may be it has something to do with your approach and he might be upset about the fact that you consider your money as your only.does he take decisions alone?didnt he discuss his wish to go back hometown with you?if he did then inform him about how you think about it.if he decided on his own,then your relationship is lacking something.try to work on it,both of you.please write more so that we can understand your situations better and give suggestions accordingly.all the best