Relationships  Discussion Forum

this letter is not about the particular saas-bahu issue or dh wife issue or any family issue.iam writing this bcoz i feel this is where i can confide .so pls bear with me,forgive me and advise me.
iam 24 yrs of age ,married(love marriage)now iam 8 months pregnant after 1 yr honeymoon.nice in laws all good.i was working till my pregnancy and due to some complications i had to resign.i had bed rest till 3rd months and my company couldn' t grant me leave till then.very sadly i left my job.
well from the beginning i was against this pregnancy.i somehow think iam way too young fro being a mom.my career is nowhere.iam not financially too good.too top it all i had such morning sickness i had to be admitted to hospital for dehydration.i lost my job.this is my first baby and neither of us actually cared for baby' s sex.
but all were giving me false hopes its baby boy and everyone still believes and is eager for that.but during my ultrasound i found its gal and wished it was wrong.no i have no prejudice against gal,but i felt always life was opposite to what i expected.i felt even god was playing on me pregnant wen i least expected ,no job wen i needed it most,gal wen i expected boy.a love marriage wen i wished for arranged .iam sick.
till yesterday even though i knew this was gal i was happy, i would have someone like me.my hubby is happy to learn its baby gal,he loves baby gals.but since yesterday i feel kind of hatred towards my baby .i feel she is the cause of me losing my job,becoming mom too young and what else.i don' t like and want the baby anymore.nothing is possible no,but still.i feel when she arrives i' ll be sad instead of happy.i feel i wont even be a good mum.i feel depressed.sometimes i even accuse my hubby for getting me pregnant.i feel my life useless.i hate myself and wish myself dead.do u think iam going depressed or mad? do i need treatment.
pls ladies i need genuine advise .has anybody ever undergone such a phase?somedays i pray god pls kill me.. RR replied. thanks everyone who wrote advises and consolation for me .i culdnt confide in anyone.now i am relieved .thanx to each and everyone.guess what my hubby is so hapy this is gonna b a gal.seeing him happy,watching my parents going shopping 4 my baby i think a new breeze is defenitely flowing towards me.few days ago mil sent me some delicacies which i so craved(all home made by her).i hope i will be like this ,now onwards
pls pray for us . hi replied. HI DEAR FRIEND


nothing wrong with you. sometimes we feel like this. especially when things happens just opposite to our plans. so you have the right to be upset. but this is real in life, most of the things in life happens without our planning. sometimes it may. someitimes things happen because it will be the best thing for us. especially the birth of a child is a very important and blessed moment of a woman. and you are not too young. maybe you are not ready. but you ahve enought time. get ready dear. baby will come only after 9 months. and it is going to change your life for ever. forever. you are going to be the mother of a child for the rest of your life. and it is the most important job of all.listen dear friend you can restart your career after your baby id born. sure. if you have the will you can. so that is not a problem. you are not too young. i will say you are at the right age. morning sickness it will go after 3 or 4 months. you willbe perfect. take this from the one who went through all these. and whether its going tobe a oy or girl doesn' t matter. your baby will make you feel the very best in the world. she will make you feel you are the most important person in the world. believe me. there will not be any moment in your life you feel lonely, you feel worthless. ONLY THING IS YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.
your baby will give you the courage to do things which you don' t dare will show you the hidden strenth in you. . this is not an accident. you cannot blame anybody for anything. this is your life. only thing you can do in oyur life is plan the very best and do your very best and be honest to yourself. then things go another way,let it go. it is supposed to be that way. follow with your whole heart. and when you open your eyes properly and leave behind your worries you can see the whole thing. and be happy.
also baby girls are more easy to handle than baby boys,at least for me. .so enjoy your pregnancy. like somebody said,get pampered. love your baby..just stop worrying and all negative thoughts. pray for your baby and say to her you love her everyday. she can hear you inderstand you. can feel all the thougths. she is a part of you. this is the best time of your life. enjoy. you have nice in-laws. what else you want girl? you can resart your career later.
you are not mad or depressed. this si just a normal reaction when things go out ouf our hands. you can get over it. when you realise what happened is the very best things. you have loving hubby loving inlwas and parents i think. so enjoy your pregnancy pray and get ready for the most awesome experience in this life. read some good bookds do some walking or excercises which are for pregnant ladies. eat healthy food. take care of yourself and the baby girl. who is going to be your best friend .
good luck enjoy.
sonali replied. yep, its not that uncommon to feel strange at unborn baby.Hmm...sometimes it happens especially when u didnt want pregnancy.
Still, once she is born, U' ll be the greatest mother and happiest lover to her! ok?! dont worry about ur bonding to her! i too lost my career for my baby and she is 4 now, still I' m not going for job. I worked before her and now, for her sake staying home. Sometimes it gets me mad to sit home. But i convince myself, this is for my baby.

So, dear RR, dont worrry, these negative moodswings never last too long, Also, never affect your bonding with ur girlchild.OK!!
So, stay cool and think she will be the wonder in ur life so, invite with beatiful positive mind. Dont say its not in ur hands,
Just its in ur hands to divert ur mind!

If u start hating, ur hubby might start it too.For u, Its easy to love her when u see her, But for him, it might be impossible to regain his love for baby... So , be careful and never expose ur negative thoughts on baby!

Ok, bye, take care! mandeep replied. i totally agree with sss.u r lucky that u r going to have baby on right time, think about those who r unable to have a baby n regarding job I closed my very very sucessfully running business when i come to know i was carrying n have no intention to start again or do any job. i use to make 3 to 4 times more money what my husband earn as a CA now . my hubby works we r on half the income or less what we use to earn, but to be with my son n see him growing,looking at his shiny eyes n those naughty smiles r worth billions of pounds. so be happy welcome that lil darling with a smile on your face. sg replied. As SS rightly said, it is mood swing... Even I had faced the same in my pregnancy. Giving birth to baby was my dicission .. I felt that I am not cared, no one loves me care for me ... All those things came to my mind and I went mad ... I behaved badly so other people... I lost all relationship... I was soughting at my sister, husband , in laws ...
I managed to recover my relationship with my sister as she understood me..
After 3 yrs of my delivery still I am not able to recover my past relationship.. Still my relationship with my husband is not better.

Please you don' t repeat the same... You are not going get anything out of this... Think positive. Listen to some good music .. Watch some program on Astha channel (if possible at 7:10PM)... Pamper your self ... Don' t think abt ur carrier... you have long life to think..
I din' t have any affection to my kid before birth.. but after he was in my hand since then he is the greatest asseet in my life... sss replied. hi RR,
i know you are pregnant and is bound to have mood swings.but this is too much girl.why are you blaming others for what you did with your life?is it somebody' s fault that you had a love marriage?
learn to take responsibilities for your actions and believe in you.its not correct to blame your husband and how can you even think of blaming your soon to be born child?you are being cruel here.and as per science,20-25 is the best time for being pregnant first time.before that it is considered early and after that,its late(i understand lots of people go for it,but still,as per doctors,it is late).you have the maximum chance of having a healthy child if you are 20-25 yrs old.so dont regret what happened.and if you are determined,you can restart your career after your baby is one or two yrs old.all the best for a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery.
sss