Relationships  Discussion Forum

we are married for 6 months.my husband wants to settle in US for the next 2-3 years.but i dont want to go there. reasons r i cant work,my parents r here,his parents r here. our friends r here. i am really apprehewnsive of living in a foreign country.i dont like it.
there may b ppl here who r living outside india. can u share your opinions on this

sriya replied. hi Neha,
as others said if u have good job, there is no point in coming to US.i got married soon after my engineering & came to US 5 years back.my life has been a hell since hen.i was a very good student, had lots of dreams about my career, but i' m sitting at home depressed since i' m on H4 visa.i have no job, no friends here to talk to.people dont even make friends here.indians here have lot of attitude.i have forgotten how to speak.i have got into deep depression, lost all my self confidence as i' m at home.i' m going through hell now.i' m so lonely.i love having people around me, but i dont have anyone here.
so this is what i feel.think about what u want in life & then take a wise decision.
all the best!! ss replied. I agree with rest of the girls who has posted their experience in response to your question. I myself has gone through same hell for 5 yr. when I decided to come to usa on dependent visa and left my University Lecturer reputed job . I did not do my research and was always dreaming the rosy life in foreign country. I did not realize that life is going to be hell (specially if you have good career and you feel dead by sitting at home). I used to miss my parents so much and cried every single day.. sometime I remeber crying for 10 hr. a day without any stop. Unfortunately my supportive and loving husband also turned into a davil after coming to USA. He used to abuse me non stop on every single thing. MY life was nothing but a living hell away from my love ones, parents, no job, no H1, no friends or family in USA. I went into deep depression and cannot write all that what I faced in my life after coming to USA. I am not saying that this happens to everyone or will happen to you. But what I am trying to say here is that I also had beautiful dream of my life before coming to USA, which all turned into a horrible life. If you both have good job back in india and loving family there. I would say not to come to this country. Grass is not always green from the other side but each one of us has different circumstances and experience from life. My 2 cent
- ss neha1 replied. actually,i want to work. and can u give me more advice on how to get a visa etc. i know there r consultants. but do u know of any reputerd ones in chennai/banglore? a replied. if u have both have good jobs then pl. pl. dont move. India is best place to live no matter how much pollution, electricity problem or water problem is there but it is our own country. u can enjoy. I never want to marry abroad but when i saw my hubby (he is born in UK n before him i rejected 7 proposals from US n Canada cos i dont want to marry abroad ) for the 1st time i know he is the one n we said yes to each another on the spot after 1/2 an hour meeting n was married in 28 days. its going to 10 years n we have a happy married life. we both love each another,i phone twice a day to my mom n go to india once a year but there is something which i always missed here dont know what but there is a emptyess some where.after my own wedding i have not attended any wedding. as a dream of newly bride wearing sarees or jewellery n dressing up r still dream for me as i have not yet even open my sarees etc u know what i mean. i miss when there r festival i can hear crakers on phone n i sit n cry here. some time when all family is gather at my mom place enjoying i just sit here quitley. life is colourless. if i get a chance i will deffo go back but i know that' s . neena replied. neha,
' 12' gave u realistic advice.
can ur present employer sponser your work visa ? talk to job consultants if they can arrange some work opening for you in U.S. But this may or may not happen.
If u can be happy being a housewife and rainsing kid,then only go on dependent visa. otherwise what is the point of sitting home n keep cursing ur situation when u want to join a job. Ask ur hubby to think abt both of u profession wise. 12 replied. all through my childhood, school i studied hard and dreaming that i will have a successful career, but i got married right after my engg and came to US on dependent visa. There is not a single day without tears in my eyes since then, now its been 3 yrs and software industry wants experienced people or freshers neither of it do i have now. this is my fate.

If u want to work that too good job wrt ur education dont come to US on dependent visa where u cant work legally. If u would be happy being housewife having kids etc then surely u would love US coz u r away from ur in-laws. Many housewives enjoy here, but not those ladies who want to have a career with a dependent visa where u cant work i.e H4, F2 visas.

people will advice u if u tell them u r bored in US, their advice will be learn American accent, explore new places, go to library, make friends, cook good food, clean ur house, study... but this is all waste when u dont have peace of mind without a paying job... atleast i feel so

this is just my 2 cents.... u will surely get different suggestion on this forum.