Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,

I have few questions if u could answer it would be gr8:
-- when u have fight/argument with ur hubby, how do u react, do u ask sorry the same day?

-- how does the argument impact your mental health,does it distract u too much

i m having a hard time with this please give me some ideas. I m studying n its eating up my time as i keep thinking the same things over and over. I know its silly, but i have asked so many times still my hubby does not hold my hand even once in a blue moon, while shopping etc........ i m going into depression Saheli replied. -- when u have fight/argument with ur hubby, how do u react, do u ask sorry the same day?
Most times one knows what stirred the argument. If I know smething that I said has hurt him or triggerred the argument, I say sorry, whenevr I realise it, and without any ego.

-- how does the argument impact your mental health,does it distract u too much
Earlier it used to. But now its been 8 yrs for my marriage, and with time I have learnt to make my happiness not dependent on hubby. So if there' s been any argument, I continue my life - my office, kids, fun with kids, eating what I like... et al ... and all this without worrying about the argument or thinking about him.
Being like this wasnt easy. But we generally see that men can be indifferent and cool when there' s an argument and that taught me the lesson (although I believe that men to feel the hurt somewhere deep inside).

So thats my story as of today. My hubby and we have very rare arguments and cold-wars are almost negligible (touchwood), but after all these years of married life this happens. Earlier, I too have passed thru a phase like yours. A week wd pass without talking and I wd just wait for him to come and hug me and love me and talk to me ... but most times it would be a third party to start the communication betn us. Someday, in one of the years, when there was no argument and we were goody-goody and just talking abt love n life, I happened to tell him what I go thru when there' s a fight betn us.

Told him how I loved him and how I wd wait for him ... and then our talks went into details .. we talked about who makes mistakes, who shd say sorry ... etc etc .. and we ended up promising each other that if one knows its his/her mistake, will say sorry without any ego.
Thankfully it has been working for us all this while!!

So \" clear communication\" is the key. See if it helps.

(and you know what ... men too feel the same. Just like us, they too like and want to be attended, hugged, pampered and asked for sorry ... try it out!)

And on a lighter note, these days our life has been so busy with our jobs and 2 kids that even if we happen to hv an argument, we mostly end up forgetting about it and do not realise when we start talking again! The argument just gets lost in thin air!!