Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi
ihave been married for 8 yrs and had a love marriage. My problem is that my hubby is very selfish. he gives me the least possible amount of money to run the house, doesn't take us out (i have 2 kids)ever, whenever he's at home he wants to either sleep or watch TV. I started doing a job a few months back so that i would not have to ask him for money every & then. Still everytime the electricity bill or school fees, he starts cribbing . though i have learnt to ignore him, still it hurts that even after so many years he's cribbing about expenses like groceries, milk etc.I have told him many times that his attitude hurts me & he also knows that i don't spen even a rupee extra. at the same time, i also know that hi behaviour is due to the fact that he was made to crib for every rupee by his parents. Still, at times i feel very hurt & depressed for days. any suggestions? Js replied. Its really sad that ur husband doesn't understand u need money to run the family. Instead of asking him to give the money for the expense, ask him to buy everything. Send him to buy groceries and pay all the other bills.

Js sangeeta replied. hi another friend,
when i read ur message, i felt as if u were echoing my exact thoughts. yes, i certainly don't plan to leave working (though its very hurting to leave 2 kids behind), but its atleast better than asking for money every 2nd day ( i never got more than 200/- rs in one go - in 2day's expensive times)the only thing that hurts me is that since the time i've got married my husband has taken lakhs of rupees from my parents - & everytime he's taken it as a loan saying that he'll give it back, but never did. but everytime he has to give money for daily needs he literallly makes me beg for it again & again. ya, u are right - its very difficult to change somebody another friend replied. Your husband has this insecurity about money deeply sunk in his subconscious mind from long time back. You cant revert that habit for years until some miracle happens to change him overnight. All you can do is still work outside. I too have a husband like you. Though I dont come from a house who spend lavishly I found it very difficult in the beginning after marriage when my mil and husband would keep taunting me about saving money. Talking with them did not work for me. It only lead to more heated arguments. I am happy about working outside. I dont mind their cribbing but surely do not want to beg them for money. friend replied. Hi you may not believe it but some people are like that!
My husband will get involved in things only after complaining or grumbling! In the end he enjoys but not a day has gone by that he wont complain.
Sometimes it really hurts but most of the time I've gotten used to it. Its a sad fact of life