Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi Ritika, If you remember once I had mentioned that I had problem regarding my husband insulting me in front of others...and I had thanked you saying that my problem had been solved and Iam happy but things are back to square one.There were few trivial issues over which the same behaviour was repeated but I had let it go but now it was very dreadful.It was the day of my kids results eveything went fine in the morning we even went to the temple to pray.In evening he told me that we should visit one of his friends place so he asked me to call them up and fix the time meanwhile he called up another friend of his and asked him to get some eating stuff from the market so that both of them could sit and chat on this I just told him that if he had to call another friend why did he tell me to call the other family to whom are we going to attend and how much can we eat on this he just asked me to shutup and walked annoyingly,I was in tears and I told him that if it would have been any other lady instaed of me she wouldnt tolerate such behaviour so he started walking out when I asked him where he was going he said he is not answerable to me,when I resisted he started hitting himself badly and his forehead was bleeding he also told me that he made the biggest mistake of his life by marrying me..After my toil of 15 years I got this result.I nursed his wound and our children asked us both to say sorry and that we should not fight atleast for their sake.After this he is just not talking to me as though ther is no relation between us.Why doesnt he talk about his problems like a matured person ,I fail to understand I feel I should end my life but when I think of my kids Iam totally shattered,I have no one to talk,he is not willing to talk,my inlaws are always on the move to give me more trouble where do I go?? sad replied. I see lots of man with this kind of rude nature and short tempared. I myself don' t know why they are so indifferent from there wife' s imotion and feelings. It is impossible to change man like this. My husband is also like this. If I dare to question anything from him where something is not making sense to me. He will start his tempar tantrams and treat me with rage and feeling of punishment. He can do anything to torture me by getting disappeared from home for weeks (with no notice and cell ph. off), running away from home, not talking to me for months and even yr. , taking a \" Moun vart\" and just talking to me by writing short answer on a paper. I have even consultated with dr. about his behavior and he has described sort of mental disorder . I myself was not able to understand these man out there ..what is in their mind when they marry someone? why the hell they marry if they are marrying someone to just make slave or torture that girl imotionally.? If u turn to inlaws for a help- most of the time they will enjoy your problem with all sort of spices talk with other relative. The best thing is that you try to avoid these kind of siutation by not asking much to him and keeping your mouth shut. becasue some husband don' t like if we question him.. they will torture their wifves even more.. hello replied. Few men r like that...

I had few problems in my married life... like he would not explain as to where is going too. he used to just say\" i am going out\" and that' s it... it really keeps you wondering whatr is wrong with these men. And if only we do the same... we do can expect a great earthquake at home.

I shall give you a small tip here what i practised.... When he gets angry u please b quite. When things calm down and when in good mood ask him about it.Atleast my husb. used to tell me all that happend during the day when he is left alone for some time peacefully.

About the friends visit i guess u could have handled it differently..i guess leave him to his friend and u had to just call the other friend and tell him what had happened. Puts a little pressure on him too as the truth was told.

Always remember that only when two hands clap there is a noice/sound. To avoid your anger for that moment count 1 to 50 numbers/say your manthras/prayer etc. it helps you a lot to get out of the situation. Think over the incident very carefully and plan it in your mind before you confront/talk to him.

That' s how life is...
sweety replied. hello neha, some incidents and actions of husbands are not questionable. in that case, just do what he says.

I can see the refection of my father in ur words, he does as he wish and if my mom questions he hits himself, starve for days togather, donot talk for some 2 to 3 months and make many nonsense things infront of us. he is a kind of extreme short tempered and adament case. These people cannot be changed and my mom lived for my sake.

Basically, We feel that they should answer our questions, respond to what we ask, tell us what he is going to do. We are particular on that. But most man avoid saying all explanations to wife. I donot know why it is. Even my husband makes me innocent in many issues and tells that it is not necessary for u to know. i am also hurt, but if i do the same thing, i.e not saying that i went here, i bought this, i spoke that, he makes a big issue and tells everything to his parants as i am doing something wrong at his back. donot know how to solve these things and make him understand that what ever we do, we should decide togather.

But hitting himself is bad and u try to start first to talk from ur side and tell him life is to be lived beautifully with lovely kids and why to fight for other unnecessary issues. It is on ur talent to reduce his short tempered nature. And please donot fight infront of kids.