Relationships  Discussion Forum

My wife always lies too much. Beacuse of this habit we had a big misunderstanding and went up to divorce. Immediately after marriage we had 3 months seperation. After that I had reunion with her and now blessed with a beautiful female kid. Still my wife have such habit of lying too much. For example if some one says her that they cannot come to my house function due to some work, she will till me that, he refused to attend our function, when I ask that person why the problem starts. She used to abuse lot of my relatives and friends that they are trying to misbehave with her. She used to have a proper food, but tells me that she didn' t cook and fasting. She used to have a sound sleep and tells me nextday she didn' t sleep. Please suggest me how to correct her. Namita replied. she is not unncessarily lying. some people have this habit bcoz of their upbringing. may be she have same culture at her home .. i can say this bcoz my IL' s have this habbit, my MIL will reduce the TV volume n watch all serials, TV gets on as soon as my FIL moves out of home. My FIL opens door with key he never knocks so when she hears the lift voice or while opening door my MIL will immediately switch off the Tv with remote and if or if not my FIL inquire abt wht she was doing she will start ... i didnt eat much today, i m contiously doing work .. even now i was folding cloths or newspaper ... all lie ... n now her daughter have grown up in very similar manner... they even hide where they go like if they are going at some relatives place they(both FIL & MIL) vl say they are going to market .. unncesarry lie .. bt with bad intentions

so as i said their daughter is behaving exactly the same (thank God my husband dnt come under this category) tommorow after marriage this girl vl behave same way with her husband

n i feel same thing is happening in ur home .. may be for ur wife this is normal ... but for us it is not

u tell her clearly that i give u every freedom .. freedom to eat/sit/watch/do whtever u want ... so i dnt expect u to lie as i can make out wht u do n wht u speak ... otherwise our realtions vl spoil ahead n it will affect u

then see wht her reactin is .. if she is not lieing with any intentions then she vl definately take effort to change ST replied. Hi,
there is a possibilty that ur wife is not lying.. probably u r not able to judge her properly. Have a deep look at ur relationship.Have uoui ever observed how your relative treat her ?? try and observe that first .. there is a possibility that ur relatives must be treating her nicely in front of you but in your absence things might not be the same.

if she is lying for small things like not having food, she is looking for ur attention. Try and give most of ur attention to her... but I think after having a child she must not be having time for all such tantrums.Love her as mush as you can and you will surely see the difference. Sharadha replied. Hi,
Saying silly lies like \" didn' t eat\" \" didn' t sleep\" are meant to simply attract your attention. But things like friends/ relatives are trying to misbehave, are a bit serious statements though,I guess she simply places importance to herself & doesn' t mean anything else. First of all, make up your mind not to react for all these statements.
Not sure if she is doing this only to you after marriage or has been doing ever since her childhood. Maybe a sense of lonliness or being neglected might have made her say such things to grab attention. Kids lie to elders. Its a normal fear of power. As they grow in a good surrounding their confidence level and maturity increases and eventually they stop lying as they aren' t scarred of anyone anymore. But some may continue to lie for fear of being punished or to simply shift the burden.
All they need is self-confidence and some serious attitude adjustment.
Handle this gently, as its a very sensitive issue dealing with one' s inner self. May be her low self esteem that has made her say such things to you. Without confronting, tell her that she need not say these silly lies to you. Tell her that you' ll love her for who she is no matter what. Make her feel she is safe around you and that there is no need to be scarred of you for anything at anytime. Make it obvious that you would be more happy if she is frank and outspoken with you.
All she needs is your unconditional love & some motivation to change her attitude and eventually herself.
If she is interested in reading, Just get some self development books concentrating on developing one' s self esteem and how to over come fear. That may help her out to some extent.
With positive attitude handle it in a gentle way. Wish you good luck.
Shara.. hello replied. i think some people have this problem. saying unnecessary lies all the time. if you really want to solve this problem need a lot of patience. otherwise will result in fighting. i am sure. i think these people want to get all attention or they are feeling inferior that' s why telling all these lies. so you will give her more attention when she says she didn' t get sleep . or she wants more sympathy and want to emotionally overpower you by saying she is fasting like that.
so you love her irrespective of this and show her firmly that no matter what you love her . and when she says lies like fasting and all don' t mind it at all. but when she acts normal(if she) love her and bea good partner to her. show a little more affection when you feel she is acting good. anyway she is your wife. so she is an inseparable part of you if you really want your marriage to work. accept it and make her indirectly understand that she can be normal and you love her. these all crooked ways don' t help like that. slowly she will fell the difference and if she is good she will get the idea./ also when she say things about others AND IF IT IS NOT TRUE tell her catually. it is not the way you think like. don' t fight if you really want to work thisout. be patient and try. all the best. friend replied. my mother-in-law has the same habit of too much lying about everything & everybody. whole family is vexed with her lies.

i think these people need counseling.