Relationships  Discussion Forum

i am 28 years old and my husband is 32 years old.
we have a beautiful 3 year old child. i always wanted 2 kids but lately i am feeling that what we have is enough. my husband always wanted only 1 child, now he is asking for 1 more. my in-laws are pressurizing us to tell some \" good news\" . we are financially sound but i have lot of problems from in-laws side which is a mental stress for me. my 3 year old is a very picky eater so i have to struggle to feed the 3 meals everyday. i am in a dilemma to have another baby or not. i don' t know if i can stand the demands of 2 kids and bothering in-laws. my husband is helping but he can' t do anything about my in-law' s critisizing nature. they just hate me very much and keep saying mean things about me, my parents and my brothers all day which depresses me. i don' t feel i have the energy and interest to get pregnant which i had when i had my 1st baby but at the same time i want to have my child to have a little brother or sister. please suggest me if i should go ahead and get pregnant or should i be happy with 1 baby? Nick replied. Hi
I am a full time working mother of 2 kids who are 3 years apart.My elder is 4.5 and my younger 15 months.
I am in the US so no help.Its been very hard for me while I was pregnant the second time ,working, taking care of 1st child and doing all the housework for 9 months.And hubby doesn' t help much even now.
Its hard even now all my days in office I work and the second I bring my kid home my job as a mother starts .


But inspite of all the hardships I have faced and am facing the moment when they play and smile with each other is worth everything.Some days for me are crazy ..even now my younger daughter wakes 3 times in the night ..
I am tired exhausted all the time ...but I tell myself that this is temporary and they will grow up soon and I will never get this stage again..

So its better if the child has a sibling ..its going to be hard initially but in the end its all worth it ..their smiles will tell you that ..
mother of two replied. hai everybody

i am a mother of two kids with a age difference of 2.5 years. I would like to share my experience here. Hope this will help you take a decision by yourself if to go for the next child.

1. The period of pregnancy is quite a dificult time. This requires full support of the people around you.The main issue here is u would have to take care of yourself and the first child.....the regular doc visits, cramps.... the list goes on.
2. Delivery... the next important step... the hospitalisation....etc full support from the famliy is req.
3.Post Delivery....full support from the family
4.The first one and a half years is real hell.. both the kids require you.the maximum a motherhood demands ...
5. The years after this is just fun and only fun..
6. The fun part: They just enjoy, play with each other( there r fights too but that is common right) they do not need you any more in the sense for their activites, playing etc...

I really enjoy watching them do things together. To sum it i vote for 2. its two and a half years of the mother' s complete sacrifice that would reap us a great deal of happiness to c them grow together.Do not worry about the financial part it just comes along.

I am happy to say i had full support from my husband and from my family. sonu1 replied. i am also in the same boat as you...problems were always there with my inlaws and it got worse after the birth of my son 20 months ago...and now they just call to speak to my son and their son.....i was also in the same dilema whether to have another child or not but then i went ahead with it as didnt want my son to be the only child if god forbid and something happened to me or my husband atleast they have each other....it also makes a differene for the 1 st child as he/she has someone to play with....at first i felt the same as u and didnt want anymore but then i was thinking i am being selfish and just have to deal with the situation when it comes to it...i am now 8 months pregnant with my second one and everyday i look at my son i think its the best thing i did is to have another child.
But this pregnancy has made me stronger aswell as now i know how to deal with my inlaws and haev no hestitation in telling them to butt out as in 8 months of my pregnancy they have never foned once to ask how i am or the baby is doing...so to hell with them and i wll be damned if when the baby comes and they want to the get involved and tell me what to do, i will then tell them where was u when i was carrying the baby for 9 months....sometimes u have to be cruel to be kind as otherwise these people just work all over you.

anyway thats my thinking...hope it will help u in making ur decision.

take care almost alone replied. Hello confused !

I can not suggest much on you what to do, as myself sailing in the same boat, I am fulltime working, and with a 3 yr kid. my age is 30. there is no support from my husband or in-laws only stress all the time. I sometimes feel my kid should have company of own brother/sister, specially in US when he doesnot have regular company of other children.
But looking at my current circumstances I have decided to be happy with one child, give my quality time to him.

If you get pregnant now which means for another 1.5 to 2 yrs your kid will become 2nd priority for you. Do you have somebody to support your child when you will be going through all this? Pregnancy may get complicated, early child care days are little tough, if you have strong support system, then only think about bringing another life in this world.

Otherwise spend your quality time, money etc on your kid. and feel yourself lucky that God has given you one healty, beautiful child. there are many parents those are still praying for one. (atleast thats what I do ...)


In-laws and other relatives don' t have any work and just keep asking you for ' Good news' , you should start questioning them back on their weak areas.
or tell them \" good news\" was given three years back , now NAME( your child) is your world.


Just my two cents....

good luck with whatever you decide !!