Relationships  Discussion Forum

I think you might remember me, from my postings.
A few things i hadnt mentioned...but since you might not remember the whole story....just a little reminder...

my husband based on his dad, told me not to come home (im in school taking an exam), im 7 mths pregnant now, havent spoken with him in almost a month. he hasnt asked a single word about the baby.

the whole story is under ' crazy story' topic.

anyway..some things i hadnt mentioned....or did in a different way...
my husband has been verbally and emotionally abusive with me...i have been hurt many times by his words alone.
also, one time, he physically abused me when he bit me on my arm. He was upset because he thought i wasnt loving him enough or something like that...and when i tried to make it better, tried to cuddle and show him i loved him, he bit me on my arm. i had a bruise on my arm for about a week. he apologized, ' looked sorry' , but that was it. even after that, he was very verbally abusive, very emotionally abusive.

in a few weeks, his parents, my parents, all of us, are going to sit down and talk about this...because its not something that can go on. i havent told anyone about him biting me...i was afraid to...i kept it a secret, but i think its time to tell everyone.

but i know, he' s gonna act like it was a one time thing, not a big deal. how do i make everyone understand that it IS a big deal...its not acceptable...its not a little thing that happened...how do i make everyone understand that and make it a point to make sure they understand how my husband, AND my inlaws have treated me??

any thoughts? Namita replied. whome you want to make listen ... is it ur parents or IL' s .. if it is ur parents then i dnt see any prob. they vl definately trust you when u tell them ... tell them tht u r informing them abt all this abuse now bcoz u thought u they shud b aware abt everything whn all of u sit to talk

if you are thinking how to make ur IL' s listen .. then its worthless ... no need to think, they shud hve understood it by now ..

abt. Mithai' s comment to u ... i feel she is also not wrong bcoz my life ws also hell for initial stage, bt slowly my DH started understnding me .. bt as far i know in ur case ur DH looks worthless .. always remember u have to be ur own judge, u judge all the situation n decide whther to leave or stay ,,, ALL THE BEST mithai replied. Reding throug ur post..happy to know that u guys going to talk and short things out.please chandra think twice before taking any decision because you are not alone ..soon you are going to have a baby who needs you & his/her father also.u think he doesnt care about u and ur baby..but u know what he cares..right now he is very angry and confuse..angry because he can' t tell his parents how much he loves u,needs u..that might hurt their feelings..he needs ur support ..kind of investment u know.u invest ur love,compromise..u will get back more than what u invested.u may think I am giving u bhasan but believe me I had been there in ur place(not pregnant)..have been married for 8 years..first few yrs was like living in hell,dh didn' t want to listen about his parents ,inlaws were very nagging,interfereing(still are)..but now I am verry happy that I gave the relationship some time to grow and gave him a real chance as well to see that he really wants this marriage to work.I used to think -ve about my marriage..one day I was talking to my mom about hubby ...my mom asked me that if my best fiiend badmouth about ur mother what whould u do? I wouldn' t see her face again' ' Nd I realized what my dh was going through .
u wrote that before M ur dh was man of your dreams..he was so nice to u..I hope u can bring out his nice side again..I think its his ego which is kepping him away from u.he is just an anari..if he not stretching hand u do it..he will do it soon..and let the baby come nobody can keep ur hubby away from u.all the best.

Namita replied. u are really a strong lady ... bt no need of becoming extra strong by accepting all his non-sense we do accpet such things to save our marriage .. bt accepting is feasible only and only if he is ready to change otherwise tell everything to ur parents ... better is to move out of marriage if he is not goign to change ... u can bring up ur child of ur own, u are educated and earn well ... ur parents shud b supportive .. i knwo it is very hurting not only for us bt for our parents also bt instead of staying in abusive relationship and being unhappy thru out life u can choose to b happy with ur parents n child