Hi, I have a 6yr old daughter.I was a part time working mom & so I was with my daughter for almost 24hrs.Last august I delivered a premature baby boy & so I had to stay in the hospital 4 1 month.At that time my daughter behaved like a very understanding girl n she stayed with my in-laws with much fuss.The problem started after I came home.I think she has developed inferiority complex.I try my level best to be with her but as my baby is weak I have 2 pay more attention to him.She doesn´ t listen 2 me at all.Ours is a joint family n every time i prevent her from doing something she complains 2 my mother-in-law.In return me m-i-law starts giving me instructions on child bringing.I get frustrated n i end up scolding her n occasionally beating her.I don´ t know how 2 behave.Please help. sonia replied. hi! Rachana, first of all congrats for the new baby. and about your 6 yr old. well, u would also know - it' s hard to share a mom. for her she' s had your undivided full attention for 6 yrs. so .......... there' s the explanation. i had my son an yr back and surprisingly sibling rivalry starts at 1 yr. of age. when the baby starts to ask u to lift him up and carry around. when u' re running after them when they' r crawling and walking. i am happy we have passed that stage with flying colors. but it wasn' t just magic. a lot of patience, love and time has gone into doing so. u r in a way lucky that u' re in a joint family. u can seek the help of others.

take it easy. just spend QUALITY and not really quantity time with your little girl. one special time of the day - make it a routine to spend time with her. only with her. make her feel special and u know don' t forget to involve her in the everyday baby routines. i involve my little girl and it turns out she checks me everytime i give big pcs of food or something. then u will feel - u' re so blessed to have a daughter first. she' ll be the little baby' s nanny. children all ages need attention. they r like a well. u just have to keep pouring and pouring water and it just never seems to fill. really, she is doing this out of attention and not anyone' s attention - your' s. so ask her what she would like to do with u - read books or some art activity or something together or just a walk. tell her and talk to her about your feelings for her. she will consume all and respect u and love u even more. u will see the change. give it some time. give her time to adjust. i have gone thru all this. i prepared her in advance for a lot of things. and it bacame easy on her and on us too. i made sure my daughter went with us for the ultrasound - was fully prepared for a baby. even so that i had described how i would look like in the hospital when she would come to meet me after the baby. and beleive me - it worked like a charm and it really helps to talk and prepare them in advance. it really does. and another thing i did was to indulge her into a couple of activities like classes. so that she is busy and u will have to spend time with her. otherwise she will feel differently for the new baby and blame u forever to favor him over her. don' t let this feeling overcome her. this is a phase and it will pass. u have to play double roles here. as mothers we always have to. but do take help of others like your husband too. it is tiring and overwhelming. but believe me this shall pass too.

beating and scolding is the easiest. but what r u teaching her. she will eventually never think of coming to u when she really needs u. indulge her - talk to her and ask her what she feels. my little girl is so talkative - everyone in the school know my son is turning one. that pride comes with confidence and that u can only give. as a mom u' re irreplaceable - give her time to adjust.

enjoy your children ! they grow so fast. all the best to u !

regards,