Relationships  Discussion Forum

I am here to share some habits/nature of my hubby which has brought in resentment towards him. I would like to know if there are any new ways to tackle it. without getting into other details I am putting the specific examples here.
1)As we are working couple and husband usually very busy I believe few mins (10/15 mins) during breakfast shud be spent talking to our only son who is 5 yr old.
I must have told this a million times to him but no use. If todays paper is already read he reads ydays paper. and my poor kid is always waiting for his dad to raise his head so he can talk to him. This scene every morning makes me sick and angry. I have tried explaining him in all possible ways the importance of talking few words to our son ..he listens .. and says he will do that but tomm its the same thing repeated

2) I used to share day events with him after he returns but now I have completely stopped. I dont talk at all. Reason : He is not interested to listen . By the time I start the sentence he gets up and walks to be bedroom to change and then starts dialling office number to discuss some work and i am still in the middle of my sentence.
Frankly I feel deeply insulted and at times pity myself.
I thought he is overwhelmed by work as he is in a very senior position and thought he needs space .. but this is going for years now...again I have talked abt it to him and given specific cases where he has behaved that way so he can relate better . He listens ..says he is sorry ..sometimes laughs and says \" did I do that \" and same thing continues tommorrow.

There are so many such things like not taking initiative for any activity .. forgetting imp days like Bdays also .. and for all the standard answer is \" Sorry ...\"

When I talk to him I feel like I am talking to a wall .. he doesnt respond .. no nodding .. nothing .. mostly within seconds he gets engrossed in tv or paper ...and I am sitting next to him trying very hard to say something !

Otherwise he is gr8 guy who respects me ..doesnt even talk with a raised voice.

Then why such uncaring behaviour .. I dont understand.
Now I have reached a point where I feel why shud I keep talking and trying to make things better when he is not interested and I have stopped sharing anything related to my office, friends and general stuff with him. I hardly talk.
But no difference from his side.. I dont think he has even noticed that I no longer talk to him. He is always busy , self contained and in his own world :-)

what do u think I should do with such a guy ? I have tried all things from books like Gentle talk, stern talk ,alls done. as said earlier he apologises but no difference.

Pls help me .. I am considering meeting a marriage consellor as I am starting to feel terribly bored and lonely in life.

Thanks,
Tony S replied. Ok tired. i do understand how frustrating it must feel for u to tolerate his behaviour. something surely is bothering him and it may not be u at all. if u r not well, does he at least call on u to ask how u r doing ? u can always tell him that u want him to come early and ' look after' him. and u did not answer my question on the love making part. becoz dear tired, u know that is the strongest bond in the world. Tony S replied. Dear tired,
dont be disheartened. first and foremost, your husband may be v. bored following a mechanical life and he may be too lazy to do anything about it as well. however, your constant telling him that he needs to converse etc. may be making him all the more stubborn as well. now try and approach the same prob. differntly. u carry on with your beautiful conversations with your son at the breakfast tabel. u laugh with him, giggle with him, have fun and only sometimes involve your husband, dont try to attract his attention or anything. let him know that u guys r not ignoring him, but he is also missing out on all the fun !!!!! and just as u would love to tell the day' s happenings to your husband, if he is ignoring u, u have done right in not telling him. better still, why dont u tell the same things to your son ? so that your husband can hear too ! of course, all of it may not make sense to the child, but there may be some things which u can spice up and tell your son and u 2 can laugh it off. this way u will feel that u have unburdened your heart and also shared your stuff with your son. about the things u cannot tell him, try writing them down in a diary whenever possible, so u do not internalise anything !
what do u guys do on weekends ? and sorry to ask u a personal question , but how often do u guys ' make real love' - i mean the foreplay, feeling each other etc., not just the routine for most couples ? this is v. important as it helps in strngthening the bond between husband and wife. do let us know so we can help u more. all the best.